Chapter 2: Don’t Shout “Earmuffs!”

This is my third post summarizing Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. If you didn’t read the first two posts, you might want to at least read the warning in this post.

Complaints and Expectations

  • When woman complain, they want empathy, not solutions.
  • When men complain, they want acceptance, not solutions.

Why doesn’t anyone want solutions to their problems? People are weird.

Women’s Instincts and Mistakes

Instincts: Women put their relationships first, and they nurture them. Men, we do this because we care about you, not because we’re trying to control you.

Mistakes: None. Just kidding. Women talk too much. By offering a solution, you just reminded a man that he can’t do it by himself. And that makes him feel broken.

Worst Thing Women Say: “You should call a plumber. He’ll know what to do.”

Men’s Instincts and Mistakes

Instincts: Men feel worth through their achievements. That means he likes to put on his big boy undies, a tool belt, and do it himself.

Mistakes: Because men ask for advice (from a pro) only when they are truely stuck, they assume women do the same. Guys, women don’t necessarily want advice. They just want you to listen. Let’s face it, nothing is so simple that it can be solved with “Just do this….”

Worst Thing Men Say: “I’m sorry. Now can we just forget it?”

Lessons Learned

Men: Put your listening ears on, not your ear muffs. When women complain, just listen. Don’t offer a solution unless she asks for it.

One of the Bestest Scenes from One of My Favoritest Movies

Women: Shut up! When men complain, just listen. Don’t offer any advice unless he asks for it.

Men and Women: Never offer solutions.

Wait…I thought this book was supposed to prove how men and women are different. False advertising!

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About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

15 responses to “Chapter 2: Don’t Shout “Earmuffs!”

  • Tony Vote

    You’re going to have to read this book faster. It’s getting good and I don’t want to wait too long. Lol, just kiddin. You’re doing a great job though. I always wanted to read this book but never wanted to be seen reading it. Anyway, I’ll be anticipating the next installment.

    • thoughtsappear

      You’re in luck! I’m currently on Chapter 7, so now I’m just typing up posts. The book is due back at the library on the 24th, so I’ll have to finish it by then. =)

    • Kat

      This book is amazingly funny. I have bought this book and read it for my own pleasure. It’s worth the expense, my learning tool. It helped me understood my brother more now than I used to before.

      Angie, thanks making the effort to share this with the world. I am currently working on a piece, similar to this but with more intensity and weight. I shall notify you when it’s posted.
      Bonne chance my friend, give my regards to Kiefer!

  • Abby

    I always feel kind of disappointed when I complain about something to a good guy friend and he gives me all this advice… makes me feel very inadequate for some reason. This sounds like a great book!

    • thoughtsappear

      According to the book, you just want to vent and want your guy friends to listen, not give advice. And guys only talk when they need advice, so they assumed you were doing the same thing. Don’t feel inadequate!

    • Kat

      Hei Abby, men always love the thought when their female friends consult with them. I know I have a husband who lives his life for his female friends. The fact is that, men feel powerful when a woman runs to them for help (regardless of the matter) they have the need to be that draconian devil type of guy. Men wants to be adored, so they feed on womens weekness when they (friends) vent out to them. However, I haven’t found a man who follow his own advice. They will be this great guy for any woman who tells them their problems, he will tell her what she wants to hear, and she praises him and wishes he’s her man. That is the power they crave for in every woman, to be the best in her life. (but they all suck at it..lol)

      • TonyVote

        hey, hey hey, not entirely true. you cannot speak for all men here. You are right about the fact that men feel powerful when women run to them for help. It makes them feel a bit “macho” so to say, but as far as men not taking their own advice…I do most of the time, but I end up taking my own advice after I give it. Someone will ask me for advice on a certain situation, and I’ll think to myself, you know what…that’s actually not a bad idea. Which also makes you right about something else you mentioned, being the guy who will tell them what they want to hear.

  • blogmella

    I’ve been in a car with a man for an HOUR, driving around LOST and he still wouldn’t ask for directions.

  • Amy

    LOVE “earmuffs!”
    Well, now I know why my husband gets miffed with me when he complains about his job and I say, “Well then just quit and find another one.” I offered a solution. Now, I’ll know better next time!
    Looking forward to the next installment . . .

  • pattypunker

    i love roller coasters. but i also like those swings that go round and round. and the butterflies i get on the pirate ship. holla!

    love the pics!

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