Fried Green Tomatoes

In June I turned 34, and I realized I had less than a year to complete my 35 Before 35 list.

I decided to start right then and there to continue working on it, starting with #7: Try fried green tomatoes.

But I amended it a little: Try fried green tomatoes…while sipping a Key Lime Pie Martini.

Completed!

Let me know if you have any suggestions for my 35 Before 35 list. There are a few that I have no interest in anymore. Suggestions welcome!

Thanksgiving-Themed Frozen Yogurt: Creamed Corn?

In case you didn’t know, my blogger-buddy Misty had a baby. And although I plan to descend upon her and the baby (aka possibly Scout’s future boyfriend) soon, we tried* to squeeze in one more prebaby date.

*The Braxton Hicks decided to trick Misty, so we didn’t meet.

So we were going to meet for frozen yogurt. A dessert fiend and a pregnant lady. Where else would we go? Duh.

As I scoped out the flavors online, I ran across this flavor:

WTF.

Reeeeeeeeeally. Creamed corn frozen yogurt.

Who decided that was a good idea?

Veggies and dessert do not mix—That comes from someone who claims her PB&J is a fruit because it contains strawberry jelly.

And why does it say it contains milk? It should say, “Contains Corn.”

What’s the funkiest flavor yogurt you’ve tried?

Pumpkins Will One Day Rule the World

It’s that time of year…the time of year where almost everyone* falls victim to Pumpkin Madness.

*Everyone but me.

Pumpkin spice lattes, pumpkin scones, pumpkin Oreos, pumpkin Pop-Tarts…. ::shudder::

Oh, Pop-Tarts, why have thou forsaken me?

And is if that’s not enough, now there are pumpkin bagels.

Tell me: When does it all end?

Nevermind. I can answer my own question: When Christmas flavors come into season…which should be any day now since it’s mid-October.

I Spent New Year’s Eve Stalking Unicorns

On New Year’s Eve morning, I had no idea what to bring to the party Kiefer and I were going to. I thought of just making a good standby recipe, but…I have a reputation to uphold.

Imaginary Conversation with Friend: “Oh. You made Orange Dreamsicle cookies…again.”

Imaginary Thoughtsy: I know…I FAILED!

Then…I saw it.

A cookie so colorful, so glittery, so sprinkley—it was perfect!

Behold, the Unicorn Poop Cookie.

We used some star sprinkles. I wish I’d taken a closeup.

Here’s how you make a unicorn poop cookie:

1. Enlist the help of children. Unicorns like children.
2. Have the children call out, “Here unicorny-corny! I have treats!”
3. Feed the unicorn a lot of Fruity Pebble treats. A lot.
4. Give each child a bag.
5. Wait.
6. Wait some more.
7. Tell the unicorn to “Go potty!”
8. Instruct the children to walk behind the unicorn and bag the unicorn droppings.
9. Make sure the children wash their hands when they’re done.

Boo and Radley are now expert unicorn poop baggers if you’d like to borrow them. You’ll have to pay them, of course, since there are child labor laws. They would probably accept cookies as payment.

Oooooooor…you can whip up some sugar cookie dough (I added cherry vanilla flavoring to change it up)…

1. Separate it and dye it with neon food coloring. The boys and I wore sandwich bags on our hands to avoid coloring our skin.
2. Refrigerate the for 30 minutes or so.
3. Roll each color into a snake.
4. Twist the dough snakes together.
5. Wrap the dough in a circle.
6. Bake at 375 for about 8 minutes.
7. Decorate cooled cookies with confetti icing gel, glitter sprinkles, and gold star sprinkles.

You can do it however you want, but the first scenario has less clean up and involves a real unicorn. Just sayin’….

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “No, he did not call you fat, of course. He called you PHAT. That’s street for totally bitchin’, or so I’m told.”—Pegoleg

Pop-Tart Thievery: What Is the World Coming To?

Until recently, I thought I was the sole member of Pop-Tart Addicts Anonymous (PAA). I mean, I’ve been the only one showing up for all the meetings. We I bring cupcakes or cookies since Pop-Tarts aren’t allowed. Obviously.

Now I see that PAA has other members…but they’re just in denial.

One lady called the police on her son when he stole her Pop-Tarts. Depending on my mood that day, the pre-PAA me would have asked…

• You can do that?
• What flavor were they?
• Was it the last pack?
• Did he leave the empty box there with no shiny silver packs inside?

Jerk….

But thanks to PAA, I can now say…

My stepsons eat my Pop-Tarts all the time. I had to get 3 boxes of the chocolate peanut butter flavor before I even got to try one. Did I call the cops? No.

Another man stole Pop-Tarts from a store, and then a truck hit him while he was making his getaway. He must have been too busy stuffing his face to look both ways before crossing the street.

Unless…the person driving the truck saw the Pop-Tarts, and overcome by Pop-Tart addiction, ran the thief over so the driver could have the Pop-Tarts all to himself.

Looks like three new members will be joining the next PAA meeting. I’d better bring extra cookies.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “If that ends up being your baby, Keifer is gonna have some explaining to do.”—Misty’s Laws