Never Wake a Sleeping Baby

At night, Scout likes to sleep, but she wakes up every 3-4 hours to eat. She’s been that way since we brought her home from the hospital…until about a week and a half ago.

7:55 PM: Scout goes to bed.

8:12 PM: Scout wakes up.

8:30 PM: Scout goes to bed again.

8:36 PM: I go to bed.

11:54 PM: I wake up and wonder why Scout isn’t up.

11:58 PM: Wonder if she’s still breathing.

11: 59 PM: Scout makes a noise. I figure she’ll wake up in the next 30 minutes.

2:27 AM: Wake up and realize Scout has been asleep for 6 hours straight! Jump out of bed to see if she’s breathing…she is.

2:31 AM: I realize my boobs are about to explode. I contemplate waking her up, but decide to pump instead.

2:40 AM: Pump only a little because I’m sure she’ll wake any second.

3:37 AM: Nudge Kiefer “accidentally,” and say, “Oh, good! You’re awake.Go check Scout. She’s been asleep for 7 hours and it’s freaking me out.”

3:38 AM: He checks and confirms she’s fine.

4:19 AM: Calm down enough to start to drift off.

4:27 AM: Scout wakes up after 8 hours of sleep in a row.

And that’s why I always get less sleep than Scout.

You Can Read the Post, But I Know You Just Want to See the Picture

This is life with a newborn. At least mine.

Day 1: Realize you’ve been up for about 40+ hours when you finally go to sleep.

Night 1: Your baby won’t sleep in the crib and will only sleep next to you in the bed. Expect every nurse to yell at you, and feel relief when they don’t.

Day 2: Thank goodness for the hospital gown.

Night 2: Realize you have the best baby ever because she sleeps for about 5 hours straight.

Day 3: Fight the urge to burn the hospital gown. Count every minute until you can leave the hospital.

Night 3: Five hours of straight sleep turns to 3 hours…and she won’t sleep in the crib at home.

Don’t be fooled: She’s resting in the hospital bed on a pillow.

Day 4: Wonder if your baby was bitten by a radioactive spider because that’s the only possible explanation for the color of her poo.

Night 4: Your baby refuses to sleep in the crib. Have visions of a teenager still sleeping between you and your husband.

Day 5 AM: Snicker at your husband for having to change a diaper he put on 30 seconds before.

Day 5 PM: Curse karma when you go through 3 diapers before you can even get the baby off the changing table.

Night 5: Your baby spends part of the night in the crib! Although you’re initially excited, during an early morning potty break, stop by the crib and hold your breath until you see her little chest rise up and down.

Day 6: Poke your baby while she’s in the crib because you can’t tell if she’s breathing.

Night 7: Your baby spits up all of the milk in her tummy around 11 PM. Spend the rest of the night nursing her every hour to make up for it.

Night 8: Realize you’ve never been so thankful to wake up to nurse every 3 hours again.

Day 9: Wonder if the hospital will deliver food to your house.

Day 14 AM: You are wiped. Worry that exhaustion has finally set in.

Day 14 PM: Realize a fever should not come with normal exhaustion. Begin antibiotics for mastitis.

Day 15: Hear that your stitches are healing nicely. Walk the dog for the first time in weeks.

Scout is 3 weeks old tomorrow!

The Baby Came a Week Early…And There Was Much Rejoicing

Guess who decided to grace us with her presence a week early at 6-something AM on February 20th?

Congrats to Carrie, BlissfulBrit, and 1PointPerspective for guessing the correct day!

Let’s just call her Baby Scout to go with Boo and Radley.

Help! My Baby is Twerking

Dear Baby Girl,

1:30 AM is not a good time to start twerking or doing the Harlem Shake in my tummy. Please go to sleep.

I have a feeling this won’t be the first time we have this conversation.

Love,

Your Mama

This is an old pic. The little stinker refuses to be in a good position for the ultrasounds. We’re 30 weeks.

It’s Spring…and It’s Snowing

5:15 AM: My alarm went off. I hit “Snooze.”

5:25 AM: My alarm went off again. I snoozed it again.

5:35 AM: My alarm went off. I turned it off.

5:50 AM: Craaaaaap. No yoga for me. I just want to go back to sleep!

5:51 AM: Wait…wasn’t it supposed to snow last night?

5:53 AM: I inch my way across the bed to peek out the window and see…

Obviously, I didn’t take this picture at 5:53 AM. I took it at 7:53 AM.

5:54 AM: I call work. There’s a 2-hour delay! Hells yeah! I can go back to sleep!

5:58 AM: I’m still awake. Probably just the excitement of the delay.

6:04 AM: I’m still awake.

6:15 AM: Still awake.

6:22 AM: Still…awake.

6:25 AM: Dammit. Yoga, it is.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “I never knew whether I should feel complimented or insulted when my cat used to groom me. At least he wasn’t covering me up with sand…”—Bluzdude