Lately, I’ve been watching a lot of movies. I’ve also been falling asleep during a lot of movies, which has made writing a Movies Teach Us post difficult.
Here are the bits and pieces of what I’ve learned from the movies I’ve watched over the past month. Feel free to add your own lessons learned.
Hansel and Gretel
- Never walk into a house made of candy.
Don’t go in. The candy isn’t worth it.
- If you’re going to kill a witch, set her on fire.
- Gretel’s a biter.
Red Dawn
- When stealing supplies, remember the bucket of soda.
- Living Call of Duty isn’t as much fun as playing it.
The Hangover Part 3
- You don’t have to have friends to play Word with Friends.
- Giraffes and bridges don’t mix.
Pretty Woman
- Your arm from your wrist to your elbow is the same size as your foot. (I checked this on myself. It’s true.)
I saved this Wrong Turn 4 for last because…well…I’m not really sure what I was thinking when I watched it. Has any movie that’s made it to #4 ever actually been good?
It did, however, provide a lesson that I’m sure all of us will use some day.
Wrong Turn 4
- When inbred cannibals are killing and eating you and your friends, don’t lock them up. Just kill them. It is not the time to pull the “We can’t kill them. We’re not like them” holier-than-thou stance. They will escape and eat you.
Thoughts Appear 
March 3rd, 2014 at 8:11 am
>>Lately, I’ve been watching a lot of movies. I’ve also been falling asleep during a lot of movies, <<
Welcome to motherhood!
March 3rd, 2014 at 11:38 am
I’m gonna be a pro then since I fell asleep during movies even before I was pregnant.
March 3rd, 2014 at 9:25 am
It’s wonderful how you are benefiting from Motherhood while nursing. When I was nursing, I watched Murder She Wrote reruns and learned never to invite Angela Landsbury to my house since a murder is committed everywhere she goes.
March 3rd, 2014 at 11:39 am
I need a new series to watch. Is that on Netflix? =)
March 3rd, 2014 at 2:28 pm
I’m sure it is everywhere!
March 3rd, 2014 at 9:59 am
LOL, I love that, bits of movie wisdom picked up when not really paying attention.
I’ve learned a few things from scary movies. If some psycho is trying to break into your house, don’t go investigate in your sexiest lingerie, walking right past four perfectly good weapons. If you arrive outside in a thick fog hearing spooky noises, just go back in the house. If you have the misfortune of encountering the psycho, don’t throw your cell phone at his head. By the time you start screaming hysterically, we’re all rooting for the bad guy.
March 3rd, 2014 at 11:40 am
What movie did someone throw a cell phone at the killer’s head? I started rooted for the bad guy in a movie once because the girl’s screams were so annoying. I think it was called The Catacombs or something. It took place in the tunnels under Paris.
March 3rd, 2014 at 12:04 pm
Of course you could resist a house made of candy. But how resolute will you be should you face a house made of pop tarts?
March 3rd, 2014 at 4:45 pm
I think it is worth burning a witch to eat a house made of candy 😀
Cheers
Choc Chip Uru
March 3rd, 2014 at 4:54 pm
That last lesson about the cannibals is sure to come in handy practically every day of my life. Thanks.
March 3rd, 2014 at 9:18 pm
“Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.” Animal House. I suspect we should all shoot for two out of three.
March 4th, 2014 at 12:57 pm
We were flipping around this past weekend and came across what I believe to be Cowboys vs. Aliens. I have no way to confirm this, but am only guessing based on the fact that everyone was in Wild West garb, and then James Bond shot some guy with a fancy schmancy laser arm cannon or something. That is the entirety of the part of the movie we watched, and what I learned was this . . . “don’t call her a whore.”
March 5th, 2014 at 1:30 am
Never walking into a house made of candy is a lesson I learned long ago. Thanks for all the others. You never know when the size from your wrist to your elbow will come in handy.
March 5th, 2014 at 3:08 am
*cough* Die Hard, Lethal Weapon, Harry Potter *cough*
March 5th, 2014 at 4:52 pm
Wait. Someone actually authorized the making of The Hangover 3? The Armageddon is surely upon us — and not the kind that brings Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck.
March 5th, 2014 at 8:45 pm
HELLLL NO to that first movie…no.
March 10th, 2014 at 10:06 am
I remember just staring at the tv screen while nursing in the middle of the night not even realizing what I was watching. 🙂