This is life with a newborn. At least mine.
Day 1: Realize you’ve been up for about 40+ hours when you finally go to sleep.
Night 1: Your baby won’t sleep in the crib and will only sleep next to you in the bed. Expect every nurse to yell at you, and feel relief when they don’t.
Day 2: Thank goodness for the hospital gown.
Night 2: Realize you have the best baby ever because she sleeps for about 5 hours straight.
Day 3: Fight the urge to burn the hospital gown. Count every minute until you can leave the hospital.
Night 3: Five hours of straight sleep turns to 3 hours…and she won’t sleep in the crib at home.
Don’t be fooled: She’s resting in the hospital bed on a pillow.
Day 4: Wonder if your baby was bitten by a radioactive spider because that’s the only possible explanation for the color of her poo.
Night 4: Your baby refuses to sleep in the crib. Have visions of a teenager still sleeping between you and your husband.
Day 5 AM: Snicker at your husband for having to change a diaper he put on 30 seconds before.
Day 5 PM: Curse karma when you go through 3 diapers before you can even get the baby off the changing table.
Night 5: Your baby spends part of the night in the crib! Although you’re initially excited, during an early morning potty break, stop by the crib and hold your breath until you see her little chest rise up and down.
Day 6: Poke your baby while she’s in the crib because you can’t tell if she’s breathing.
Night 7: Your baby spits up all of the milk in her tummy around 11 PM. Spend the rest of the night nursing her every hour to make up for it.
Night 8: Realize you’ve never been so thankful to wake up to nurse every 3 hours again.
Day 9: Wonder if the hospital will deliver food to your house.
Day 14 AM: You are wiped. Worry that exhaustion has finally set in.
Day 14 PM: Realize a fever should not come with normal exhaustion. Begin antibiotics for mastitis.
Day 15: Hear that your stitches are healing nicely. Walk the dog for the first time in weeks.
Scout is 3 weeks old tomorrow!