Operation Pickle Juice Is a Go

Throughout the entire pregnancy, Kiefer’s been like:

• “We have plenty of time.”
• “There’s over 3 months left.”
• “There’s still 2 months left.”

Next up will probably be, “You’ve hit 40 weeks. I’m sure she’s staying in another week or two. We have time.”

The only thing Kiefer isn’t procrastinating on is getting a new car. My 2-door Civic isn’t going to work once the baby arrives. It barely works now when I drive with Boo and Radley.

We have 7 weeks left. Seven!

To shake him up a little, I decided to take Darla’s suggestion and implement Operation Pickle Juice.

If I give him a shot of Jameson before and immediately after, I think my prank will be better received by Kiefer.

1. Find pickles in back of refrigerator. I haven’t craved them since the first trimester.
2. Pour out some of the juice being careful to leave some pickles and juice for future cravings.
3. Splash pickle juice all over my crotch, down my leg, and onto the floor.
4. Scream at the top of my lungs so Kiefer runs into the kitchen and thinks my water has broken.
5. Pray that he thinks it’s funny after I show him it’s just pickle juice.
6. Call Ozzy into the kitchen to lick the floor so I don’t have to clean it up.

Only one question remains: Should I use Dill or Bread and Butter pickle juice?

Wish me luck!

Please free to leave SUV suggestions in the comments.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “We don’t have any unicorns in our neighborhood, so I tried recipe #1 with my cats. The results were disappointing.”—Laura