When Kiefer and I first started dating, Radley was 5. He was a cutie who always wanted me to carry him or let him sit in my lap.
We may or may not have also been into matching the color of our shirts.
And then one time, Radley farted…while he was in my lap.
I told him it would be great if he could stand up next time. So from then on, randomly he would pop off my lap, take a few steps away, fart, and then climb back into my lap.
It was hilarious.
In addition to farting-lapsitting etiquette, Radley also had no idea what sarcasm was.
Kiefer: Thoughtsy, look! A pumpkin scone!
Thoughtsy: My favorite!
Radley: Wait…I thought you didn’t like pumpkin?
Now Radley’s almost 11, and he loves sarcasm.
Radley: Now don’t eat my pumpkin pie, Thoughtsy. I know how much you love it.
Not only has he mastered sarcasm, he’s also mastered the pun:
Radley busts in on Boo while he’s in the bathroom. Screaming and laughing commences. Then…
Radley: Dad, I think I broke the bathroom door knob! I think it needs to be screwed back in.
Kiefer: Stop screwing around up there! (This pun was completely unintentional.)
Radley: Nice one, Dad. I see what you did there. Screw. Ha-ha!
Radley still has a lot to learn though.
Radley: I want to be Michael Myers or Jason for Halloween.
A couple weeks later when Kiefer and I were watching Halloween…
Radley: Who is that guy?
Obviously, we’ve spent too much time on word play and not enough time watching horror movies.
Got any kid stories to share? They don’t have to be your kids.