Extra! Extra! Naked Cowboy…for President! Read all about it!
That’s right. This guy is running for President.
I took this pic when Princess and I visited NYC (Taking a Tiny Bite Out of the Big Apple). Apparently, he’s pretty conservative. As conservative as someone can be who’s comfy roaming the streets of New York in tight whiteys.
I’m pretty sure there’s a law that you’re not allowed to run for President if you’ve been photographed in your underoos. Maybe the hat is the loophole on that one.
Anyways, if Naked Cowboy can run for President, so can I. I mentioned it in jest, but now I’m seriously considering it. I think I’ll ask Lorraine at Late to the Party to be my Co-President. Screw having a Vice President. I want someone to share the responsibility equally.
Here are my priorities. Please feel free to comment with suggestions.
- Eliminate the Gravitron.
- Have a Sex Pancakes Holiday.
- Institute Halfway to Halloween as a national holiday.
- Start research on developing a yummy tasting chocolate that will actually help you lose weight.
- Demand that we share Pop-Tarts with other countries.
Someone needs to tackle the serious issues. And I’m willing to face them head on. Remember when you head out to the polls, a vote for me is a vote for chocolate.
Before I break another news story, let me take a moment to say I never watch the news. I know that’s exactly what you want in a President: someone uninformed.
Remember how I participated in the Susan G. Komen Run for the Cure in June? I received an email this morning, and I just want to see if anyone can confirm that it’s not SPAM (like the Russian Mafia comment.)
The email says that starting today they’re kicking off Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Then it says, visit www.69-seconds.org. Because a woman dies from breast cancer every 69 seconds.
69 seconds? Really? 69? Did someone double check the math? Maybe we should round it to 70 seconds.
In all seriousness, I encourage everyone to visit the site to help promote breast cancer awareness and “turn the virtual world pink” by using the hash tag #fightbreastcancer in your blog posts or on Facebook and Twitter.
Thoughts Appear 
September 30th, 2010 at 7:39 am
You have my vote! Eliminate the Gravitron..I love it! It is called something else today but in my mind it will always be the Gravitron aka Barf Capsule.
October 1st, 2010 at 7:02 am
Stupid Barf Capsule….
September 30th, 2010 at 8:13 am
I was all about the naked cowboy, until I read that disgusting word:
conservative.
eeewwwwwwww.
-L
September 30th, 2010 at 9:39 am
I understand your hatred of the Gravitron…but I must object on that sole platform. However, if you slightly modified it to read “Licensing for running and using the Gravitron”, I’d be a much happier camper. I’d had to not vote for you…Halfway to Halloween is a MUCH needed holiday!
September 30th, 2010 at 3:39 pm
Hmm…actually, I should have said “I’d HATE to not vote for you”. But apparently the finger to brain interface isn’t working so well today.
October 1st, 2010 at 7:03 am
I have those days, but I usually blame it on the computer instead of my brain.
September 30th, 2010 at 10:19 am
I am all for your fourth priority! Maybe Naked Cowboy could be your co-pres….You wouldn’t have to worry about EVER being undersdressed in public with him at your side!
October 1st, 2010 at 7:04 am
I can’t believe someone isn’t working on the chocolate one already.
September 30th, 2010 at 12:29 pm
This might be the happiest day of my life.
If I am elected co-president, I will certainly do all I can to eradicate the Gravitron, and I will personally spearhead the Sex Pancakes Holiday mission. It’ll be a tough job, but someone has to do it.
Might I also suggest bringing the Kitchen Sink to all 50 states and also those almost sort of states we have like in oceans and stuff? You ain’t living life until you’ve eaten ice cream out of a sink.
Vote Chocolate.
Lor
October 1st, 2010 at 7:05 am
I’d forgotten all about the Kitchen Sink. That’s why you are my co-Pres.
September 30th, 2010 at 1:51 pm
“I know that’s exactly what you want in a President: someone uninformed.”
So, basically you’re saying, if we vote for you and you win…no change from how things are…right now.
Hm. How could it be any worse?
what, pray tell, is a Gravitron?
jane
October 1st, 2010 at 7:06 am
The Gravitron aka Starship is the most horrible ride ever. Check out the McDonald Has a Farm post.
September 30th, 2010 at 2:54 pm
I want Pop-Tarts!!!
I’ll help your campaign, tell every one in the States to vote for you!! =]
October 1st, 2010 at 7:06 am
I appreciate that!
September 30th, 2010 at 4:48 pm
I suppose he’ll have the nudist vote wrapped up. Or should that be “unwrapped”?
October 1st, 2010 at 7:15 am
Oooooooo!
October 1st, 2010 at 4:39 am
I’d vote for you in a heartbeat. I’d just like to hear your stance on evil, talking muppets, specifically Big Birds first, if you don’t mind.
I can’t wait for sex pancakes day!
October 1st, 2010 at 7:16 am
Hmmmm…I’ll get back to you on that after discussing it with my co-President.
October 1st, 2010 at 5:40 am
Well, he’s an institution. 🙂
Look, I can’t comment, Sweden just let a racist party with Nazi-inclinations into the freaking government. You want to crown a just-about-nude cowboy the Leader of the Free World? You go right ahead.
As far as you running for president goes, I’m all for it – we don’t have pop-tarts where I am and it’s a crying shame, I tell you. (I’m the one doing most of the crying.) If I could ask you one question when you’re president and you, of course, arrange for me to interview you for CSiS, it would be this:
“So, Madam President, would you consider banning the manufacturing of bullets and exchanging them for Skittles?”
I mean, seriously, who doesn’t bond over Skittles? It’s totally the first step towards world peace!
x
October 1st, 2010 at 7:20 am
You, ma’am, are a genius. I’m making you the head of Dept. of Defense.
October 1st, 2010 at 8:14 am
I never watch the news….excellent transition!! Again, laughing out loud and although I have only approximately seventeen dollars to my name, they are all yours to use for your campaign. Oh, and I have some glitter and some googly eyes and pipe cleaners. Maybe I could fashion you a mascot, or some fabulous posters that can be hung around town encouraging people who may not already know of your genius to vote wisely, vote chocolate? I’ll get right on it just in case you decide to take me up on my offer.
October 1st, 2010 at 10:25 am
My campaign is going to need tons of glitter. You’re in!
October 2nd, 2010 at 7:22 pm
“Have a Sex Pancakes Holiday”…Epic FAIL!…Before I clicked the link, in my mind eye…I have seen a bed covered in warm pancakes, maples syrup and whip cream, ready to jump onto and start a Sex Pancakes Holiday…Then I clicked and all I got was a lousy — Strawberry Cheesecake Pancake…
I should not have clicked on the link, the image in my own head was WAY better…
Now I am tempted to call our local pancake house tomorrow morning order 50 to 75 fresh pancakes, get a gallon or real Canadian maple syrup and a few cans of whip cream…but who is going to clean the mess afterward?
Hmmm…. I need to rent a room at a hotel… F@#K this is going to be an expansive Sunday morning…
October 4th, 2010 at 6:16 am
Sooooooo…how did it go? Did the hotel charge you an extra clean up fee?
October 3rd, 2010 at 12:41 am
LMFAO…I think that says it all!! Two thumbs up! 🙂
October 4th, 2010 at 6:15 am
Thanks!
October 3rd, 2010 at 11:19 am
If a vote for you is a vote for chocolate (that helps make me lose weight) then I will absolutely vote for you!
October 4th, 2010 at 6:17 am
Woo-hoo! I think I’m up to 3 votes.
June 11th, 2015 at 3:48 pm
[…] Best known for performing on his country guitar in New York’s Times Square while in his underw…, Robert “Naked Cowboy” Burck ran as an independent candidate in the 2012 election under the Tea Party. He failed to get on any ballot. Burck had challenged Michael Bloomberg for the New York City mayoral position in 2009 but failed to get in the race. […]