Searching For My Lost Shaker of Salt

Today is February 22: National Margarita Day!

Because today isn’t a holiday (It obviously should be.), I have to wait until after work to partake in some sugary-rimmed goodness.

Let’s right. I said it: Sugar rim. I choose sugar over salt. But really…does that surprise you?

After work, I’ll be enjoying a margarita-filled girls’ night out. If you’re nearby, feel free to join me. If you’re not nearby, fly out. Enter “GETDRUNKWITHTHOUGHTSY” in the coupon code box for a discounted ticket.

If you can’t make it, you must hate me I completely understand. Instead check out Vesta’s cocktail hour at The Cowardly Feminist.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Nothing wrong with living with your mom! Sensible young man, saving money for his future.”—Jill Pinnella Corso

Where the Soup of the Day is Tequila

I know I didn’t post last week, but I have a really good reason. Just give me second….

Oh!

The ear Esme attacked got infected. They had to amputate it. And now I’m destined to spend the rest of my life walking around cupping my hand to my good ear and saying, “Eh?”

Instant Canadian.

Psych! (Yes, I just said, “Psych!”)

My ear is fine. I went to Fort Lauderdale for…

• Ice cream?
• Work?
• Giant margaritas?
• A blogger meetup?

All of the above are correct. I went for my Special Ops Ninja job (Yes, that’s totally a real job), and while I was down there, I met Lorraine from The Late Party Girls.

She rocks. And she took me to Jaxson’s: Home of the Kitchen Sink Sundae. No, we didn’t get it. They won’t give you that gargantuan-sized sundae unless you’re in a party of 4.

Obviously, they had no idea who they were dealing with because Lorraine and I are semi-anonymous. If only they’d known who we really were, we’d have been the exception.

Not wanting to reveal our secret identities, Lorraine and I settled for two scoops…which ended up being the size of our heads.

Also, while I was in Florida, Ddot and I partook in margaritas….which were also the size of our heads.

Ddot illustrating a hand-to-margarita size ratio.

That should be Fort Lauderdale’s new slogan.

Fort Lauderdale: Where Everything Yummy Is the Size of Your Head.

Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off

Like the song says, “Tequila makes your clothes fall off.” What the song leaves out is that your clothes fall off from the force of convulsing while you vomit.

Me: Ugh…I heaved so hard my bra came unhooked.

Kiefer: You call that heaving? You’re the daintest puker ever.

Me: Awww…you called my puking “dainty.” That’s why I love you.

I hate throwing up. And even more than throwing up, I hate people hearing me throw up. So when Kiefer described my vomiting as “dainty” and “like a kitten hacking up a tiny hairball,” it was like he gave me the Olympic Gold Medal.

That’s right. If puking quietly was a sport, I would win the gold.

I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve thrown up from drinking:

1. Jungle juice is stronger than it tastes. Welcome to college.
2. A milkshake is not an adequate dinner on New Year’s Eve.
3. Half of a salad is not an adequate dinner before having a few drinks.
4. Do not try to “drink the rainbow.” Drinking the rainbow = a shot of every color (ROYGBIV).

And now I can add Lesson #5: If you’re going to drink 2.643839261 raspberry margaritas, you need to eat more than chips and salsa.

February 22: National Margarita Day

Today is National Margarita Day (Zahara told me). Celebrate good times, come on! It’s a celebration.

So my present to you is bloggy blueberry margarita.

The blog version is a poor substitute for the real thing. You should get a real one to celebrate the holiday properly.

In fact, just to make sure you don’t fudge it up, I’m going to tell you how to celebrate.

Lucky for you, I am an alcoholic connoisseur of margaritas.

Ideally, you should go to Margaritaville. (Remember when I went there with The Jolie?) But if there isn’t one close by, you might want to try…

• Glory Days makes an awesome blueberry margarita. It’s so awesome, it’s awe-schome.
• Longhorn has a delicious black raspberry peach margarita.

If you don’t like margaritas, I’m only allowing you one other drink option: The Pink Punk Cosmo from TGIFridays. Any drink that comes with cotton candy is always an acceptable option. Always.

1. Decide on a flavor.
2. Pick your details: Frozen or On the Rocks? Salt or Sugar? I’m an on-the-rocks-with-a-sugar-rim kinda gal. (But I’m sure you already knew I was a sugar-rim gal instead of a salt-rim girl.)
3. When the drink arrives, commence licking the sugar off half the glass.
4. Drink the margarita.
5. Eat the fruit if it comes with any. It’s healthy.
6. Lick the sugar off the last half of the glass.

Happy Margarita Day!