Tag Archives: Yogi Castle Chronicles

I’m in Your Fridge…Stealing Your Fruit

Remember Ddot? He’s the fruit-but-no-chocolate-on-frozen-yogurt offender.*

Did you see what he did? He taunted all of us in the comments. Are you gonna let him get away with that?

And now he’s sending me evidence of each fruit infraction. He sent me this the other night:

Exhibit A: Note the lack of chocolate and the abundance of fruit on his ice cream.

He’s rubbing my nose in his fruity ice cream…. Let’s get him.

I can think of only one solution: Stealing all the fruit from his fridge and leaving this ransom note:

I used cut outs because I don't want this note to be traced back to me....

Obviously,  the note will be more intimidating when it’s not laying on my heart blanket.

*The Yogi Castle incident was actually his second offense. Ddot did the same thing when we got ice cream in San Antonio.


What Is the Acceptable Chocolate-to-Fruit Ratio?

The other day I dragged a coworker with me  to Yogi Castle…on my lunch break. I swear it’s not an addiction. I can stop any time I want.

My yogurt was covered in chocolate and candy. My coworker’s (let’s call him Todd Ddot) yogurt was covered in fruit…no chocolate. ::Gasp!::

Ddot broke Rule #1.

Rule #1: The healthy toppings should never outweigh the yogurt.

Ddot was my inspiration for Rule #2.

Rule #2: Never add fruit to yogurt. (This makes Rule #1 null and void.)

The other day Kiefer started adding strawberries to his yogurt, and I immediately started to scold him.

Me: You’re breaking Rule #2! I don’t even know who you are anymore….

Kiefer: Is that strawberry syrup on yours?

Me: Like there are any real strawberries in that syrup. Stay away from me. I don’t even want to be seen with you…. Wait…you’re still paying for me, right?

So Kiefer and I compromised and added Rule #3.

Rule #3: There must be more chocolate than fruit on your yogurt.

Rule #3 is like a loophole for you weird people who like a cherry on top. Kiefer has been kind enough to provide examples for you.

Exhibit A

As you can see here, Kiefer started to eat Exhibit A before I could snap a pic. We’re not holding that against him though since he made the fruit sacrifice.

Although Kiefer added strawberries, the brownie bites, chocolate syrup, and chocolate yogurt make up for the fruit.

Exhibit B

Once again, Kiefer added strawberries. I’m trying to not gag overlook that those strawberries are on mint yogurt. Ewwww….

Anyways, the point is that the M&Ms, chocolate chips, chocolate syrup, and mini-caramel turtles definitely outnumber the strawberries.


Am I the Stinky Kid?

Dear Yogi Castle,

Kiefer and I frequent our local Yogi Castle…well…frequently. They know us there. We get free drinks. We I have a nickname. We’re regulars.

Despite our constant patronage, I’m concerned. Concerned about a frozen yogurt crisis. Concerned about my well being and sanity.

I’m concerned that Yogi Castle may go the route of some of our other “regular” places.

Borders

RIP Cocoa Trio. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss its warm chocolatey goodness. Borders went out of business despite our constant hot chocolate patronage.

Ever since, Kiefer and I haven’t been able to find a place for us to be regulars.

TGI Friday’s

Kiefer and I used love their sangria. We went there every Sunday. Then they changed their sangria recipe, and now it tastes icky.

Patrick’s

Kiefer and I used to visit a local Irish pub for the best cream of crab soup ever. And then…they changed the recipe. WHY?! Is it me? Am I not using enough deodrant? Dear God, am I the stinky kid? (::sniffing underarm::)

Yogi Castle

So far, so good. There are several flavors there that I like: cookies and cream, strawberry, cake batter, and pralines and cream. But there are also flavors I dislike: pumpkin, mint….

I noticed the Coming Soon flavor is Green Tea. Ewww….

My worst fear would be to walk into Yogi Castle and see only these flavors: Green Tea, Peppermint Stick, Coffee, Pumpkin, Mint, Coffee, Gingerbread, Eggnog, Banana, and Watermelon.

Please don’t let it come to that. I’m begging you to not end our relationship.

If I’m the stinky kid, just tell me. I’ll wear more Jelly Belly Blueberry Muffin perfume.

I’ll do anything. Seriously.

 Your Best Customer,

Thoughtsy

PS: While perusing your website, I noticed two flavors that aren’t at my local Yogi Castle: Mounds Chocolate Coconut and Angel Food Cake. Please send mass quantities. Thanks in advance.

What are your favorite or most hated flavors?


My Superhero Name: Syrup Girl

Yogi Castle Visit #31

Cashier: Are you ready to weigh your yogurt?

Thoughtsy: Need…more…toppings….

Cashier: That’s right. You’re the syrup girl.

Thoughtsy: Oh yeah? Well, you’re…you’re…you’re the…cash register…girl.

True story. Except for my awesome comeback. Actually the girl was really nice, so I didn’t need a comeback.

I use a lot of syrup for one reason: I don’t like chocolate frozen yogurt.

I can’t quite put my finger on why. 

  • Maybe because it’s low fat.
  • Maybe it’s not chocolatey enough.
  • Maybe because it’s not really ice cream.
  • Maybe I’m returning to my roots: I was always a vanilla girl growing up.

Whatever the reason…it creates a problem: Because I need chocolate to live. Undisputed scientific fact.

Because I need chocolate to live, I need to add chocolate to my yogurt in the form of toppings. 

Exhibit A: Pralines and Cream Yogurt, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, Chocolate Syrup, and Caramel Syrup

Don't be fooled. There's a moat of syrup around that yogurt.

So call me Syrup Girl if you want…I’ll wear it as a badge of honor. That chocolate syrup is keeping me alive to fight blog another day.

Now I just need someone to make me a special outfit that will squirt syrup at my enemies. When an enemy tries to attack, I can squirt syrup…

  • In his eyes to blind him.
  • At his feet so he slips and falls.
  • All over his hands so he can’t hold this gun.

I’d also like the superhero outfit to…

  • Be black to hide stains and be more slimming.
  • Push up my cleavage.
  • Be made of a breathable material. I am get hot.
  • Look good with knee high boots.
  • Include a special wet nap pocket…in case I get syrup on my fingers.

The Frozen Yogurt Nazi

I told you that Kiefer and I visit Yogi Castle so much that the manager knows us and gives us free water.

But that’s Kiefer’s version. Kiefer thinks we got free water because we’re regulars.

That’s not what I think. I’ll lay out some of our Yogi Castle history, and then you decide who’s right.

After we visited Yogi Castle a couple times…

Kiefer: That guy is always here.

Thoughtsy: ::trying to choose between Cake Batter and Cookies N’ Cream and ultimately deciding on both:: What guy?

Kiefer: That guy behind the toppings. I think he’s the manager.

Thoughtsy: ::head perks up at the word “toppings”:: Uh-huh….

Kiefer: He never smiles.

Thoughtsy: So he’s like the Soup Nazi? ::adding toppings so cup is 33% yogurt and 66% toppings::

I only add the sprinkles to make it pretty.

The manager was standing right behind the white chocolate, strawberry, chocolate, caramel, vanilla, and peanut butter syrups.

Cautiously, I reached forward to grab the caramel. I kept my eyes locked with the manager’s the entire time. Was he going to swat my hand away?

No more toppings for you!

My fingers curled around the bottle. Success! I smiled. 

The manager smiled back.

And ever since, I always say, “Hi” and smile. And he smiles back.

So the moral of this story is Smile and the world smiles with you…and gives you free bottled water.