My Dog: The Snowman Assassin

This week Ozzy and I spent a lot of quality time together walking in the snow.

Every time we passed a snowman, he became cautious. He’d switch sides so he’d be between me and the snowman, and he’d walk next to me as he stared the snowman down. After we passed, he’d even throw back a glance or two to make sure we weren’t being followed.

He didn’t discriminate either: lawn ornaments or snowman actually made of snow got the same treatment.

And then Ozzy took it to the next level. Maybe it was because…

  • It was still dark.
  • The snowman had a tasty carrot nose.
  • The snowman had “fetching” stick arms. (Bwahaha! I crack myself up.)
  • Ozzy watched the movie Jack Frost, which is about a killer snowman.

But Ozzy actually lunged at the snowman. Luckily, the snowman was unharmed.

Ozzy doesn’t have a mean bone in his body, so I’m sure he just wanted to play, but still….

So later that day, Ozzy and I played in the snow. He pranced in the snow and chased snowballs. Then I decided to build a snowman for Ozzy to play with.

Do not play with snowballs and then build a snowman. Ozzy just assumed I was making giant snowballs for him to eat and crush.

Here’s how the first 3 attempts ended:


You can see Ozzy dashing off after crushing the snowball base. Jerk….

 Only after Ozzy was sufficiently exhausted was a snowman allowed to stay.


You’re only still here because I’m too tired to eat you. Tomorrow, you’re mine.

Next Day Followup: I’m sad to report that the snowman you see above is no longer…although I suspect Radley was Ozzy’s accomplice in the demise.

Favorite Comments From Last Post:

  • “It appears you are misunderstanding this “nesting instinct” thing. You don’t have to clean anything – just get a bunch of sticks together.”—Pegoleg
  • “Your position on the changing table and crib is absolutely reasonable, especially because, if those items are anything like my Ikea furniture, it is going to take him at least 4 weeks and 47 beers to assemble them. Chop chop, Kiefer, chop chop.”—PinotNinja

About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

9 responses to “My Dog: The Snowman Assassin

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