Tag Archives: MTHFR

Don’t F*ck With the Babysitter

Back in December, my doctor’s office screwed up. They were supposed to test my progesterone levels, and instead they told me my blood type.  That was Doctor #1.

In June, they tested for blood disorders. While I was waiting for results, I found out I was pregnant, so I had more blood drawn.

When the doctor called to tell me congratulations, he asked, “So what are you doing about your blood disorder?”


Because I really liked Doctor #2 (he was the only doctor willing to test for blood disorders), I overlooked this mistake.

Unfortunately, Doctor #2 no longer delivers babies, so I started seeing Doctors #3-7 at the same practice because you don’t know who will be on call when you deliver.

Doctor #3? Fine.

Then Doctor #4 asked if my insurance would cover cystic fibrosis carrier testing. It did. While I waited for my cystic fibrosis results, I visited my specialist for an ultrasound.

The specialist saw something on the ultrasound that could mean the baby had an infection or cystic fibrosis, so he wanted to take blood. And because I love needles and am quite fond of keeping my blood in my body, I said…

Me: Just test for infections. You can skip cystic fibrosis because my doctor’s office just took blood for that.

 That entire week I was a mess. It was the day after our wedding; I was supposed to go to Texas: I didn’t.

The specialist’s office called me 4 days later with the infections results: All clear.

It had been 6 days since the OB’s office drew my blood, so I called for my results.

Doctor’s Office: Your neural tube birth defects test came back fine.

Me: And my cystic fibrosis test?

Doctor’s Office: We didn’t test for that.

Me: Doctor #4 said you were going to.

Doctor’s Office: We can draw that at next month’s appointment.

Me: No. The specialist is concerned about something on the ultrasound; I’m not waiting 3 more weeks.

I will gut you like a fish!

Bitch, I will cut you.

Needless to say, I’m done with that office. I understand people make mistakes, but three times is too much for me.

Tomorrow I’m going to a completely different doctor’s office. Wish me luck!

Just Don’t Make Me Wear a Cape

Dear Professor Xavier,

Kiefer and I suffered two miscarriages last year. Desperate for answers, I went through a lot of pokes and pricks to figure out what was going on.

Finally…my insurance changed, and I was able to return to my favorite OB/GYN. He sent me for thyroid testing (all clear!) and then ran bloodwork for some common blood disorders.

And he found one.

Professor X (May I call you that?), I am a mutant.

When can I get my own action figure?

My mutation is called…I love the name…MTHFR. My doctor calls it the “Mother Factor.” Bor-ing.

I’m calling it the M*ther F*cker. Why? Because that’s what the acronym looks like…and it contributes to miscarriages, so that name is kind of literal. Plus…that sounds badass.

Basically, my body isn’t metabolizing Vitamin B like it should, and it leads to pregnancy complications like blood clotting. Step 1 is to try taking extra Vitamin B and some baby aspirin.

Sooooo…May I join the X-Men now? I know it’s not a mutant power that’s useful during a fight, but I’d still like a cool outfit.

Just think about it.

Your fellow mutant,


PS: Please do not make me wear a cape.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Tell your mom if she’d raised you better you wouldn’t dress like such a whore.”—Robynbird