Tag Archives: News

Pop-Tart Thievery: What Is the World Coming To?

Until recently, I thought I was the sole member of Pop-Tart Addicts Anonymous (PAA). I mean, I’ve been the only one showing up for all the meetings. We I bring cupcakes or cookies since Pop-Tarts aren’t allowed. Obviously.

Now I see that PAA has other members…but they’re just in denial.

One lady called the police on her son when he stole her Pop-Tarts. Depending on my mood that day, the pre-PAA me would have asked…

  • You can do that?
  • What flavor were they?
  • Was it the last pack?
  • Did he leave the empty box there with no shiny silver packs inside?

Jerk….

But thanks to PAA, I can now say…

My stepsons eat my Pop-Tarts all the time. I had to get 3 boxes of the chocolate peanut butter flavor before I even got to try one. Did I call the cops? No.

Another man stole Pop-Tarts from a store, and then a truck hit him while he was making his getaway. He must have been too busy stuffing his face to look both ways before crossing the street.

Unless…the person driving the truck saw the Pop-Tarts, and overcome by Pop-Tart addiction, ran the thief over so the driver could have the Pop-Tarts all to himself.

Looks like three new members will be joining the next PAA meeting. I’d better bring extra cookies.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “If that ends up being your baby, Keifer is gonna have some explaining to do.”—Misty’s Laws

Advertisements

Naked Cowboy for President and Turning the World Pink

Extra! Extra! Naked Cowboy…for President! Read all about it!

That’s right. This guy is running for President.

I took this pic when Princess and I visited NYC (Taking a Tiny Bite Out of the Big Apple). Apparently, he’s pretty conservative. As conservative as someone can be who’s comfy roaming the streets of New York in tight whiteys.

I’m pretty sure there’s a law that you’re not allowed to run for President if you’ve been photographed in your underoos. Maybe the hat is the loophole on that one.

Anyways, if Naked Cowboy can run for President, so can I. I mentioned it in jest, but now I’m seriously considering it. I think I’ll ask Lorraine at Late to the Party to be my Co-President. Screw having a Vice President. I want someone to share the responsibility equally.

Here are my priorities. Please feel free to comment with suggestions.

Someone needs to tackle the serious issues. And I’m willing to face them head on. Remember when you head out to the polls, a vote for me is a vote for chocolate.

Before I break another news story, let me take a moment to say I never watch the news. I know that’s exactly what you want in a President: someone uninformed.

Remember how I participated in the Susan G. Komen Run for the Cure in June? I received an email this morning, and I just want to see if anyone can confirm that it’s not SPAM (like the Russian Mafia comment.)

The email says that starting today they’re kicking off Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Then it says, visit www.69-seconds.org. Because a woman dies from breast cancer every 69 seconds.

69 seconds? Really? 69? Did someone double check the math? Maybe we should round it to 70 seconds.

In all seriousness, I encourage everyone to visit the site to help promote breast cancer awareness and “turn the virtual world pink” by using the hash tag #fightbreastcancer in your blog posts or on Facebook and Twitter.