Tag Archives: Ransom

Esme Hood: Princess of Thieves

When Esme was little, she stole stuff. To date, here’s a list of items she’s thieved:

  • Socks
  • Undies
  • Straws
  • Tostitos
  • Popcorn
  • A plastic baggie with a blueberry muffin in it. She dragged it under the bed. I assume she was saving it for later.

Now that she’s older, she can’t be bothered with stealing things. Instead she just plops down on them.


You want this pair of jeans? You’re going to have to get through me first.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “My favourite line from this post… ‘I have to wait until after work to partake in some sugary-rimmed goodness.’ I mean, there is a lot of rimming going on in this one—sugary rims, salty rims, and all before 9pm! Positively blushing.”—thepinkrachel

I’m in Your Fridge…Stealing Your Fruit

Remember Ddot? He’s the fruit-but-no-chocolate-on-frozen-yogurt offender.*

Did you see what he did? He taunted all of us in the comments. Are you gonna let him get away with that?

And now he’s sending me evidence of each fruit infraction. He sent me this the other night:

Exhibit A: Note the lack of chocolate and the abundance of fruit on his ice cream.

He’s rubbing my nose in his fruity ice cream…. Let’s get him.

I can think of only one solution: Stealing all the fruit from his fridge and leaving this ransom note:

I used cut outs because I don't want this note to be traced back to me....

Obviously,  the note will be more intimidating when it’s not laying on my heart blanket.

*The Yogi Castle incident was actually his second offense. Ddot did the same thing when we got ice cream in San Antonio.