There’s a First Time for Everything

Cupcake Dangler (CD):  While I was running errands, I ran into an old buddy, and we grabbed a drink. How was your night?

Me: It was fine…right up until the point that you stood me up.

In my 15 dating years, I’ve never been stood up. Even Mephistopheles never pulled that. He was notorious for showing up late, but he always showed up.

CD: I didn’t realize I had actually committed to seeing you tonight.

Oh no you didn’t…. The c-word rears its ugly head.

CD: I’m sorry. I messed up.

Me: It’s ok.

That “It’s ok” was the kind you feel like you have to say because someone apologized, but in reality, your feelings are still hurt and you just want to punch the asshatted douchearoo in the face.

Except for this, CD was a perfect gentleman while we dated. But it was this exchange that made me begin to realize he wasn’t the guy for me.

My friend Puddin’ put it best: “He’s nice guy. But he’s not your nice guy.”

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “That cupcake is terrifying. Look at the eyes! Cookie Monster is choking on that cookie. Why are you wasting time arguing about desserts and nicknames when you should be doing the Heimlich maneuver?”—Laura

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The Princess Treatment in Pittsburgh

The Ravens beat the Steelers! Oh yeah!

This weekend Clay learned a very valuable lesson. The lesson of the jinx.

Just a couple weeks ago, Clay left this comment on my blog. For those of you too lazy to click on it (I completely understand—It’s Monday), he said the Steelers were going to beat the Ravens.

JINX! And that comment is why the Steelers got stomped.

For those nonfootball watchers,* let me fill you in on the score: Ravens 35, Steelers 7.

Speaking of Pittsburgh, guess where I was this weekend. Pittsburgh. I drove up to visit Puddin’ and her son (let’s call him Snack Pack).

We took Snack Pack to Kennywood, where I got the best sprinkle-covered twist cone ever. I’d show you a picture, but I scarfed that sucker down.

Since I’m not really a ride person, I spent the entire time people watching. I snapped this for your viewing pleasure:

Check out the rat tail on the guy in the white t-shirt.

I didn’t know guys wore rat tails any more. Apparently, they do. And apparently, they wear loooong rat tails.

Anyways, let’s move on to how 5-year-old Snack Pack schooled almost every guy I’ve ever dated.

On my drive up to Pittsburgh, I saw a praying mantis. And I thought, Doesn’t the lady praying mantis eat the male after they mate? Maybe I should start doing that.

She's refueling.

Then…Snack Pack opened my car door for me. And he shut it. Once he buckled himself into his car seat, he said, “Didn’t that make you feel like a princess?”

I melted.

All together now: Awwwww….

*I am a nonfootball watcher (except for the Superbowl). I didn’t even realize the Ravens won until my Steelers-fan coworker walked in looking like he lost his puppy.

Please Pass the Catch-Up

I love ketchup. Ketchup on onion rings. Ketchup on hash browns. Ketchup on french fries.

Sometimes I mix a little bit of mustard in the ketchup to tang it up. Mmmmm….

Puddin’: You sure do like your ketchup. (::watching wide-eyed as I shove my knife up the ketchup bottle to scrape it clean::)  Be careful with the knife.

Me: The onion ring is just a vehicle for the ketchup.

Kiefer  and Lunchbox (my brother) have made the same observation when we share food that comes with dips.

Kiefer: You sure do like crab dip. (::sliding the dip closer to him and away from me::)

Lunchbox: Would you like a little nacho with that cheese? Stop dipping, you dip hog!

Kiefer is a little more subtle about it.

Anyways, I just wanted to share my love of condiments and dip with you. Plus I’m putting some catch-up in my blog post today. God, I love the pun fun.

I’m a little behind with some awards I’ve been given.

One from Ms. Sass, one from Marina, and one from Spinny (I hope you’re ok with that nickname). 

Ladies, I salute you. If I missed anyone, I salute you, too.

I never know what the etiquette is for when you get the same award twice, but I wanted to let these ladies know I appreciate the award, and their blog post didn’t go unnoticed.

• Memetastic Award
• Stylin’ Award

So now I’m caught up.

But what about you? Ahem. Have you completed your blog homework? Have you made the crack bread yet? Betty did. A+ for her!

Is It Hot in Here? Or Is It Just Me?

Last night I talked with my friend Puddin’. We always cover a broad range of topics, such as the following:

• Mary Poppins’s bloomers
• Pop-Tarts vs. Frosted Mini-Wheats for breakfast
• Books (in particular how Alice I Have Been made me suspect Lewis Carroll’s intentions towards little girls)
• Tom Hanks movies
• Her son saying “Okey Dokey”
• Handsome Hot actors

I’d like to open up the last bullet for discussion. Here’s an excerpt of Puddin’ and I’s conversation.

Puddin’: I’ve been abusing my free trial of Netflix. All I do is watch movies….God, Hugh Jackson is hot.

Me: Yeah, he is. ::Sigh:: Until he opens his mouth. Wait, or is that Gerard Butler? One of them sounds like a goofball.

Puddin’: You know who is hot? Channing Tatum. And he’s 30! He’s in my age range! I always feel weird saying Taylor Lautner is hot….

Me: Yeah. I don’t like admitting that I think Taylor Lautner is hot to anyone but you. So Channing Tatum is our new Cabana boy?

When I was a tween (Yes, I just said “Tween.” I’m hip.), I had crushes on tons of guys. But once I got a little older, I remember there really only being 2 go-to hot adult actors: Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise.

And Sean Connery. (And am I the only one who had a little thing for Tommy Lee Jones?) But let’s face it…an 18-year-old couldn’t admit to that. It’s only acceptable for a real adult to say that, not a wannabe adult.

Now there are tons of good-lookin’ actors to drool over.

Who are some of your favorite actors/actresses now and when you were younger?

The ABCs of Thanksgiving

With Thanksgiving being tomorrow, it’s important to give thanks (especially to the cook).

I know it’s easy to focus on all of that tasty food and forget about being thankful. That’s why I’m giving thanks now, so later I can give that huge plate of mashed potatoes and gravy my full attention.

Remember Randy from A Christmas Story? That’ll be me. Except there will be gravy. Lots and lots of gravy.

Here’s a list of things I am thankful for—ABC style:

• Apple pie with ice cream
• Blueberry muffins
• Chocolate
• Doughnuts
• Esme (And Isabel and Teva)
• Family and friends
• Grandparents (As more of my friends’ grandparents pass away, I’m exceedingly grateful that all of mine are still alive and well.)
• Home (I love my new place with Blarney, but I love that my parents’ home is always open to me.)
• Ice cream
• Job (that I have one)
• Kiefer and the boys
• Love
• Mashed potatoes and gravy
• Naps
• Oranges (Real ones, not chocolate ones.)
• Pop-Tarts (I know you saw this one coming.)
• Quotes
• Roommate (Blarney rocks!)
• Shopping
• Twinkies
• Uranus (That planet always makes me giggle.)
• Velveteen rabbits (Awww….)
• Winter
• Xanadu (Putting “xylophones”—the only X word I know—here just didn’t seem right.)
• You (My blog readers are [to quote The Unabridged Girl] awesomesauce.)
• Zombies

I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving!