Last week was the Great Frederick Fair. I go to the fair for the food, which will be receiving its own post later, but first, I’ll fill you in on other fair activities.
Runners up to the food are the animals.
I named them all Wilbur. Except for the one on the left. His name is Pete. Your left, not my left. No, your other left. Make the Ls with your hands.
Piglet Fun Fact #1: Pigs can get sunburn.
Before we continue, let’s have a round of applause for Kiefer. Because Kiefer hates cows. Yet we still made a special trip to the animal section to check out the calves and their big, beautiful doe eyes.
I think Kiefer hates cows because they stink. But really, whose poo doesn’t stink? Apparently they don’t have cows on the crunchy West Coast.
The fair also had a Birthing Center where you can watch cows give birth. Yeeeeah…. We didn’t hang around for that. Although it may have been pretty cool.
Of course, the fair also has rides. Blah. I really could care less. Except for the pony ride. When I was little, I always had to ride the ponies. Twice.
I was hoping to relive my youth and ride the ponies, but can you believe there is a 70-pound weight limit? I tried to convince the guy I weighed under that, but he didn’t believe me. What-ever. Pony poo-head.
I’ve already admitted that I’m not a big fan of rollercoasters (If you haven’t read the rollercoaster post, you should. It’s one of my favs.), but I’m also not fond of rides that spin…or drop. Really I dislike most rides.
But this ride. This ride is the worst.
This ride comes straight from the depths of H-E-double hockey sticks. When I become President (A vote for me, is a vote for chocolate.), I’m eliminating this ride from existence.
Why is this ride so horrible?
- It looks like a UFO. You know what happens on UFOs? Anal probes.
- It spins around at a gazillion miles an hour. That’s just not safe.
- When someone else pukes, it gets all over you. There’s no escape. It’s like that math problem where you throw the baseball on a train. The puke stays in the same spot and you move into it.