On New Year’s Eve morning, I had no idea what to bring to the party Kiefer and I were going to. I thought of just making a good standby recipe, but…I have a reputation to uphold.
Imaginary Conversation with Friend: “Oh. You made Orange Dreamsicle cookies…again.”
Imaginary Thoughtsy: I know…I FAILED!
Then…I saw it.
A cookie so colorful, so glittery, so sprinkley—it was perfect!
Behold, the Unicorn Poop Cookie.
Here’s how you make a unicorn poop cookie:
- Enlist the help of children. Unicorns like children.
- Have the children call out, “Here unicorny-corny! I have treats!”
- Feed the unicorn a lot of Fruity Pebble treats. A lot.
- Give each child a bag.
- Wait some more.
- Tell the unicorn to “Go potty!”
- Instruct the children to walk behind the unicorn and bag the unicorn droppings.
- Make sure the children wash their hands when they’re done.
Boo and Radley are now expert unicorn poop baggers if you’d like to borrow them. You’ll have to pay them, of course, since there are child labor laws. They would probably accept cookies as payment.
Oooooooor…you can whip up some sugar cookie dough (I added cherry vanilla flavoring to change it up)…
- Separate it and dye it with neon food coloring. The boys and I wore sandwich bags on our hands to avoid coloring our skin.
- Refrigerate the for 30 minutes or so.
- Roll each color into a snake.
- Twist the dough snakes together.
- Wrap the dough in a circle.
- Bake at 375 for about 8 minutes.
- Decorate cooled cookies with confetti icing gel, glitter sprinkles, and gold star sprinkles.
You can do it however you want, but the first scenario has less clean up and involves a real unicorn. Just sayin’….
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “No, he did not call you fat, of course. He called you PHAT. That’s street for totally bitchin’, or so I’m told.”—Pegoleg
January 2nd, 2014 at 9:04 am
Oh sweet lord the bright, glittery piles of yum-yums. I totally want one of these.
January 2nd, 2014 at 9:06 am
While they look intriguing and sound kind of delicious . . . I’m not sure I could put something in my mouth that looked like ANY animal’s feces. Even magically delicious poop.
January 6th, 2014 at 8:08 am
That’s what I thought at first, too, especially since I only like warm sugar cookies. I just added a lot of glitter to my cookie, and it all worked out.
January 2nd, 2014 at 9:25 am
You had me at Fruity Pebble treats!
January 6th, 2014 at 8:07 am
Those are sooooo good. I made one batch and was hoping to make a second, but the boys ate the rest of the box. Jerks….
January 2nd, 2014 at 9:27 am
They look magically delicious!
January 2nd, 2014 at 10:31 am
And were you the hit of the party? Because I feel like you should have at least been paraded around on someone’s shoulders.
January 2nd, 2014 at 11:40 am
You know, most of the time if I see brightly colored poop, I’m alarmed. But this unicorn crap just might be something worth celebrating.
January 2nd, 2014 at 3:10 pm
My unicorn only likes skittles and Malibu Rum. Her cookies are da bommmmb!
January 3rd, 2014 at 12:50 pm
Poop the rainbow!!!
January 6th, 2014 at 8:27 am
All the Skittles flavors? I don’t like the green ones now that they changed them to green apple.
January 2nd, 2014 at 4:43 pm
Ummm…I think we both have poop on the brain. I created a cookie over New Year’s that we dubbed Crayola Turds.
I’m a huge fan of these unicorn poops…my daughter would LOVE them. lol
cheers to bringing in the new year with poo!
January 2nd, 2014 at 5:02 pm
freaking amazing! I see unicorn poop at birthday parties of the future.
January 2nd, 2014 at 6:10 pm
I appreciate the recipe but it’s a little discouraging for those of us who live in small towns. Our grocery stores never stock new age foods like quinoa and unicorn poop. I’ll check Whole Foods next time I’m in the big city.
January 3rd, 2014 at 12:03 pm
…and she wins fave comment again…
January 3rd, 2014 at 2:16 pm
A girl can dream…
January 6th, 2014 at 8:09 am
January 2nd, 2014 at 8:05 pm
Our old neighbor had a dog that could do that, just by eating crayons.
January 2nd, 2014 at 10:04 pm
Awesome! This post not only gave me a giggle but a new cookie recipe. I don’t have kids and I don’t have a unicorn detector so I’ll just have to use the old stand-by recipe. It’s a shame. I’ve always wanted to pet a unicorn.
January 2nd, 2014 at 11:45 pm
I believe that I just found a new tradition to start as aunt to the wee ones. Thank you 🙂
January 6th, 2014 at 8:26 am
Radley loved making these cookies.
January 2nd, 2014 at 11:58 pm
I feel like you may now be a member of Jenny Lawson’s Unicorn Success Club.
January 6th, 2014 at 8:25 am
January 3rd, 2014 at 4:27 am
Well, since you could not get drunk on NYE (or any time soon) or use illegal recreational drugs – this was the next best thing to see “oh, these colours”, wasn’t it?
January 3rd, 2014 at 3:15 pm
I LOVE it! I have a recipe for just regular poop cookies. They aren’t as pretty, but they taste like chocolate!
January 3rd, 2014 at 4:33 pm
OMG, these are amazing! The move lovely poop I’ve ever seen!
January 4th, 2014 at 1:05 pm
Oooo these are awesome! Will definitely be stealing this idea!
January 4th, 2014 at 6:50 pm
These recipes should be part of the next Iron Chef competition. I’d love to see Emeril Lagasse trying the first option. BAM!
January 5th, 2014 at 6:19 am
Those look amazing! So bright… so colourful… so GLITTERY!
January 5th, 2014 at 11:57 pm
Oh my goodness. I’m pretty sure that if I ate those I would develop magical abilities. Finally.
January 6th, 2014 at 8:24 am
I hoped for the same thing. I got nothing. Or maybe I just need to eat more cookies.
January 6th, 2014 at 2:13 am
We don’t have any unicorns in our neighborhood, so I tried recipe #1 with my cats. The results were disappointing.
January 6th, 2014 at 8:25 am
Did you have to clean litter off of them? I don’t like crunchy cookies.
January 6th, 2014 at 10:48 pm
Crunchy on the outside, soft on the — nope, sorry, can’t finish this comment. I’m even grossing myself out with this one.