Tag Archives: Why Is the Rum Gone?

I Have a Dream

Every night I have the same dream. I dream of a world full of my favorite desserts. A world where…

  • Cookies and cream ice cream flows freely,
  • Smores marshmallows are golden brown,
  • Carrot cake is considered a vegetable,
  • Every day is Halloween,
  • Pop-Tarts grow on trees,
  • Cupcakes fall from the sky with tiny parachutes,
  • Key lime pie sprouts from the ground, and
  • It rains fun-flavored martinis.

Today I woke up and thought my dream was about to come true when I saw this:

Pop-Tart vodka? With sprinkles inside? If that is possible, anything is possible!

Then I saw it wasn’t real.

Some things just aren’t funny.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: The Hipster and Misty’s exchange starting here.

Dear Diary, Why Is the Rum Gone?

Warning: The movie The Rum Diary is not a prequel to Pirates of the Caribbean. If you’re interested in Captain Jack Sparrow’s adventures while stuck on an island with rum, this is not the movie for you. 

I wish someone had put that warning at the beginning of the movie. But what this movie lacked in Captain Sparrow, it made up for in a different Captain: Captain Rum.

Here’s what I learned from The Rum Diary:

  • As long as you have binoculars and a hard-of-hearing neighbor with an open window, you don’t need your own TV.
  • A man can look at another man’s junk, but only with a mirror…because he doesn’t look directly at it. His junk is like Medusa.
  • Johnny Depp’s superpower is making fully clothed women jump in the shower with him.

Most importantly, I learned that even Johnny Depp’s hotness can’t distract me from icky eye…stuff.

Warning: You may not want to look at the picture below. It isn’t pretty.

From hollywood.com