Monday Movie Menagerie: This Post May Save Your Life

Lately, I’ve been watching a lot of movies. I’ve also been falling asleep during a lot of movies, which has made writing a Movies Teach Us post difficult.

Here are the bits and pieces of what I’ve learned from the movies I’ve watched over the past month. Feel free to add your own lessons learned.

Hansel and Gretel

• Never walk into a house made of candy.

Don’t go in. The candy isn’t worth it.

• If you’re going to kill a witch, set her on fire.
• Gretel’s a biter.

Red Dawn

• When stealing supplies, remember the bucket of soda.
• Living Call of Duty isn’t as much fun as playing it.

The Hangover Part 3

• You don’t have to have friends to play Word with Friends.
• Giraffes and bridges don’t mix.

Pretty Woman

• Your arm from your wrist to your elbow is the same size as your foot. (I checked this on myself. It’s true.)

I saved this Wrong Turn 4 for last because…well…I’m not really sure what I was thinking when I watched it. Has any movie that’s made it to #4 ever actually been good?

It did, however, provide a lesson that I’m sure all of us will use some day.

Wrong Turn 4

• When inbred cannibals are killing and eating you and your friends, don’t lock them up. Just kill them. It is not the time to pull the “We can’t kill them. We’re not like them” holier-than-thou stance. They will escape and eat you.