At 5:04 AM my shaking, rattling, and rolling bed woke me up. When I first wake up, I’m always extremely disoriented. You know when some people are awakened unexpectedly, they sit straight up in bed fully alert. Yeah, that’s not me.
When I first wake up, I’m generally like, “Waaaaait…what…the…hell….”
So when an earthquake struck (Is struck the right word here? Quaked? Shook?) Maryland at 5:04 this morning, and here’s what I thought:
- Godzilla is attacking!
- The aliens are taking me! Please don’t use the probe!
- A giant David Zinczenko (Honey, I Blew Up the Kids style) read my blog and is coming to eat me. Eat this! Not that!
- I’m about to be possessed by a demon. Maybe those hot Supernatural brothers will save me.
- Maybe it’s just an angry ghost. I’ll still need those hot Supernatural brothers.
Next is my high point of coherency.
- Did we just have an earthquake? What do I do? Duck and cover? Stop, drop, and roll? Nah…We don’t have earthquakes in Maryland.
Then sleep starts to take over again.
- Maybe it was just vibrations of my neighbor’s surround sound.
- A redneck just drove by in his stupid and loud truck.
- My cat Esme jumped up on the bed and caused the bed to shake for 10-15 seconds. Maybe it’s time to put her on a diet.
The earthquake was a 3.6. To some of you more experienced earthquakeans in California, you’re probably thinking, “3.6? That’s nothing.”
But in Maryland, we don’t have earthquakes, so it’s something.
I think the LA Times covered the story just to laugh at all of us here on the East Coast.
Just you wait, California. One day you’ll get a few inches of snow, and the East Coast will just sit back and chuckle.