Until recently, I thought I was the sole member of Pop-Tart Addicts Anonymous (PAA). I mean, I’ve been the only one showing up for all the meetings. We I bring cupcakes or cookies since Pop-Tarts aren’t allowed. Obviously.
Now I see that PAA has other members…but they’re just in denial.
One lady called the police on her son when he stole her Pop-Tarts. Depending on my mood that day, the pre-PAA me would have asked…
- You can do that?
- What flavor were they?
- Was it the last pack?
- Did he leave the empty box there with no shiny silver packs inside?

Jerk….
But thanks to PAA, I can now say…
My stepsons eat my Pop-Tarts all the time. I had to get 3 boxes of the chocolate peanut butter flavor before I even got to try one. Did I call the cops? No.
Another man stole Pop-Tarts from a store, and then a truck hit him while he was making his getaway. He must have been too busy stuffing his face to look both ways before crossing the street.
Unless…the person driving the truck saw the Pop-Tarts, and overcome by Pop-Tart addiction, ran the thief over so the driver could have the Pop-Tarts all to himself.
Looks like three new members will be joining the next PAA meeting. I’d better bring extra cookies.
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “If that ends up being your baby, Keifer is gonna have some explaining to do.”—Misty’s Laws
November 12th, 2013 at 9:07 am
So I really only like the strawberry frosted Pop Tarts and I eat the boring crust around the outside first and then the filling/icing part last because delayed gratification is a thing with me. Does this make me a freak? My wife wants to know.
November 12th, 2013 at 1:22 pm
I do the same thing, but I only eat the edges about halfway down before I tuck in on the yummy middle. They should do a series of “How Do You Eat Your Pop Tarts?” commercials, like they do with Reese’s Cups.
November 12th, 2013 at 2:30 pm
As far as I’m concerned, this is the only way to eat pop tarts until I successfully find a way to eat from the center out.
November 13th, 2013 at 9:18 am
That used to be how I ate them, too. Now I tend to give the crusts to Ozzy Pups.
November 12th, 2013 at 9:19 am
Awww, I love it when I get favorite comment. Makes my day! 😉
As to the thievery . . . I think you are seeing that you, in fact, are not alone in your addiction. The shame and ridicule has kept them all in hiding, but maybe they are all finally comfortable joining you in your meetings. Must be the cupcakes.
November 12th, 2013 at 9:22 am
I have been eating s’mores Pop Tarts for breakfast since the beginning of my second trimester!
November 13th, 2013 at 9:19 am
That’s one of my favorite flavors. Who am I kidding? They’re all my favorite flavors!
November 12th, 2013 at 1:31 pm
The road to hell is paved with Pop-Tarts.
November 12th, 2013 at 4:34 pm
Every time I read one of your posts I want to run to the store to get myself some pop tarts. The frosted brown sugar cinnamon kind! MMMMmmmmm! I keep stopping myself but I don’t know how much longer I can hold off. 🙂
November 12th, 2013 at 5:40 pm
I think I may be guilty of said thievery…
Cheers
CCU
November 12th, 2013 at 5:56 pm
Reblogged this on Folklores' of the Chosen.
November 12th, 2013 at 6:54 pm
Oh, another one of those permissive parents who let their kids get away with everything. If you don’t call the cops for pop-tart thievery, next thing you know they’ll be all grown up and robbing banks.
November 13th, 2013 at 9:19 am
Good point. It’s better to be hard when they’re young and ease up on them later…after they move out.
December 1st, 2013 at 12:58 pm
Were you aware of the Pumpkin Pie (limited edition) Pop-Tarts? Took me forever to locate them among several different stores! They are like portable pumpkin pies!!! 🙂