Just in case you didn’t know…Fall Halloween is nearly upon us.
I’d like to take this opportunity to educate new readers on my views of pumpkin. I preach and practice P.A.R.E. (Pumpkin Abuse Resistance Education).
Acceptable Pumpkin
This candy is pretty much the only acceptable pumpkin. Ever. Let me know if I missed something. Maybe I did. I’ve been wrong before.
Last night at the grocery store, I saw a completely unacceptable form of pumpkin:
This time of year pumpkin is everywhere. And it’s not ok. It’s NOT ok. Just say no.
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “You think he might be trying to trap you, huh? You should tell him, ‘I WANT to be here, so in your face.’ That’ll teach him.”—Queen Gen
Thoughts Appear 
September 19th, 2012 at 7:54 am
RIght?! I will have some pumpkin flavored creamer in my pumpkin flavored coffee after I use the bathroom with my pumpkin scented plug in and wash my hands with my pumpkin scented soap. While cooking pumpkin soup and sipping on a pumpkin flavored mojito. aaauuuggghhh
September 19th, 2012 at 8:53 am
Ha ha that cracked me up!
September 19th, 2012 at 8:44 pm
Me too. Hilarious!
September 19th, 2012 at 7:55 am
Shock Top beer has Pumpkin Ale. Dunkin Donuts/Keurig Coffee has the Pumpkin Spice coffee. As for those candies, they are pure evil! Pumpkin soda is just not right.
September 19th, 2012 at 8:02 am
You people are animals! Animals I tells ya! Viva la pumpkin flavored everything!!!!!!!!
September 19th, 2012 at 8:03 am
I like Shipyard Pumpkinhead beer we get up here in Maine. But yeah, you can only have so much pumpkin flavor. I bought some pumpkin spice Green Mountain coffee last week. Made a cup. Tasted it. Spewed it out everywhere. Blech. what was I thinking? It tasted like the goopy insides of a pumpkin.
September 19th, 2012 at 8:16 am
One of my coworkers admitted this week that she had never had pumpkin, an admirably life of purity?
September 20th, 2012 at 11:27 am
She’s my hero. Tell her not to start trying it now.
September 19th, 2012 at 8:29 am
I love any type of pumpkin coffe latte dippy mocha chai thing, and pumpkin pie. I seriously hate those wax pumpkin candies though….what about pumpkin peeps? Aaa and the pumpkin pop tarts? -L
September 20th, 2012 at 11:32 am
I don’t like Peeps. It’s weird because I like marshmallows. The PP Pop-Tarts just make me sad. I don’t like them either.
September 20th, 2012 at 1:45 pm
I like peeps, but ONLY easter ones. I think having them for every season is overkill. -L
September 19th, 2012 at 8:35 am
What I found so funny about your post is that it sorta contradicts my post from last night *sad face*:
http://sandypothier.wordpress.com/2012/09/18/pumpkin-spice/
Tho’ I do love a good pumpkin beverage or pastry, those pumpkin candies you show above don’t look the best. They’re like those crappy candy corns, aren’t they? Yuck.
🙂
September 20th, 2012 at 11:33 am
The trick to the pumpkin candy is only buying the Brachs brand.
September 19th, 2012 at 9:00 am
I do enjoy pumpkin ale and pumpkin spice coffee, but then again, I just like beer and caffeine.
September 19th, 2012 at 9:18 am
Thing 2 (the 6-year-old) was glad to see that Panera has pumpkin muffins again, but pumpkin beer? Pumpkin coffee? Pumpkin pie? That ain’t right.
September 19th, 2012 at 9:48 am
I don’t know about the pumpkin pie soda but the pumpkin beer is good!
September 19th, 2012 at 9:52 am
You’re half right! Pumpkin candy-yes! Pumpkin soda-no! Pumpkin coffee/muffins/bread/pie-HELL YES!
September 19th, 2012 at 10:06 am
I agree! Some things should not be pumpkinaited. Period. Blech.
September 19th, 2012 at 10:23 am
Can you please send pumpkin candies to me at your earliest convenience?
September 20th, 2012 at 11:36 am
One for you, two for me….that’s my motto on candy. Just so you know.
September 19th, 2012 at 10:46 am
NEVER I mean NEVER trust a pumpkin.
September 20th, 2012 at 11:36 am
I agree 100%.
September 19th, 2012 at 11:21 am
Why would anyone make pumpkin soda?! Nobody really likes pumpkins. People just pretend to because adults aren’t allowed to say eeeeeeeeww to vegetables.
September 20th, 2012 at 11:37 am
And that’s why pumpkin pie isn’t right either. Vegetable pie? Not allowed.
September 19th, 2012 at 11:23 am
That soda looks nasty. But we’ve had this discussion before about pumpkin flavoring being abhorrent.
Did you make a pie? Didja, didja?
Oh, and I tried a pumpkin spice bagel from Panera last week. It was actually kinda good. Something about bread products and pumpkin (muffins, munchkins, bagel) go together nicely. Yummy.
September 20th, 2012 at 11:38 am
Maybe I’ll make a pie for Thanksgiving. Maybe. Just to confirm how gross it is.
September 19th, 2012 at 11:34 am
Noooooo!!!! I love pumpkin season! Pumpkin in a can, pumpkin pie, pumpkin bread!! I am so excited, please don’t disown me as a blog friend!
September 20th, 2012 at 11:40 am
We can still be friends. But only if we agree to never speak of your love of pumpkin again.
September 19th, 2012 at 12:05 pm
Agreed, enough with the pumpkins. The word pumpkin doesn’t even look right to me anymore…
But…how about pumpkin pop-tarts?
September 20th, 2012 at 11:41 am
I don’t like the Pop-Tarts either.
And you’re right about the word looking funky. It reminds me of Rumpeltiltskin. And he was a trouble maker.
September 19th, 2012 at 12:09 pm
After pumpkin palooza comes Everything Eggnog Season. Gag.
September 20th, 2012 at 11:42 am
I’m not a fan of eggnog either. Ick.
September 19th, 2012 at 1:27 pm
I just want to eat that picture of those pumpkin candies. I have a serious problem.
September 20th, 2012 at 11:43 am
Me too, my friend. Me too.
September 19th, 2012 at 2:29 pm
It seems like everyone but me is obsessed with the magical time of year that is pumpkin-flavored everything season. I’m neutral on it. You might be the first I’ve “met” that actively dislikes it though.
September 19th, 2012 at 2:32 pm
Sorry, Thoughtsy. I support your fruit-to-froyo theory, but I cannot support this lack of pumpkin love. I’d gladly trade all the pop-tarts in the world (okay, maybe not the brown sugar cinnamon ones) for my baked pumpkin goods – pumpkin pie, pumpkin cream cheese muffins, pumpkin pancakes. You cannot convince me these things are bad. I certainly hope we can still be friends. 🙂
September 20th, 2012 at 11:44 am
We can still be friends. Your love of coconut allows me to overlook your pumpkin confusion.
September 19th, 2012 at 2:40 pm
Haha at least you won’t choke on that pumpkin 😉
Cheers
Choc Chip Uru
September 19th, 2012 at 2:53 pm
Pumpkin is never okay. Especially those disgusting candies that are aspiring to be pumpkins.
Our local microbrewery is releasing a seasonal beer called Funkin Pumpkin on Friday. I won’t drink it, but I am going to watch people try to order it without cussing.
September 20th, 2012 at 11:45 am
That is an interesting name choice.
September 19th, 2012 at 3:07 pm
I know I’ve had pumpkin beer, but I can’t for the life of me remember what it tasted like. That right there ensures I won’t go rushing out to the market for it.
I used to enjoy pumpkin spice lattes, but then I realized I’d feel less overwhelmed by sweetness if I ate a few spoonfuls of sugar, or a bag of sugar pumpkins.
So now, I think I land with you: unless it’s in candy form (or in a yummy Thai dish back at one restaurant in my hometown), I am not especially pro-pumpkin.
September 19th, 2012 at 3:13 pm
I hate pumpkins and they scare me too. I avoid them like the plague.
September 19th, 2012 at 3:32 pm
Until we all stand up against Pumpkin, it will return every year to ruin autumn.
Very proud of you, Rebecca. Keep up the fight. Dad.
September 20th, 2012 at 11:46 am
Anything to make you proud, dearest bestest dad ever. I learned from the best.
September 19th, 2012 at 5:46 pm
So last year I succumbed to pumpkin fever and bought a bottle of pumpkin liqueur, with the intention of making some fantastic fall cocktail.
No. Just no. I must have tried ten different ways to use it, and all were gross. Lesson learned, Thoughtsy, as always you are correct.
September 24th, 2012 at 7:20 am
It’s interesting that even as alcohol pumpkin is no good. Also…work blocked your blog from me, so now I have to wait to get home to read it. Jerks….
September 19th, 2012 at 8:48 pm
When we first bought our house, there was a vegie garden in the backyard that was completely overrun by a pumpkin plant. I mean, it was kind of awesome because I actually like to make pumpkin soup in the winter, but that’s totally normal and not bizarre like pumpkin soda or pumpkin coffee or any of the other weird things you people are saying just to upset me.
But back to my point – we were overrun by pumpkin. So I decided to trim it back a bit. And accidentally trimmed it back waaaay too much and the next time I went outside to look at it, the pumpkin plant had shrivelled up and died.
Brad won’t let me in the garden unsupervised anymore.
September 20th, 2012 at 11:49 am
I kill all plants. But a pumpkin would be the only one I would kill on purpose.
September 19th, 2012 at 9:05 pm
I’m a wacky sort who would love to try those weird varieties of pumpkin and various uses for the veg. I know (I’d be such a tourist!) As for the candy corn, does it taste anything like pumpkin or just plain ole candy???
September 20th, 2012 at 11:50 am
No pumpkin taste in the candy. Just sugar. Maybe a little caramel. I don’t really know what it is, but it is good.
September 19th, 2012 at 9:51 pm
You crack me up. I had some pumpkin pasta the other day that was divine. Is that okay?
September 20th, 2012 at 11:52 am
No! Pumpkin in any form is wrong.
September 20th, 2012 at 10:45 am
NOOOOOOOO! Was that emphatic enough?
September 20th, 2012 at 11:02 am
I am enjoying a pumpkin spice muffin in your honor. 🙂
September 20th, 2012 at 11:56 am
::head shaking::
September 20th, 2012 at 4:02 pm
Those little pumpkins are my favorite! I once bought them all on clearance at a Target (when I was a kid of course) and ate them through new years.
P.S. I was a little over weight back then.
September 20th, 2012 at 4:58 pm
But anything pumpkin and baked is ok, right? Or if it’s covered with chocolate, right? Right?
September 20th, 2012 at 8:37 pm
Ok, now I want to eat those damn little pumpkin candies…AND eat some pumpkin baked goods. Mmmm.
September 21st, 2012 at 12:40 am
I like pumpkin pie. That’s extent of my pumpkin love.
September 21st, 2012 at 10:02 am
I just had a Pumpkin Spice Latte and it was gooooood! Seriously, how can you not like pumpkin bread?
September 24th, 2012 at 7:21 am
I’m not a huge bread person anyways…unless it’s a blueberry muffin.
September 24th, 2012 at 7:03 am
I can get onboard with pumpkin, it’s candy corn that drives me nuts. I just saw a package of Candy Corn flavored Oreos and a small piece of me died.
September 24th, 2012 at 7:22 am
Candy Corn Oreos?!?! I need to try those. I mean…just to taste test….
October 9th, 2012 at 9:58 am
[…] I know all the hip kids are hating on PUMPKIN FLAVORED stuff this year. Perhaps the haters deem pumpkin pie too […]