Dear Not-Too-Distant-Future Husband (aka Kiefer),
Since I started blogging, I’ve mentioned qualities that you need to possess. I’ve compiled everything into this post for easier access. You’re welcome.
First, make sure you read the 10 Commandments of My Future Boyfriend. Don’t ever forget them.
To advance to the husband stage, here are a few things you should know about me.
- I want a baby girl, not a boy.
- Although I have a high tolerance for pain, I freak out about the prospect of pain, so prepare for permanent hand-squeezing damage during labor.
- I cry about everything (sometimes to get my way).
- If I get upset and cry, hug me. I’ll be snotty and gross, but it’ll make the crying stop.
- The last cookie is always mine. Unless it has nuts. Then it’s yours.
Remember all of these, Future Husband, and we will get along just fine.
PS: I reserve the right to add anything awesome that other people include in the comments.
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Thoughtsy’s beauty secrets – ‘I glue my left over monobrow to my eyelashes’ brilliant.”—Daile