Category Archives: Life

The Safest Way to Wish Someone a Happy’s Mother’s Day

A few years ago I dreaded going out on Mother’s Day. Miscarriages will do that to you. People assume you’re a mother and then you break down crying and the well-wisher assumes all mothers are crazy and becomes sympathetic to Norman Bates.

Or maybe you’re like me years before that and have a boyfriend who takes forever to propose and when people wish you a “Happy Mother’s Day!” your response is “I’ll never have kids!”

Anyways…the point is there is only one safe way to wish someone a “Happy Mother’s Day!” And it happened to me a few years ago.

Other Person: You’re not a mother, are you? You don’t look old enough to have kids.

I looked plenty old enough to have kids, but still…Best words ever. Then he continued:

Other Person: Well, maybe next year I’ll wish you a Happy Mother’s Day.


Happy Mother’s Day to all you mothers out there! And if you’re not a mother yet, maybe next year will be your year. Besides you don’t look old enough to have kids anyway. Do you even have your driver’s license yet?

#2. Hacking Off All of My Hair

I’ve always worn my hair long…except for two times in my entire life.

The first time I was about 4.  My friend cut her hair short, so I had to do it, too. Then…I cried.

Exhibit A

85_06 02

The second time my hair ended up short unintentionally. I wanted curly hair in 5th grade. And that meant a perm…except my hair ended up crimpy, stinky, and not even shoulder length. I cried…again.

Exhibit B

Removed so I don’t die of embarrassment.

So when I decided to donate my hair, I had to wait until it was long enough that I wouldn’t end up in tears after cutting off 8 inches.

Exhibit C


I heard that Pantene donates a higher percentage of hair, so I donated my hair to them instead of Locks of Love.

Just in time, too, because my hair is turning gray fast.

Checked off another item on the 35 Before 35 list!

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year…Isn’t It?

Two days after Thanksgiving our neighbor knocked on our door to deliver some somber news:

The man who lived two houses down had taken his own life.

Radley had told us he woke up in the middle of the night and saw flashing lights outside his window, but since they were gone in the morning, we didn’t give it a second thought.

We didn’t give it a second thought because we were busy cleaning up Thanksgiving since we hosted for 15 people, and the house was a wreck.

We didn’t give it a second thought because a few months ago the house across the street had an electrical fire and seeing fire trucks, police cars, insurance workers, and contractors had become common.

I used to see our neighbor almost every morning running, but I hadn’t recently, and I didn’t give it a second thought.

I spoke to him briefly over the summer, and he seemed out of it, but I was trying to get Scout to nap so I didn’t give it a second thought.

This time of year it’s easy to get stressed out or caught up in the holiday madness. But stop and give someone a second thought. And if you’re having a rough time, stop and give it a second thought.

Snow White Was Shorter Than Dopey

Because Kiefer and I are Halloween-obsessed, the day Scout was born (maybe the day after), he declared she would be Carlos for Halloween.

No. Just no.

After buying boy things for Boo and Radley for years, I refused to not have a cute girly outfit for her first Halloween.

So we compromised. She was Carlos just long enough to take one picture, and then she was magically transformed…into Snow White.

snow white

Please excuse the picture quality. Trying to get a baby to sit still and look at the camera is hard enough, let alone fix the lighting.

As you can see, Snow White was actually shorter than the dwarves. She also likes Snickers, not poisoned apples.

Applying Lyrics From the 90s to My Life: I Saw the Sign

See what you have to ask yourself is what kind of person are you? Are you the kind that sees signs, that sees miracles? Or do you believe that people just get lucky? Is it possible that there are no coincidences?—Signs

I believe in signs.

I believe there’s a reason I always said, “There’s no way I’m going back to Kiefer…unless he proposes…with a ring…and has tickets to Vegas.” And then…that happened.

I believe there’s a reason Kiefer and I saw this sign in Washington, DC, on a date after he proposed.


Most signs aren’t this clear.

I believe there’s a reason that a week after I said “Yes,” we finally found a new house.

I believe there’s a reason that a couple months after Kiefer’s proposal we got pregnant…and got this cutie pie:


I like putting her in hats that are too big for her. It makes her head look smaller, which makes my nether regions feel better.

Everyone with me now: I believe I can fly…I believe I can touch the sky….

Sorry. My writing made me channel R. Kelly. If you don’t know the song, don’t tell me. It’ll make me feel old.

Do you see signs?

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Those toilets are real time savers though. If you go in with some shampoo, you can squeeze in a quick shower.”—correctionsandclarifications


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