Holy Deep-Fried Pop-Tart, Batman!

Finally…the post you’ve all been waiting for. Two posts for two fair trips. Why two trips? Because there was too much tasty food to cram in my belly in one day without going into some type of sugar coma.

Here’s the first post in case you missed it.

What I wanted to eat:

  • Cookies N’ Cream Funnel Cake
  • Deep-Fried Pop-Tart

    Behold the Deep Fried Pop-Tart in All Its Powdered Sugar Glory

  • Deep-Fried Oreos
  • Deep-Fried Twinkie
  • Deep-Fried Snickers (Is there a theme developing here?)
  • Cotton Candy (Nope. No theme.)
  • Shaved Ice

What I actually ate:

  • 1 Deep-Fried Oreo
  • 1 Deep-Fried Twinkie
  • 1 Deep-Fried Pop-Tart

I know. I’m pathetic. Not even half.

This year’s deep-fried Oreo was disappointing. Last year they were glooorrrious, so I don’t know what went wrong this year.

Deep-fried Twinkie, I hereby dub you heaven-on-a-stick. Powdered sugar and chocolate covering a dough-covered sponge cake with warm cream filling.

Oh. My. God. I swear I teared up as I ate it.

Wednesday night (after the Twinkie and Oreo), I was waiting in line with Boo, Radley, and friends because they wanted an Elephant Ear. That’s when I saw it.

The sign showed a Strawberry Frosted Pop-Tart and said “Deep-Fried Pop-Tart $3.”

Radley was already sucking down an ice cream cone, but Boo hadn’t ordered yet. There was still time.

Me: Boo! Stop! Order the Pop-Tart instead of the Elephant Ear, so I can have a bite of it.

Boo: Nah….

Me: Dammit, Boo! This is an emergency!

In my weakened condition from the Twinkie and Oreo, I knew there was no way I could finish a Pop-Tart as well. My only chance was too mooch off Boo.

Me: Come on, Boo. Everybody’s doing it.

Stoopid kid wouldn’t succumb to the peer pressure. Is there a Just Say No to Pop-Tarts program in schools that I don’t know about? What are they teaching these days? When I’m President, Pop-Tarts will be mandatory in school lunches.

So Kiefer took me back to the fair a couple days later to taste the deep-fried Pop-Tart. Here’s what happened:

  • You’ll notice in the picture above there are 2 (count ’em)…2 Pop-Tarts! That was a surprise. I thought I was only getting one. Off to a good start.
  • As I walked to the nearest table, powdered sugar blew all over me. Crack addicts appeared from nowhere and began snorting my shorts.
  • Ouch! Those mother fudgin’ Pop-Tarts were too hot to eat. So I waited.
  • And I waited.
  • And I waited some more.
  • An eternity later, I bit into that warm cake-covered Pop-Tarty goodness. Where the eff was the Pop-Tart? Finally I tasted it…brown sugar and cinnamon? What the….

Was this some type of cruel trick? Where was the frosted strawberry Pop-Tart that was on the sign? Flippin’ brown sugar and cinnamon?!

Jerks….

Should have gotten the Snickers.

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About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

27 responses to “Holy Deep-Fried Pop-Tart, Batman!

  • mairzeebp

    The crack addicts line had me laughing out loud! How dare they make a pop tart substitution and not make you aware of it. I will admit that I do like the cinnamon ones better than the strawberry but that has no bearing on this story. And please, for me, should you ever try a deep fried Snickers, let me know how it is. I actually don’t cook a thing but pasta and scrambled eggs when I’m desperate but I would purchase a deep fryer just so I could drop a Snickers in. Truth.

  • Tinkerschnitzel

    That’s sooo wrong that it wasn’t strawberry. What’s wrong with these people? I have yet to head out to the fair and try a deep fried oreo. It just sounds so good, I know I’d gorge myself on them. 🙂 Thanks for visiting my place!

  • Pauline

    I’m not big on Pop Tarts, they taste less like tarts and more like cardboard with questionable filling.

    Do you know there is some guy in the States (Specific, I know! LOL) who operates a deep fried butter stand at carnivals.

    Deep.Fried.Butter.

  • Lorraine

    I have to admit that the deep fried Twinkie was the most appealing to and now I’m wondering if I can fry my own Twinkies. HMMMM..

    Maybe I’ll quit my job and operate a deep-fried-sex-pancakes stand. OMG. I’m a genius.

    Lor

    • thoughtsappear

      Oh man…does this mean you’ll be too busy making loads of money off the deep-fried sex pancakes to be my co-Pres?

      On second thought, that’s ok. I’m sorry. My priorities were messed up for a moment.

  • Amy

    What a rip-off!! This is how dreams are destroyed. Did you get another fried Twinkie to console yourself? I would have.

  • cocktailsattiffanys

    You don’t like brown sugar and cinnamon!!!

    Damn guh!

    -Lucky

  • Penny

    That is a lot of deep fried! LoL And I can’t say a deep fried pop tart sounds delish…especially one that wasn’t what they posted! LOL Maybe you can find a snickers?

  • She.Is.Just.A.Rat

    Recommendation for savoury deep fried goodness? Pickles. Seriously. Try it.

  • hippie cahier

    I just love the maternal influence you are having on Boo and Radley. Well done, very well done.
    I have philosophical misgivings about sharing this, because I hate to give this show a ratings boost (yes, legions of people will be waiting with baited breath to know what I watch)…but there’s a cable show about eating…oh, darn…I don’t know what it’s called. But anyway, I caught an episode about a restaurant that serves everything deep fried. In addition to what’s on the menu (Snickers, Twinkies, Oreos, pickles…), customers are welcome to bring their own food and the restaurant will do their best to deep fry it. I was fascinated. Troubled a bit when thinking about people starving in the world, but fascinated enough to keep watching.

    • thoughtsappear

      I think Boo and Radley see me as their personal dessert shopper/assistant something. =)

      I’ve never seen that show. That’s crazy about the restaurant! I bet people bring in some pretty weird stuff.

  • 2zpoint

    I want a Chocolate dipped twinkie personally … it just sounds like a blissful coronary waiting to happen!….NO WAIT…what if they deep fried it…Then dipped it in chocolate! makes my heart stop just thinking about it!…possibly some whipped cream…Oh stop it! LOL!

  • mescribe

    I am, actually, disappointed in you. Here I was reading the list thinking Oh, wonder what that would taste like, and that… I’ll soon find out. But no! I didn’t! Because you didn’t sample them! Tsk, tsk, tsk, my dear.

    Personally I would have loved to have tried the DF Snickers and DF Twinkie (alright, so the Twinkie you tried – that’s why I really want a taste, too). Mmmmh, fair goodness. I’m a sucker for these freshly baked doughnuts they always serve at Swedish fairs. They are a sugary roundiness straight out of Nirvana.

    FYI: Tomorrow is Cinnamon Bun Day in Sweden – even though I take it you’re not a big cinnamon fan… ? I am, however, with a glass of milk, fresh out of the oven. Oh. My. Spielberg. Can’t wait. 😉

  • BeneathTheSpinLight

    “As I walked to the nearest table, powdered sugar blew all over me. Crack addicts appeared from nowhere and began snorting my shorts.”

    My stomach hurts from laughing so hard. Thank you for making my day. 🙂

  • pearlsandprose

    Soooo glad I read this so I could eat fair food vicariously. All the enjoyment without the guilt–priceless.

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