Tag Archives: winter

Zombies Don’t Hibernate or Fly South for the Winter

Someone in the blog world (I can’t remember who) told me to watch the movie Dead Snow. Because I will watch anything about zombies.

Except Zombie Strippers. I’m still waivering on whether or not to watch that one.

Plot: A group of medical students take a vacation in the snowy mountains. Nazi zombies attack, and the snowy white hills run red with blood. The movie is like a giant cherry sno-cone.

Since I’ve never been skiing (or encountered a real zombie), I learned a lot from Dead Snow.

  1. If you hear the Nutcracker’s “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy,” run. Zombies are chasing you.
  2. Sometimes you have to wear a hat to bed to stay warm, but not a shirt.
  3. Don’t tease the shirtless hat-wearing guy. He sews up a zombie bite with a fish hook and then bandages his neck with duct tape. Dude is hard core.
  4. Men will cut off their infected arm to avoid becoming a zombie, but they will not cut off their penis.
  5. If you fall over a cliff, use zombie intestines as rope.

A few warnings for you if you decide to watch the movie (via Netflix Instant Viewing)…

Have your popcorn ready and your laundry folded because there are subtitles.  And subtitles mean no multitasking.

When the characters diss the Evil Dead series, you’ll be tempted to turn off those Bruce Campbell haters. But power through because the movie redeems itself by referencing Indiana Jones, April Fool’s Day, Friday the 13th, Homer Simpson, and Terminator.

I think the most important lesson I learned from the movie is Never go skiing (or partake in other outdoor winter activities). If you do, you’ll be attacked by Nazi zombies.