Amusement Park time! Where’s that Six Flags old guy when you need him?Here’s a list of rides I refuse to ride because I tend to get motion sickness. And I’m dreadfully afraid I’ll pee my pants.
- Rides That Go in Circles
- Rides With Sudden Drops
- All Rollercoasters, especially…
- Hurler (No explanation needed.)
- Ricochet (“Guests hang on tight for 3 minutes of wild fun!” Or in my case “Guests hang on tight for 3 minutes of terror!”)
“But rollercoasters are fun,” you say. No. No, they’re not. You’re mistaken.
When you look at a rollercoaster, this is what you see.
As if that’s not terrifying enough, when I look at a rollercoaster, this is what I see.
There are some rides that I enjoy riding.
Last year I went to Kings Dominion with Kiefer, Boo, and Radley. I waited while they got on the rollercoaster, and a lady struck up a conversation with me.
Her: Not a fan of rollercoasters?
Me: No. They make me sick.
Her: Me, too. It’s because of babies. Pregnancy messes up your equilibrium. I used to love rollercoasters, but I can’t do it anymore. So you have two children?
Me: Yes…(::looking around::) yes, I do.
To the lady at Kings Dominion, here’s my confession: I lied. Boo and Radley aren’t mine. Pregnancy didn’t mess up my equilibrium. I’m just a wuss.
If I don’t ride the rides, why go to amusement parks?
Food. It’s all about the food. Where else is it socially acceptable to eat cotton candy, a funnel cake, a sno-cone, a chocolate chip cookie smore, and french fries all in the same day?