Tag Archives: Travel

How Zeus and I Will Become Besties

The first thing on my 35 Before 35 List is “Learn a new language.” In addition to American Sign Language, I’ve been learning Greek.

 Why Greek? Because…

  1. I want to communicate with Zeus, Aphrodite, Hera—all the major gods and goddesses. I will be the next Bulfinch.
  2. I saw My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Those people are fun.
  3. It looks like this:

And last but not least, because I’m going there to meet Kiefer…right now.

See you in a week!


I Braved the Texas Heat For This?

While I was packing and unpacking, I found a blog post I’d written in May while I was in Texas. May I present to you this 12-Step Pregnancy Test Program.

  1. Realize you’re late and wonder if you’re pregnant.
  2. Find a CVS drug store that is only .6 miles from your hotel.
  3. Begin walking…in Texas heat.
  4. After 2 blocks, curse yourself for not taking a cab.
  5. Consider swimming in the Riverwalk to reach your destination.
  6. Walk one block too far.
  7. Look for pregnancy tests in the Stationary aisle so you can enjoy the AC a little longer.
  8. Wonder where pregnancy tests actually are. Near contraception? Feminie hygiene?
  9. See them behind the counter. Do people actually steal pregnancy tests?
  10. Because you’re too embarrassed to buy the pregnancy test, also buy chocolate and water.
  11. Realize why the pregnancy tests are behind the counter.
  12. Curse yourself for not taking a cab back to the hotel.

Once you return to the hotel, you’ll discover you no longer need to take a pregnancy test…but you do need to walk back to CVS for tampons.


Airplane Safety: I Didn’t Need to Know That

I’ve been spending a lot of time on planes lately. And I hate it. All of it.

I hate…

  • Being crammed next to complete strangers.
  • Losing all feeling in my butt.
  • Standing in all of the lines. That’s all airports are. Lots and lots of lines.
  • Paying an arm and a leg for a pack of gum.
  • Imagining monsters on the wing of the plane….
Ahhhhhhh!

Ahhhhhhh!

As if that’s not bad enough…there’s also that whole plane crashing thing.

Sometimes I fly into Reagan National Airport. And I recently read this:

Pilots flying into Reagan National Airport have to dodge several no-fly zones located over our nation’s capital just to land. Most of central Washington is prohibited airspace up to 18,000 feet, so pilots are forced to follow the Potomac River in the “River Visual” approach, according to the FAA. While following the Potomac River pilots have to perform a 30- to 40-degree turn while close to the river to line up with the runway. This maneuver is what has caused some to place the airport on their scariest airports lists.

Grrrrrrreat….

After I finished my cupcake answered Kiefer’s proposal, we stopped by a park near Reagan where we watched the planes land. It was scary stuff.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “…You should have your guests toss sprinkles at the wedding exit.”—Angelia Sims


That Time I Passed Out in the Airplane Lavatory

If you were me, this is how your last flight would have gone….

3:30 AM: Wake up.

3:31 AM: Snooze.

3:40 AM: Curse yourself for choosing a 7 AM flight.

4:30 AM: Pat yourself on the back for not forgetting anything.

5:30 AM: Arrive at airport. Realize you forgot your pillow for the 5+ hour flight.

6:30 AM: Meet up with other coworkers. One gives you flavored vodka.

vodka

My coworker thinks I’m an alcoholic….

7:00 AM: Plane takes off. Fall asleep.

7:45 AM: Wake up feeling nauseous despite the dramamine.

7:46 AM: Try to wait it out.

7:47 AM: Contemplate if it’s better to puke in the bag or climb over 2 people to go to the bathroom.

7:48 AM: Envision enough puke to overflow the bag and decide on the bathroom.

7:49 AM: Faint in bathroom.

The bathroom I was in was approximately 1/100th of this size.

The bathroom I was in was approximately 1/100th of this size.

?:??: Wake up on bathroom floor and wonder how long you were out.

?:??: Check yourself for puke. There is none.

?:??: Wait to see if you’re going to puke.

?:??: Embarrassed that people will think you fell in (or are going #2), return to your seat.

7:55 AM: Tell your coworker you fainted. Remember the flavored vodka he gave you.

7:57: AM: Curse your doctor for prescribing an antibiotic you can’t drink with.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Whaaaattt? Never eat pie? Is this even Thoughtsy? No. Can’t be. It’s definitely a pod person!”—And Today Folks


A Visit to Zoobilee Zoo…in Pittsburgh

Want to join me on a safari? But I’m warning you right now, it’ll be dangerous.

Cat fights…

image

Leopard: If you take me home, I’ll eat Esme Kitty for breakfast.

Close calls…

IMG_20130414_065709

Deery Lou: Your sweater sleeve tastes soooooo good!

Violence…

SAM_0363

Peacock: Thoughtsy, I’m here to help you get over your fear of birds…and then I’m going to knock you unconscious with my massive tail feathers and peck your face off.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Cupcakes are being melted and dangled all over the place here, Thoughtsy! I just can’t handle the cupcake abuse!”-Daile