Tag Archives: ice cream

Where the Soup of the Day is Tequila

I know I didn’t post last week, but I have a really good reason. Just give me second….

Oh!

The ear Esme attacked got infected. They had to amputate it. And now I’m destined to spend the rest of my life walking around cupping my hand to my good ear and saying, “Eh?”

Instant Canadian.

Psych! (Yes, I just said, “Psych!”)

My ear is fine. I went to Fort Lauderdale for…

  • Ice cream?
  • Work?
  • Giant margaritas?
  • A blogger meetup?

All of the above are correct. I went for my Special Ops Ninja job (Yes, that’s totally a real job), and while I was down there, I met Lorraine from The Late Party Girls.

She rocks. And she took me to Jaxson’s: Home of the Kitchen Sink Sundae. No, we didn’t get it. They won’t give you that gargantuan-sized sundae unless you’re in a party of 4.

Obviously, they had no idea who they were dealing with because Lorraine and I are semi-anonymous. If only they’d known who we really were, we’d have been the exception.

Not wanting to reveal our secret identities, Lorraine and I settled for two scoops…which ended up being the size of our heads.

Also, while I was in Florida, Ddot and I partook in margaritas….which were also the size of our heads.

Ddot illustrating a hand-to-margarita size ratio.

That should be Fort Lauderdale’s new slogan.

Fort Lauderdale: Where Everything Yummy Is the Size of Your Head.


Carrot Cake Counts as a Vegetable

This is what happens when you send me to the store for ice cream. Consider yourself warned.

Carrot Cake, Red Velvet Cake, and Triple Chocolate Cake Ice Cream

Ice cream wasn’t enough for me. I needed cake and ice cream. (In addition to ice cream, I also came home with giant star-shaped marshmallows because, you know…giant star marshmallows!)

Why are you looking at me like that? The carrot cake ice cream counts as a vegetable.

Narrowing it down to 3 flavors was difficult because there was also Butterscotch Krimpet ice cream. But don’t worry. I’m going back to get it this weekend.

In case you were wondering, the triple chocolate cake flavor was my favorite. You probably knew that.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “I just read that men prefer the scent of vanilla over perfume. So I could have used vanilla extract instead of spending $ on expensive perfume all these years? Muuuuuuther….”—NanaBread


What’s Next? Cupcake-Flavored Bacon?

It’s Taste Test Tuesday again! Have you noticed the influx of cupcake-flavored and cake-flavored food? I taste tested all of it.

A local fudge and ice cream shop has cupcake ice cream. A few weeks ago, Kiefer let me try a bite of his, and I demanded we return so I could get my own.

It’s a little melty because SOMEONE (ahem Kiefer) took forever to choose a flavor.

Thoughtsy: I’d like the cupcake ice cream in a cup. Extra sprinkles please.

Scooper: Have you tried it? Because a lot of people don’t like it.

Kiefer: She’s tried it. Why don’t people like it?

Scooper: A lot of people think it’s too sweet.

Kiefer and Thoughtsy:  Too sweet? BWAHAHAHAHA!

That’s right. I live in a town of amateurs.

I should also mention that Dairy Queen’s Blizzard of the Month is Confetti Cake. Maybe I just got a bad one, but there was hardly any cake in it. FAIL!

And last, but not least, the food that holds a special place in my heart: Confetti Cake Pop-Tarts. Mmmmm….

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “What’s the big deal? I’ve got that exact same outfit.”—Skipping Stones


The Power of the Jinx

The Ravens beat the Steelers Sunday night, 23-20. And you know why they won?

Because…

  • I wore purple.
  • I ate Blitzburgh Crunch ice cream.

    A metaphor for Baltimore beating Pittsburgh.

  • I put supportive black stripes on my face.
  • I cheered and danced a little happy dance.
  • I bought Clay Skittles…you know, just in case.

And most importantly…

Because Clay jinxed it.

That’s right, Steelers fans. If you’re looking for someone to blame, Clay’s your man.

If Clay hadn’t jinxed them, the Steelers would have won the game. Why?

Me watching the Ravens should have ensured their loss because I’m bad luck. I confirmed this when I watched my first car race: the one Dale Earnhardt died in. I feel personally responsible.

In case you didn’t watch the game, the Ravens started off strong, and then they got behind. They were losing.

As you can see, I was about to admit defeat, but after a booty shaking rally from me, the Ravens came back and won it…in the last 20 seconds of the game.

And you know what that means: Clay watches a chick flick. But which one? As Dances with Chaos put it, I don’t want Clay to enjoy the chick flick, I want it to make him stab his eyeballs.

Stay tuned for the chick flick final choice and a post singing Ironic Mom’s praises for being the closest to the final score!


An Open Letter Concerning Contaminated Cantaloupe

Dear Restaurants That Serve Cantaloupe,

Why do you always serve a side of honey dew and cantaloupe with my breakfast? Don’t you know that nobody eats those two fruits?

We all know that you just serve that side of fruit to make my plate look more colorful and appetizing. But you know what would make my plate look more appetizing?

A side of fruit that I would actually eat. Watermelon, oranges, grapes, apple slices, pineapples, strawberries. I’d even be ok with you slapping an unpeeled banana on the side of my plate.

But cantaloupe? Seriously? It’s always been icky, but now it’s contaminated, too.

First the spinach was contaminated, and now the cantaloupe. Have you noticed that only healthy food ever gets recalled?

I just glanced quickly at the recall list for the past 2 weeks. All fruits and veggies with the exception of some Mac N’ Cheese (what’s up with that Velveeta?).

When’s the last time you heard about Ben and Jerry recalling ice cream or Mr. Wonka recalling some chocolate?

You haven’t. Because it’s never happened.

So the next time you tell me that my omelet comes with two sides, the sides better be one of the following combinations:

  • Breakfast Potatoes and Watermelon/Pineapple/Both
  • Breakfast Potatoes and a Blueberry Muffin
  • Breakfast Potatoes and a Cotton Candy Doughnut
  • Breakfast Potatoes and a Chocolate Chip Cookie
  • A Chocolate Chip Cookie and a Scoop of Ice Cream
  • Or any of the above and a cupcake.

I look forward to this change being implemented immediately. And by immediately, I mean by this weekend.

Thank you for your attention in this matter, melon heads.

Sincerely,

Thoughts