What’s Next? Cupcake-Flavored Bacon?

It’s Taste Test Tuesday again! Have you noticed the influx of cupcake-flavored and cake-flavored food? I taste tested all of it.

A local fudge and ice cream shop has cupcake ice cream. A few weeks ago, Kiefer let me try a bite of his, and I demanded we return so I could get my own.

It’s a little melty because SOMEONE (ahem Kiefer) took forever to choose a flavor.

Thoughtsy: I’d like the cupcake ice cream in a cup. Extra sprinkles please.

Scooper: Have you tried it? Because a lot of people don’t like it.

Kiefer: She’s tried it. Why don’t people like it?

Scooper: A lot of people think it’s too sweet.

Kiefer and Thoughtsy:  Too sweet? BWAHAHAHAHA!

That’s right. I live in a town of amateurs.

I should also mention that Dairy Queen’s Blizzard of the Month is Confetti Cake. Maybe I just got a bad one, but there was hardly any cake in it. FAIL!

And last, but not least, the food that holds a special place in my heart: Confetti Cake Pop-Tarts. Mmmmm….

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “What’s the big deal? I’ve got that exact same outfit.”—Skipping Stones

Say Cheese and Wedgies!

Pop quiz, hot shot! You see someone dressed like the pic below. What do you do? What…do…you…do? (A gold star for anyone who gets the movie reference.)

For the love of God, pick your wedgie!

Hopefully, you answered in one of two ways:

1. Whip out your camera and snap a picture.
2. Stall, stall, stall the specimen while you call Misty to tell her you have an excellent specimen for Weekly Whacked.

I’m working on developing (BWAHAHAHA!) my camera skills, so I don’t have to bother Misty. In the past, when I’ve seen someone dressed funny, I whip out my camera, and then…I chicken out.

Luckily, I got some practice at the Warrior Dash, where people tend to run the obstacle-filled 5k in costumes.

I saw fairies:

Clap your hands so Tinkerbell doesn’t die in the fire!

Some ladies turned it into a formal occasion. Bad idea, ladies! Dresses will hold a lot of mud and weigh you down!

I missed the women running in their wedding dresses.

If you don’t want to run the Warrior Dash, you can “Jump On It” and dance the Tonto like Papa Smurf.

Papa Smurf doing the Tonto dance.

I also saw Ironic Mom’s babysitter.

Cat in the Hat…but I don’t see Thing 1 and Thing 2.

 Favorite Comment From Last Post: “I got the audio book and pretended we were hanging out in the car and Jenny was telling me a story. That’s kind of as weird as showing/not showing her your shirt, right?”—The Suniverse

Let’s Pretend This Never Happened

“That’s the good thing about hanging out with bloggers. Most of them are kind of f-cked up in the same way you are.”—The Bloggess

Have you read any posts by The Bloggess? Have you read her book: Let’s Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson?

On Sunday Misty (go to her blog for autographed stuff)  and I met The Bloggess. Here’s how it went down:

Thoughtsy: Oh my gosh, it’s so nice to meet you!

Jenny: It’s nice to meet you! What’s in the gift bag? Alcohol? Kittens?

Thoughtsy: Kitten-related stuff. And a shirt like mine so we can be twinsies. Sooooo…do you like my shirt?

That last part is not true. I tug on my shirt when I’m nervous…it’s my Mary Catherine Gallagher nervous trait.

Hi, I’m Thoughtsy. You’re awesome. Please accept this humble offering. BTW…Do you like my shirt?

If you haven’t read Jenny’s book, you should. It’s been on the New York Times Bestseller’s List for a month. If you’re still not convinced, maybe some bullets Movies-Teach-Us-style will persuade you.

Here’s what I learned from the book:

• Star Wars is not a documentary.
• Bobcats make good house pets.
• “Intestines” is French for “poop rope.”
• Feral cats are actually vampire cougars.
• Drugs make your boobies fall off.
• Licking wine off your arm is classy.

Well, Jenny, you’ve just met the classiest person to ever walk the earth.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “So glad I didn’t have to read that headline and say, ‘Oh, I knew Thoughtsy, and this is a set up…she would NEVER pee in the woods!’ Glad you lived to tell the tale yourself!”—Suzicate

When You Gotta Go, You Gotta Go

On Saturday, Kiefer and some friends ran the Warrior Dash; I did not. Because I don’t like mud. Or wet shoes and socks.

Look at how much mud is on Kiefer. ::shudder:: 

No, Kiefer, you will not be receiving a finish line hug from me.

Once we parked, people kept walking by us into the woods. Thinking it was a short cut to the starting line, I headed in to scope it out.

Only it wasn’t a shortcut…it was a bathroom. And not just for guys, women were doing it, too.

Thoughtsy: (running back to Kiefer whispering) Oh my god, people are peeing in there!

That’s when I realized I had to pee. So I had a choice: Wait in a long line at nasty port-a-potties, or drop my pants behind a tree.

I opted for the tree. Because I didn’t want to be seen pantsless To be polite, I waited for everyone else to vacate the woods before heading in.

Do I really want to do this? I can’t even remember the last time I peed in the woods. Why break a 20-year-plus streak? 

Maybe I should ask someone to come with me? Girls pee in pairs, right? And this seems like a horror movie. What if there’s a crazed killer in these woods? I can’t run away with pants around my ankles. I can see the headline now: Blogger Dies In Her Own Pee.

Ewwww…wet grass just touched my ankle. DID SOMEONE ELSE’S PEE JUST GET ON ME?!?! Please be dew, please just be dew…. 

Finally, I did it: I peed behind a tree. Then some lady came traipsing into the woods, so I cut it short. At least my bladder was half empty (this is the only time “half empty” is optimistic).

Afterwards, my only comfort was Kiefer. He’s hoping to go camping soon, and my only input into the trip has been: “There has to be a bathroom and shower.”

Kiefer: I can’t believe you did that. I’m so proud of you. I’m seriously impressed. You just made my day.

I think he’s potty training me to go camping.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Serves them right for eating healthy dessert.”—Miss Four Eyes

When Dessert Attacks

Hi. My name is Thoughtsy, and I’m addicted to sweets.

It’s so good to finally admit that. Keeping it a secret has been such a burden.

To help break my dessert addiction, I watched the movie The Stuff. I thought it might scare some sense into me.

Dessert strikes back.

This movie is about a new dessert that’s healthy, so people start eating lots of it, and then the dessert takes over everyone’s minds.

Here’s what I learned:

• Never eat something that bubbles out of the ground.
• Beware of any product with advertisements featuring models wearing swimsuits and fur coats.
• No normal person needs dessert at 2:30 AM. Not even me.
• Eating shaving cream will make you puke.
• The Stuff is like a tick. Burn it with a match and it’ll release you.

Fvaorite Comment From Last Post: “Wow. You must REALLY feel bad about him leaving. You gave him your poptart?? Oh Thoughtsy. I hope he realizes how much you must TRULY love him! I don’t think Keifer has ever even gotten your poptart. Right?”—Misty’s Laws