Tag Archives: Please Pass the Drugs

Put Your Feet Up…Way Up

In the middle of this pregnancy, I switched to an office with doctors and midwives. At first, I was skeptical because I worried the midwives would push the all-natural approach.

Positive: The midwife would stay throughout the entire labor instead of popping in and out. They don’t discourage drugs, and they get the doctor if complications arise.

Positive: Upon telling the midwife that my stepsons were born at home and I had no intention of doing that, she said, “Don’t worry. We deliver babies in a hospital…which I will drive to in my car…not ride up to on my horse.”

Negative: The first midwife I met called me fat.

Then I began to worry that all midwives did was criticize my weight. The next few appointments went like this:

  • “Your weight gain since the last appointment is a little on the high side, but it’s nothing to be worried about. Plus, Thanksgiving was in there.”
  • Nothing said about my weight at the next appointment.
  • Again, nothing said about weight.
  • “You’ve only put on 2 pounds since your last appointment. Nice job!”
  • And at yesterday’s appointment: “You’ve lost 2 pounds.” That was thanks to the cold I had this week, which is why the blog was especially quiet.

Now I suspect they may just be saying nice things because of how fragile pregnant women are in the last few weeks.

  • “That you’re still exercising is good. That’ll help during labor.”
  • “How tall are you? Taller women usually have an easier labor.”
  • “Your baby won’t be huge. Maybe 8.5 pounds.”

And my favorite:

Me: My feet are starting to swell.

Her: That’s totally normal at this stage. Just put your feet up.

Me: I do that. I sit down and watch movies and fold laundry.

This is the incorrect way to put your feet up.

Her: No. You need to LAY down and have your feet above your heart.

Me: But then I can’t fold laundry…or do anything.

Her: Exactly.

A prescription/order to do nothing and be lazy. I love it.

Also from yesterday’s appointment: 0 cm dilated and 50% effaced at 37 weeks. That’s not the 8 cm and 80% I was hoping for, but I’ll take it.