Watermelon Seed Karma

Last Friday I revealed that I hate watermelon seeds. Even the little white ones you’re allowed to eat. I made removing these seeds a requirement for my future husband, and apparently it has come back to haunt me. Or maybe I’ve just seen a glimpse of my future.

Kiefer and I had a small cookout this weekend, and one of our friends brought her two children, who are adorable. (Even when they repeatedly asked me where my own children were…like 50 times.)

I don’t have any children, but those of you who do can probably attest to the fact that a single parent with two young children barely has any time to eat her own food. So Kiefer and I tried to help out with the little ones so the single mother could actually chew her food before swallowing it.

Cue the watermelon. The little boy took one look at the juicy triangle before pointing to the seeds. He didn’t want to eat them.

This 4-year-old boy and I were one and the same. So I proceeded to use my fork to dig out some of the white seeds for him. So we played pass the watermelon. He took a bite and then handed it back to me to remove more seeds.

Kiefer laughed at me the whole time because he thought I was annoyed.

Well, I wasn’t, so the joke was on him. I didn’t want to eat the seeds either. How could I fault the kids for the same thing?

You take a bite of red, juicy watermelon. Maybe a little juice trickles down your chin. Then you bite into a slimy, hard seed. Watermelon officially ruined.

And that’s when my future flashed before my very eyes. Me, a picky eater, raising a picky eater child. Does pickiness get worse with each generation? What could possibly be worse than removing watermelon seeds?

  • Strawberry seeds. My child will refuse to eat strawberries unless all of those little seeds on the outside have been removed.
  • Corn on the cob. My child will refuse to eat corn on the cob unless every last strand of the silk is removed.
  • Are those nuts in those cookies? That simply won’t do.

What’s that? You say your chicken isn’t cut into perfect squares? The gravy is leaking from the mashed potatoes and is now touching the green beans, and now everything has been contaminated and you’ll need a new plate?!? Madness, I tell you, madness!

I’ll never be able to eat again once I have children. I’d better start stocking up now.

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About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

15 responses to “Watermelon Seed Karma

  • no one of consequence

    ya know they make them seedless versions of watermelons right?

    however your post reminds me of growing up. My brother would not eat anything that touched…and would never NEVER eat anything with onions.

    My kids wont eat corn off the cobb

    As for Watermelon seeds…they serve only one purpose…to spit…for distance give it a try.

    …That and to make new watermelons.

    I guess that’s two purposes

    • thoughtsappear

      The seedless watermelons always still have the white seeds. Or maybe my grocery store is just trying to pass them off as seedless when they’re really not…or mixing them up.

      Love the distance spitting idea! Maybe I could set some kind of record. =)

  • livingdilbert

    I have to say again, so glad I found your blog. I love your expression. Wish I could come up with better words today…just know I love it. SUCH a good post! It made me smile. (I don’t have kids either at this point…)

    • thoughtsappear

      Thanks for the compliment! I was beginning to feel like I’m the only person who doesn’t have kids yet.

      I’m really enjoying your blog, too. Prepare to be assaulted with comments!

  • oc2seattle

    Oh no, another picky eater! 😉 My husband was allowed to indulge his pickiness as a kid and it’s stuck with him making eating out somewhat of a challenge (you never realize how many things have mushrooms in them until you marry a mushroom hater). That said, I don’t eat cherries because I can’t be bothered with the pits and when I was a kid I used to make my mom remove my grapes from “the picks.” I’ve grown out of that last one, luckily 🙂
    BTW, thanks for stopping by my blog, glad to have discovered yours.

  • no one of consequence

    I know a guy who loved tuna, but would not eat fish…then he found out tuna is a fish and hasn’t eaten it since

  • izziedarling

    You funny girl! Love it! Swear on everything, I knew a girl who ate only french fries for about 12 years. That totally freaked all the moms, including hers, but she is still alive and eats all things now. 🙂

  • Emily

    I was a horrible eater as a child. I was unbelievably picky and even at the ripe old age of 23 I still hate it when my food touches on my plate. I try to think of it as charming and adorable rather than annoying and freakish 🙂

    • thoughtsappear

      I hate it when the food on my plate touches, too. Sometimes it even annoys me when the ketchup slides down next to the french fries before I’m ready. OK, not really. Well, maybe really.

  • The Idiot Speaketh

    I am too lazy to deal with watermellon seeds or any other type of fruit or vegetable that has seeds. I am also one of those freaks that loves salsa/hates tomatoes…loves Onion Rings/Hates Onions….Basically hates ALL vegetables but will eat ANY vegetable in Chinese Food….etc.

  • blogmella

    When I was about 4 years old, I had my tonsils out. The hospital served me ice-cream with Smarties on it, to soothe my throat and to be “fun”. I started crying, because “putting sweets (candy) on your dessert is DIRTY!” (I think I meant “just wrong”). My Mum couldn’t help but laugh.

    • thoughtsappear

      Ewww…Ice cream with Smarties? People actually eat those?

      One of my favorite ice cream places serves cotton candy ice cream with marshmallow creme and M&Ms in it. I love cotton candy and I love chocolate, but I’m not sure why anyone would combine them.

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