Tag Archives: Love

Help! I’m Stuck in the Bathroom and I Can’t Get Out!

Last month was full of travel. Just as I arrived in San Antonio, Kiefer was headed to Turkey. He called me from the airport.

Kiefer: Guess what?

Thoughtsy: You’re blowing off work and flying to Texas to see me?

Kiefer: I wish. We got the house.

For almost 2 years, Kiefer and I looked at houses. We put offers in on several, and one offer after another was outbid. Rejection again and again.

But…finally…we found a cute house; they accepted our offer, and we got the keys last night.

I’m happy to report this house  has 4 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. Two bathrooms! After the house was officially ours, the first words out of my mouth were: “I have to pee…in my bathroom.”

A kid-free bathroom. It was heaven. Then…this happened:

Thoughtsy: KIEFER! Help! I’m trapped in the bathroom. The door is stuck. Let me out!

Kiefer: Bwahaha! That’s funny. Open the door.

Thoughtsy: I can’t.

Kiefer: Did you lock it?

Thoughtsy: No.

Kiefer: Are you sure?

Thoughtsy: No….

And that’s how we got the first item on our new house’s  To-Do List. I can’t believe the new bathroom turned on me like that. Jerk…. If I suddenly stop blogging, you’ll know where I am. Send help.

Finally…Everything seems to be coming together.

Proposal? Check.

Wedding? Almost checked.

House with more than one bathroom? Check.

Baby? Hopefully soon to be checked.


Mrs. Appear—Uh—Sutherland

I have a confession to make. My real name isn’t Thoughtsy Appear. GASP! And Kiefer’s real name isn’t Kiefer Sutherland. DOUBLE GASP!

In real life, my last name is 12 letters. 12! That’s long. As a teenager, I dreamed of marrying a man with a short last name, like Smith. Even better: Doe.

In real life, Kiefer’s last name is 7 letters. Not as short as “Doe” but I’m willing to compromise.

Though we’re not married yet, Kiefer and I already put my new last name on something official. Something even bigger than the marriage license. Kiefer and I have already joined the ranks of married couples everywhere…we joined…

Costco.

I can’t breathe. It’s all moving so fast.

As if that wasn’t enough, Kiefer and I went shopping for wedding bands…and the order is under: Thoughtsy Sutherland.

When I signed for it, I totally screwed up:

New Sig

Not only did I start to sign the wrong last name, I pretty much printed the new last name.

To remedy embarrassing moments in the future, I’ve reverted to my 16-year-old self:

Practice

Dammit…I don’t even remember how to write in cursive. By the time I got to the “n,” I was just done. And I hate the cursive “r.” It looks like the pi symbol. I wish it looked like pie instead.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “‘Do zombies poop?’ I can always count on you to ask the important questions, Thoughtsy. Move over, Diane Sawyer.”—Pegoleg


Payback’s a…

My dear bloggers, although I only made you wait one day for the answer to Kiefer’s proposal, I made Kiefer wait a few weeks. During those weeks, we had conversations like this:

Thoughtsy: I’m still shocked that you actually proposed.

Kiefer: Did you like it? I wrote it down. And then I memorized it. Mem-o-riz-ed it.

Thoughtsy: Can I have the written version? For the blog. Maybe you could sign it, too. So it would be like a contract. Let’s add in a cupcake clause. Also…I’m going to need you to propose again.

Kiefer: I’ll propose to you every day if you want.

Thoughtsy: Do I get 4+ years to decide?

Kiefer: What are you talking about? I’ve wanted to get married this whole time. You’ve been the hold up.

Thoughtsy: ::the “excuse-me” eyebrow raise:: Not. Funny.

Kiefer: Fine. But can we get married now? Now? What about now?

Thoughtsy: Every time you ask, I’m making you wait an extra month.

Kiefer: Well played, Thoughtsy. Well played.

Favorite Comments From Last Post:

  • “RING RING I SPOT A RING IN THAT FIRST PICTURE! And a cupcakes…I see an amazing looking cupcake…and a skinny looking hot lady!! Happy Birthday month! I would make you cupcakes if I lived closer.”—Brittany
  • “I’m surprised the cupcake didn’t go up in flames after all those key-lime mart…ummm…after dinner.”—Cooper

The Boys Have Me Outnumbered

One of the things that weighed heavily on my mind with Kiefer’s proposal was Boo and Radley. What did they think? Over the last 6 months, I’d seen them only a handful of times.

Maybe they hated me for depriving them. I mean, while I lived with them, they became accustomed to a certain Pop-Tart-filled lifestyle….

When Kiefer told Boo and Radley that he proposed, Boo’s response was, “Way to go, Dad!”

After I said, “Yes,” I was still worried. Because that’s what I do: I worry.

Turns out there was nothing to worry about. When Kiefer told them we were getting married, Boo said, “Yessssss!”

YES

Kiefer said Boo did the fist-pull thing, so he pretty much looked like this.

And Radley? He’s excited for the 24/7  desserts that I bring to the relationship. Who wouldn’t be?

Ozzy Pups is happy, too.

Oh my goodness…the boys have Esme Kitty and I outnumbered! I guess the only thing left to do is resign myself to a lifetime of raised toilet seats.

What have I done?

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “I was under the impression that everyone carried a bookbag filled with high-tech sex toys. I guess this revelation radically changes my plans for world domination.”—AbsentElemental


Why Y’All Gotta Waste My Flavor?

Sometimes I’m too focused. Sometimes that’s a good thing, but sometimes it’s a bad thing. For example, I love the movie Empire Records so much that I forget other movies exist.

So when Darla reminded me that Mark from Empire Records is in other movies, like Can’t Hardly Wait , I rewatched it. And I realized that EVERYONE is in that movie.

Every. One. Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Marshall from How I Met Your Mother, Joy from My Name Is Earl, Les from Newsies, and the list just keeps going.

Anyways, the first 5 minutes of the movie reminded me why it’s awesome: Pop-Tarts.

Pop-Tart

If he had been eating an unfrosted Pop-Tart, I would have turned it off.

Any movie with Pop-Tarts is my kind of movie.

Here’s what I learned:

  • You’re destined to be with someone if you’re both eating Pop-Tarts. (I recently applied this knowledge in my life.)
  • You know what kind of girls are in college? Girls who used to be in high school.
  • If your friend tells you you’re prettier than Gwyneth Paltrow, your friend is lying.
  • Beer doesn’t go bad. It just tastes like that (i.e., bad).
move

Virgins should not attempt this move.

  • You should always carry a bookbag full of sex stuff because you’ll never know when you’ll lose your virginity.
  • There are plenty of trolley cars in the sea.
  • The song “Mandy” is about Barry Manilow’s dog.

Most importantly, I learned that Fate only takes you so far, the rest is upto you.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Do you think the gum is so expensive because it doubles as plane repair adhesive?”—GoJulesGo