Tag Archives: Ring

Procrastination: A Cereal Killer

Occasionally, I looked at engagement rings online. So I would be prepared. So I would know which one I wanted when Kiefer proposed.

Aside: I hated the ring my exfiance Mephistopheles gave me, and looking back on it, that should have been a sign. Thank goodness he and I didn’t get married!

Then I stopped looking at rings. Because I didn’t care which ring it was, what was most important was that Kiefer gave me a ring…any ring.

But one day, someone sent me a link to some rings, and I couldn’t bring myself to click on the link for a different reason.

What’s the point? Kiefer’s never going to ask me anyways.

Is that really what I thought of our relationship? That it really wasn’t going to progress any further? Then why was I still here?

So I waited. Maybe I was just having a bad day. But the feeling didn’t go away.

fruit-loops

Then I started seeing rings everywhere, particularly at breakfast, and I told Kiefer so (e.g., This Fruit Loop is so round. You know what else is round? Engagement rings!) because I was trying to convince myself that we might actually get married.

Looking back on it, I realize it was my last-ditch effort. Trinity River posted about how “procrastination can contribute to a slow death of the relationship.” Kiefer knew what I wanted (him), but what I wanted wasn’t important to him or he didn’t want me.

Every day Kiefer didn’t show me he wanted to marry me, every day that he’d said he’d ask and then didn’t, was a day that I (and my hope) slipped away from him.

So I told Kiefer, “Some days I don’t think we’re ever going to get married.” Because Kiefer was the only person who could “fix” it. All he had to do was ask.

And I waited longer.

But nothing changed.

So I made a change. I left.


My Boxing Day Gift List

Friend: So maybe you’ll get a ring this year for Christmas.

Thoughtsy: I doubt it. Kiefer said he wouldn’t propose on a holiday.

Friend: But there are plenty of days around the holidays. Like 350-something of them.

Thoughtsy: I guess there is the day after Christmas. Oh wait…That’s Boxing Day.

Friend: The 27th?

Thoughtsy: National Fruitcake Day.

Friend: The 28th?

Thoughtsy: National Give-Your-Boyfriend-the-Cold-Shoulder-for-Not-Proposing Day.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Once my oldest figured out that Santa wasn’t real, I felt kind of relieved like, FINALLY, that jerk can quit getting all the credit for all of my hard work.”—BananaStick3rs


You’ve Reached Your Final Destination

So you’re probably wondering if I completed my Final Destination Halloween Movie Marathon.

Or maybe you weren’t wondering.

But you are now, aren’t ya?

I did not finish it before Halloween. Travel for work interfered. Stupid work…always interfering with my blogging.

You all should take up a collection so I can quit work and just blog all the time. Anyone want to take the lead on that? Anyone? Hello?

Anyways…here’s what I learned from the Final Destination series:

  • If the song “Highway to Hell” comes on the radio, stop driving. Immediately.
  • Never drive across a bridge. It’ll collapse.
  • Never go through a carwash. You might drown.
  • Never go into a home improvement store. You’ll get shot with a nail gun.
  • If you call Buddha “fat,” his statue will fall on your head and kill you.
  • When your horseshoe diamond ring falls in the garbage disposal, just let it go. Let it go, my friend.

Most importantly, I learned not to ignore the signs. Sometimes they’re subtle signs; sometimes they’re obvious signs, and sometimes you need to fill in the blanks. For example, “Do Not Enter” actually means “Do Not Enter…because you’re about to be impaled.”

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “I love it when you get a little mushy on here. It makes me feel warm like someone light a blow torch in my colon. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your amazing family!”—Brittany


He’s Just Not That Into You

Just a couple more posts and then you’ll be all caught up in the Kiefer and Thoughtsy Make Up Saga….

Mere days after Kiefer and I broke up, I moved He’s Just Not That Into You into my Netflix queue. I needed some support, and damn it, Netflix was gonna give it to me.

Here a few tips I learned from the movie:

  • If he doesn’t call you, he’s just not that into you.
  • If a girl asks you to massage her feet but doesn’t have sex with you, she’s just not that into you.
  • If someone cheats on you, it’s not your fault.
  • You…yes, you…are the rule. Not the exception.

So, of course, I related to Jennifer Aniston’s and Ben Affleck’s characters. If you’ve never seen the movie, they’ve been together for 7 years, but Ben doesn’t believe in marriage.

Finally, Jennifer comes right out with it:

You know me. You know who I am. You either wanna marry me or you don’t.

She asks the question that she’s held back because she’s afraid. Afraid of demanding or clingy accusations:

Are you ever gonna marry me?

There’s a long pause.

I know from Kiefer and Mephistopheles that long pauses mean you’re not going to hear the answer you want.

And then she leaves him.

Of course, because it’s a movie, Aniston realizes Affleck was supporting her more than some husbands ever do for  their wives, and Affleck realizes he loves Aniston so much that he’ll do anything to make her happy: even marrying her.

Le sigh. That’s Hollywood for you. Always a happy ending.

(::Insert Carrie Bradshaw moment::) I couldn’t help but wonder…if Kiefer would miss me so much that he would want to marry me.

So I guess what I’m saying is…I’m highly impressionable.

If Kiefer and I don’t make it, I’m blaming the movie. If we can blame the movies for violence, we can also blame movies for my love life.


In Football Vampires Are the Shirts and Werewolves Are the Skins

Thank you to everyone who voted on The Birds and the Bees in Breaking Dawn.

Like me, most of you were only interested in cabana boys, but some of you thought I should rewatch New Moon and Eclipse and take notes for Movies Teach Us.

After watching the movies, I noticed that all of my notes fit into two categories: Bella Is Stupid and Sex.

Sex

  • According to Bella’s dad, sex today is not the same as it was 10 years ago.
  • Sometimes guys actually say, “Stop trying  to take your clothes off.”

 These two movies are where Jacob really enters the picture to make a love triangle, so part of this list is a Jacob vs. Edward list.

Bella Is Stupid

  • In about 2 minutes, Edward asks Bella to marry him 3 times. W.T.F. Just say “yes!”
  • Jacob has abs, pecs, and a motorcycle. Edward is skinny and pale.
  • Jacob can serve as your very own personal heater in the winter.
  • Edward sparkles.
  • Bella hops on a motorcycle with a complete stranger.
  • No one is that clumsy. Pay attention, Bella.
  • Bella drives a motorcycle without a helmet.

    This picture is my Christmas present to you. You're welcome.

 

The most important lesson I learned is that werewolves are truly magical. When they transform, where do their shorts and sneakers go? They just disappear and then reappear.

That, my blog friends, is talent. Talent that every cabana boy needs.