Tag Archives: You Throw Like a Girl

How Not to Ski

Kiefer and I are going to Wisp for hot chocolate skiing this weekend. I’ve never been skiing, but  I’ve heard getting on and off the lift is tricky.

So I decided to watch Frozen for some tips. Frozen is about 3 skiers who get stuck on a ski lift.

After watching the movie, I really don’t think it’s very accurate. Here’s why:

  • When it starts snowing, the ski resort closes. Isn’t snow ideal weather for skiing?
  • Shawn Ashmore starts to get frostbite. But he’s Iceman from the X-Men! Iceman doesn’t get frostbite.
  • Wolves eat someone. Wolves don’t eat people; they sit on their laps.

Despite the inaccuracies, I did learn a few things:

  • When Dee Snider says, “The last chair is through,” don’t believe him.
  • Don’t jump to the ground from the ski lift. Snow looks fluffy, but it’s not that fluffy.
  • Don’t count on the girl to throw anything. She throws like a girl.
  • Don’t touch the metal bar because you’ll freeze to it. (I think we all learned this from A Christmas Story.)

The most important thing I learned was that if you’re stuck on a ski lift, your best option is to unscrew the bolt. The chair will drop several feet, but a safety cable will keep it from hitting the ground. Once the chair has dropped, you’re at a safe level to jump from.

I probably just saved your life. You’re welcome.

So…like I said…I’m going to a ski resort this weekend to ski drink hot chocolate.