Tag Archives: Picky Eaters Anonymous

Never Mess With a Pregnant Woman’s Food

My cravings snuck up on me. No midnight runs for Kiefer. Then one day I looked at the food from the grocery store and saw I’d bought…

Pickles.

Seriously? How stereotypical.

On my next grocery trip, I came home with peaches, chips and dip, Twinkies, and two flavors of pudding Snack Paks.

Thoughtsy: Never send a pregnant woman to the grocery store.

Kiefer: Are you kidding? A pregnant woman is the best person to send to the grocery store.

After that, I decided to control my cravings. I walked by candy orange slices and start salivating, but I resisted buying them. Take that, craving! I win!

The minute I got home, I sent Kiefer out to buy orange slices.

I’ve eaten a gazillion of these little crack slices. At least they count as a fruit.

Every time we got in the car, I made us stop for orange slices. Every. Time.

Thoughtsy: ::buckling seatbelt:: Can we stop and get orange slices?

Kiefer: We’re going out for dinner.

Thoughtsy: Orange slices….

Kiefer: The restaurant is 5 minutes from here.

Thoughtsy: ORANGE SLICES! I’m feeling low on Vitamin C.

Finally, I gave up and just started buying whatever I wanted.

Kiefer: Why are these eggs purple? What did you buy?

Thoughtsy: Pickled eggs. Haven’t you ever had one? They’re good. Don’t be racist against the purple eggs. I eat your cage-free, organic brown eggs.

Kiefer: You are sooooo pregnant.

Thoughtsy: I’ve totally eaten pickled eggs before! I eat them all the time!

Kiefer: When’s the last time you had one?

Thoughtsy: Like 3 years ago. Shut up.

Following the pickled egg debacle, I was on a juice kick. At any given time, at least 4 bottles of juice were in our refrigerator.

Kiefer: Hurry up and finish your pickles. We don’t have room for all this juice.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “My Noah was a girl for five minutes. Then he grew a penis. Right there on the ultrasound. So boy.”—Kimberly Pugliano


Please Pass Smore Peeps Smores

Wanna know a secret? I don’t like Peeps. I think it’s the sugar on the outside.

I know: I’m the Sugar Queen. How can there be too much sugar? It perplexes me as well.

But it’s not my sweets reputation that I’m worried about. I’m keeping it a secret because Kiefer put some Peeps in my Easter basket. Bless his little heart: he didn’t know I don’t like Peeps. Heck, I didn’t even know. I’d never tasted Peeps before.

Kiefer: Do you like Peeps?

My Thoughts: I’ve never actually had one, but if I say that, he’s gonna tease me for being a picky eater and not trying new things. They’re just marshmallow and sugar, right? How can you go wrong with that?

What I Said: Sure. Nothing gives me more pleasure than biting the head off a marshmallow bird.

But I gave Peeps one last chance to redeem themselves.

I made a Peep smore.

Before

After

And it was delicious. And it was a-maz-ing to watch one blow up in the microwave. Toasting them over the fire worked, too, but I prefered to watch the Peep swell up to softball size.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “For your soccer game, you should most definitely be wearing lingerie. There will be an underwear runway for you to strut on. Make sure to have three glasses of wine to really make the undies pop.”—Blissful Britt


Taste Test Tuesday: Larabars

After a recent trial with MyFoodDiary.com, I learned a few things about my eating habits:

  1. I eat a lot.
  2. Sometimes I don’t get enough iron.
  3. I seldom eat enough protein.
  4. I eat entirely too much sugar. Who knew? Duh….

So I decided to cut back on sugar eat more protein. You know what has protein and is healthy? Larabars.

And LeashieLoo and BlissfulBrit eat them all the time, so I bought a few different flavors.

  • Cherry Pie Bar: I do like cherry pie. I wish it was a cherry-pie-with-ice-cream bar.
  • Blueberry Muffin Bar: I love blueberry muffins, so I was really excited to try it. But it wasn’t sweet enough for me.
  • Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Bar: I don’t think it really tasted like cookie dough. Except for the texture. I still liked it though.
  • Carrot Cake: This was ok. Unfortunately, it was missing the cream cheese icing.

If you’ve never tasted a Larabar, you should know they’re  not crunchy. They’re soft and chewy, which I prefer. I liked the Cherry Pie flavor the best.

I want to try the Chocolate Coconut Chew and Key Lime Pie bars, but they continue to elude me.

Has anyone heard of a key lime pie conspiracy? First I can’t find the Key Lime Pie vodka, and now the Larabar…Is there a shortage of key limes?

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Well, you could always get the zombies drunk.”—You Fancy Me Mad


I’m in Your Fridge…Stealing Your Fruit

Remember Ddot? He’s the fruit-but-no-chocolate-on-frozen-yogurt offender.*

Did you see what he did? He taunted all of us in the comments. Are you gonna let him get away with that?

And now he’s sending me evidence of each fruit infraction. He sent me this the other night:

Exhibit A: Note the lack of chocolate and the abundance of fruit on his ice cream.

He’s rubbing my nose in his fruity ice cream…. Let’s get him.

I can think of only one solution: Stealing all the fruit from his fridge and leaving this ransom note:

I used cut outs because I don't want this note to be traced back to me....

Obviously,  the note will be more intimidating when it’s not laying on my heart blanket.

*The Yogi Castle incident was actually his second offense. Ddot did the same thing when we got ice cream in San Antonio.


Candy Contamination Is an Abomination

Me: Hi. I’m Thoughtsy, and I’m a picky eater.

You: Hi, Thoughtsy! Welcome to Picky Eaters Anonymous (PEA).

Me: Phew. I like peas. Did I pass Step 1?

You may remember one of these posts about my pickiness:

  • Kiwis (aka fuzzy fruit) and Peaches (aka fuzzy butt fruit)
  • Watermelon seeds (aka seeds I’m not racist against…I hate white and black seeds equally)
  • Grape leaves (aka food that looks like poo)

In addition to my pickiness, I don’t like it when foods touch. Whoever designed sectioned plates, I salute you. You’re a flippin’ genius.

Unless it’s gravy and mashed potatoes or ketchup and french fries, no food shall touch other food on my plate.

Look at this abomination.

Anyone care to read the lines on my palm?

Grape Nerds mixed in with the Strawberry Nerds. Ewww…. Contamination!

Does anyone (over the age of 10) really eat anything grape flavored? If so, I have some freezer-burnt grape popsicles for you.