You Call That an Earthquake?

At 5:04 AM my shaking, rattling, and rolling bed woke me up. When I first wake up, I’m always extremely disoriented. You know when some people are awakened unexpectedly, they sit straight up in bed fully alert. Yeah, that’s not me.

When I first wake up, I’m generally like, “Waaaaait…what…the…hell….”

So when an earthquake struck (Is struck the right word here? Quaked? Shook?) Maryland at 5:04 this morning, and here’s what I thought:

  • Godzilla is attacking!

  • The aliens are taking me! Please don’t use the probe!
  • A giant David Zinczenko (Honey, I Blew Up the Kids style) read my blog and is coming to eat me. Eat this! Not that!
  • I’m about to be possessed by a demon. Maybe those hot Supernatural brothers will save me.
  • Maybe it’s just an angry ghost. I’ll still need those hot Supernatural brothers.

Next is my high point of coherency.

  • Did we just have an earthquake? What do I do? Duck and cover? Stop, drop, and roll? Nah…We don’t have earthquakes in Maryland.

Then sleep starts to take over again.

  • Maybe it was just vibrations of my neighbor’s surround sound.
  • A redneck just drove by in his stupid and loud truck.
  • My cat Esme jumped up on the bed and caused the bed to shake for 10-15 seconds. Maybe it’s time to put her on a diet.

The earthquake was a 3.6. To some of you more experienced earthquakeans in California, you’re probably thinking, “3.6? That’s nothing.”

But in Maryland, we don’t have earthquakes, so it’s something.

I think the LA Times covered the story just to laugh at all of us here on the East Coast.

Just you wait, California. One day you’ll get a few inches of snow, and the East Coast will just sit back and chuckle.

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About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

140 responses to “You Call That an Earthquake?

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