Movie Monday: The Perks of Being a Wallflower

My brother Lunchbox and I always talk about movies. It’s pretty much the only thing we talk about. Besides Percy Q. Poodle.

Thoughtsy: How’s the West Coast?

Lunchbox: Good.

Thoughtsy: How’s the fiance?

Lunchbox: Good.

Thoughtsy: How’s Percy?

Lunchbox: Good.

Thoughtsy: Seen any good movies lately?

Lunchbox: Did you see Perks of Being a Wallflower? We had dinner with the Chboskys.

Thoughtsy: …

Lunchbox: The writer and director of the movie.

Thoughtsy: Did you just name drop?

I’d been saving my write up of the movie for a special occasion, and I’m pretty sure that conversation counts. Mark this as the day that I began my journey towards linking myself to Kevin Bacon through 6 degrees.

Here’s what I learned from the movie:

• Have a living room dance routine prepared for homecoming.
• At parties, don’t eat the brownies.
• If you do eat the brownies, you’ll crave milkshakes.
• Always let the guy pick the makeout music.

Most importantly, I learned that we accept the love we think we deserve.

Long Distance Never Works

While I was in LA, I was single. Which meant I was on the prrrrrrrrrowl.

Ok, not really because I was with my mom. And my brother. And I was on the opposite side of the country.

But two “guys” did initiate some innocent flirting.

Notice the SpongeBob photobomb. Jerk…

Fievel was my favorite, but Curious George laid it on my pretty thick, so…we’ll see what develops. I’m not sure I’m into long-distance relationships, but at least I have options.

• Fievel Pros: He can sing and wears a cute hat.
• Fievel Con: He’s from Russia, so I’m not sure if he has a green card.
• Curious George Pros: He kissed my hand and danced with me. Obviously, he’s very romantic.
• Curious George Con: He doesn’t wear clothes.

Who should I date: Fievel or Curious George?

Favorite Comment From Last Post: ‘Whew! I thought ‘chocolate boyfriend’ was going to be code for something offered by the Trojan Co. Thanks for not going there.”—Peg-o-Leg

Welcome to the Jungle

In just a few short days, I’ll be in LA. Which means in just a few short days, I’ll be famous. “Thoughtsy” will soon become a household name.

I’m just going to visit Percy Q. Poodle my brother and his fiance, but I’m sure while I’m touring Universal Studios, I’ll get pulled from the tour to fill in on a bit part in a movie, and that’ll lead to larger roles and within a few months, you’ll see me starring opposite Channing Tatum and Johnny Depp.

With Percy and I back together, I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before Benji is remade, too.

Anyways, while I’m rubbing elbows with the rich and famous, what should I see in LA?

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Somewhere there’s a poor dead hostage with a giant penis. So sad.”—The Cannibalistic Nerd

Dear Percy Q. Poodle

Dear Percy Q. Poodle,

How is California life treating you? Did Lunchbox get you some sunglasses? Is he applying the proper SPF of sunscreen?

I’m writing you to let you know how saddened I am by your move to California. 

I know moving to the West Coast will help in your journey to make it to the Big Screen. (Are they making a Poochie movie any time soon? If you dye your fur pink, I think you’re a shoo-in.) I’m sorry that I tried to bribe you with treats to stay on the East Coast. Asking you to stay was selfish of me.

Percy, why?! Why are you abandoning me?

Your presence is sorely missed.

Love,

Thoughtsy

PS: Tell Lunchbox and his fiance I miss them, too.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “You should store your own food stuffs in a Tupperware container in your bedroom closet. And just in case…top off the stash of food with boxes of maxi pads, tampons, douches…anything that would give guys a case of the heebie jeebies. And voila, your food stuffs will be safe and sound!”—Catching Forty Winks

(CFW, your blog address didn’t work, but if you send it to me, I’ll add it.)

Beverly Hills 9021-No

Awhile ago my little brother Lunchbox hit me some news: he was looking at engagement rings for his girlfriend.

Awwww….

And he and his girlfriend were moving to California….

No.

…in a couple months….

NOOOOOOO!

My first question to him: Are you taking Percy with you? If so, we need a plan for shared custody.

Lunchbox and I are about 2 years apart, and despite a rocky start as youngsters (he threw a rotten tomato at my head, and I whipped him with a rubber snake), we’re close. 

The thought of not having easy access to him, him not being close by saddens me. And it scares me.

So I’m devising a plan to convince him to stay. Right now my plan involves dropping to the ground, wrapping myself around his leg, followed by crying and screaming for him not to go.

My backup plan is to kidnap Percy. They’ll never leave without him.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Every time I wake I hurry and look at the window because I hope the Zombie Apocalypse started….”—Marina Sleeps