When Kiefer and I first started dating, Radley was 5. He was a cutie who always wanted me to carry him or let him sit in my lap.
We may or may not have also been into matching the color of our shirts.
And then one time, Radley farted…while he was in my lap.
I told him it would be great if he could stand up next time. So from then on, randomly he would pop off my lap, take a few steps away, fart, and then climb back into my lap.
It was hilarious.
In addition to farting-lapsitting etiquette, Radley also had no idea what sarcasm was.
Kiefer: Thoughtsy, look! A pumpkin scone!
Thoughtsy: My favorite!
Radley: Wait…I thought you didn’t like pumpkin?
Now Radley’s almost 11, and he loves sarcasm.
Radley: Now don’t eat my pumpkin pie, Thoughtsy. I know how much you love it.
Not only has he mastered sarcasm, he’s also mastered the pun:
Radley busts in on Boo while he’s in the bathroom. Screaming and laughing commences. Then…
Radley: Dad, I think I broke the bathroom door knob! I think it needs to be screwed back in.
Kiefer: Stop screwing around up there! (This pun was completely unintentional.)
Radley: Nice one, Dad. I see what you did there. Screw. Ha-ha!
Radley still has a lot to learn though.
Radley: I want to be Michael Myers or Jason for Halloween.
A couple weeks later when Kiefer and I were watching Halloween…
Radley: Who is that guy?
Obviously, we’ve spent too much time on word play and not enough time watching horror movies.
Got any kid stories to share? They don’t have to be your kids.
December 4th, 2013 at 8:47 am
Oh man, 8 is getting SOOOOO good at sarcasm. Too good, really. Then again, he was doomed from the start based on genetics. I’m just hoping he will grow really big so as to handle all the threatened beatings he will get from being such a smartass.
December 4th, 2013 at 9:03 am
It’s all in the delivery Misty! I’ve never been punched in my face and that fact amazes my wife every time I open my mouth. Lol.
December 4th, 2013 at 9:07 am
Love the matching shirts! I don’t know why your farting story reminded me of this, since the only similarity is bodily discharge, but we were in Florida several years ago and my dad taught my daughter that it was ok for her to pee in the pool and the ocean, but that it was not ok for her to tell anybody so they called it their secret. Literally. Ace would swim up to me and say, “I have a secret, daddy.” I’d wait for her to say something but she’d just stand there then swim off. Dad finally filled me in on their disgusting arrangement and it all made sense eventually.
December 4th, 2013 at 9:17 am
My four yr old daughter is all about poop. Just saying the word will send her in to a fit of laughter that makes it difficult for me to tell her to knock off the potty mouth. Along with poop, she is very in to farts. However, she is hilariously aware that no one wants to be the one who dealt it. All of a sudden she will let out a fart and then say “DADDY, that was NASTY!” or “Wow Trenton (1yr old lil bro) that was a big fart for a little guy”. It’s honestly hysterically funny. That’s just how our family rolls though. I don’t know why I am surprised at all by this really.
December 4th, 2013 at 9:34 am
I was babysitting my nephews a few years back and they were playing a kind of indoor soccer game. The older one, crouches down, hands on knees, and says to his (7 years) younger brother, “OK, show me what you’ve got.”
Little one turns around, bends over and drops a loud fart.
Hence, the older one learned to be more specific when talking to his brother.
December 4th, 2013 at 11:10 am
I don’t hang with kids much these days, but the ones that say funny things get top spot in my schedule.
December 4th, 2013 at 11:36 am
Haha this is cute. I remember when I sat my nieces and nephews down to teach them the intricate art of sarcasm… Their parents weren’t exactly appreciative, ha.
December 5th, 2013 at 3:11 pm
Ahahhaha. All boys do is fart and talk about farting. But it’s so much worse when you are in the car and can’t escape it.
December 7th, 2013 at 7:39 pm
Smart kid that Radley. As long as you’re introducing him to horror flicks, work in a little Alfred Hitchcock too. After all, Psycho, The Birds, Frenzy, they all have good elements of horror.