Tag Archives: Women

If You Don’t Have Anything Nice to Say…

As I was crossing the parking lot back to my car, I passed 3 older women. Right after I passed them, I heard…

Old Lady: Town whore.

My thoughts: Wow, she sounds pissed off. Is there going to be an old lady smack down?

I kept walking.

Old Lady: ::even louder:: Town whore!

My thoughts: Uhhh…is she talking about me?

What I Wish I’d Said: Takes one to know one!

I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure she was talking about me. What the….

I just ignored them because there were 3 of them…and they were bigger than me and had weapons. One of them had a cane, and all I had was a cup of chicken noodle soup.

How rude. Is my sweater dress a little short? Probably. But my ass isn’t hanging out. It passed the fingertip test.

Passed the fingertip test with a couple inches to spare!

Passed the fingertip test with a couple inches to spare!

Or maybe it was the boots? Is it because they’re knee high? Because they have ties in the back? I always thought they were pirate-like. 

Ties = Whore not Pirate

Ties = Whore not Pirate

Maybe it was my makeup. I was only wearing mascara, but I did layer it on pretty thick. Two coats.

So there you have it: The new definition of “whore” is having sex with 1 person for the past 4.5 years.

Since when does someone’s clothing reflect their sexual actions? I suppose if I had been raped while wearing it, I would have been asking for it, too.

Grrrr…why are people so flippin’ mean? If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

What should I have said? Obviously, I need more practice with comebacks.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “I’ve got a ring but is there a Give-The-Husband-The-Cold-Shoulder-Till-He-Unloads-The-Dishwasher-Day?”—Tori Nelson 

Was Rosie the Riveter Single or Married?

When is the last time you went to a job interview? When is the last time you conducted an interview?

The last time I interviewed someone, he sent me an email a few days later asking me out on a date.

Step in your time machine (What? You don’t have one?), and go back to the 1940s.

Brace yourself. Here are just a few things to take into consideration when hiring a woman:

  1. Pick young married women. They’re less likely to be flirtatious. My jaw just dropped to the floor.
  2. Husky girls are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters. Did you just call me fat?
  3. Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination—one covering female conditions. Ex-squeeze me? Wait, don’t ex-squeeze me.
  4. Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick, and wash her hands several times a day. Hmmm…So a 1940s lipstick break is equivalent to a 2011 smoking break? I should start wearing lipstick.
  5. Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Say “Fudge” instead of the other “F” word….

 You can read the all of the 11 tips here. (You’ll have to come back to 2011 for that. Maybe the 1990s…if you don’t mind dial up.)

Can you imagine finishing up an interview and then being told, “You seem like a good fit for this position. Now just put your feet in the stirrups to let our doctor examine you, and then we’ll move forward with the hiring process.”