Tag Archives: I Can Fly

Airplane Safety: I Didn’t Need to Know That

I’ve been spending a lot of time on planes lately. And I hate it. All of it.

I hate…

  • Being crammed next to complete strangers.
  • Losing all feeling in my butt.
  • Standing in all of the lines. That’s all airports are. Lots and lots of lines.
  • Paying an arm and a leg for a pack of gum.
  • Imagining monsters on the wing of the plane….
Ahhhhhhh!

Ahhhhhhh!

As if that’s not bad enough…there’s also that whole plane crashing thing.

Sometimes I fly into Reagan National Airport. And I recently read this:

Pilots flying into Reagan National Airport have to dodge several no-fly zones located over our nation’s capital just to land. Most of central Washington is prohibited airspace up to 18,000 feet, so pilots are forced to follow the Potomac River in the “River Visual” approach, according to the FAA. While following the Potomac River pilots have to perform a 30- to 40-degree turn while close to the river to line up with the runway. This maneuver is what has caused some to place the airport on their scariest airports lists.

Grrrrrrreat….

After I finished my cupcake answered Kiefer’s proposal, we stopped by a park near Reagan where we watched the planes land. It was scary stuff.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “…You should have your guests toss sprinkles at the wedding exit.”—Angelia Sims


That Time I Passed Out in the Airplane Lavatory

If you were me, this is how your last flight would have gone….

3:30 AM: Wake up.

3:31 AM: Snooze.

3:40 AM: Curse yourself for choosing a 7 AM flight.

4:30 AM: Pat yourself on the back for not forgetting anything.

5:30 AM: Arrive at airport. Realize you forgot your pillow for the 5+ hour flight.

6:30 AM: Meet up with other coworkers. One gives you flavored vodka.

vodka

My coworker thinks I’m an alcoholic….

7:00 AM: Plane takes off. Fall asleep.

7:45 AM: Wake up feeling nauseous despite the dramamine.

7:46 AM: Try to wait it out.

7:47 AM: Contemplate if it’s better to puke in the bag or climb over 2 people to go to the bathroom.

7:48 AM: Envision enough puke to overflow the bag and decide on the bathroom.

7:49 AM: Faint in bathroom.

The bathroom I was in was approximately 1/100th of this size.

The bathroom I was in was approximately 1/100th of this size.

?:??: Wake up on bathroom floor and wonder how long you were out.

?:??: Check yourself for puke. There is none.

?:??: Wait to see if you’re going to puke.

?:??: Embarrassed that people will think you fell in (or are going #2), return to your seat.

7:55 AM: Tell your coworker you fainted. Remember the flavored vodka he gave you.

7:57: AM: Curse your doctor for prescribing an antibiotic you can’t drink with.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Whaaaattt? Never eat pie? Is this even Thoughtsy? No. Can’t be. It’s definitely a pod person!”—And Today Folks


This Is as Graceful as I Get

On Sunday, I tried something I’ve never tried before. I took an aerial fabric class.

It was awesome! We learned several different climbs, positions, etc.

No, I didn’t make it to the top of the fabric. (I made it about one third of the way up through some twisting and flipping. Sorry I don’t have pics.) Learning how to maneuver your feet and legs takes practice. Only one crazy monkey girl in our class rocked it to the top of the fabric by just climbing.

But you don’t have to make it to the top to do some fun stuff.

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Thoughtsy: How far up am I now? Should I look down?

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Thoughtsy: I think I’m tangled. At least I’m 6 inches off the ground.

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Oooo…so this is how it’s done.

Now, if you’ll excuse me…I need to spend the rest of the week icing my arms and abs.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Time to Die! I’m going to start using that as my response whenever anyone asks me what time it is.”—JM Randolph


I Believe I Can Fly

After years and years of searching for Tinkerbell, I finally found her…in LA. She has a vacation home there for when she needs a break from Neverland.

As soon as I saw her, instead of politely introducing myself, I reverted to my 29 4-year-old fairy-loving self, and I snatched her up between my hands.

What can I say? I panicked.

Then she bit me…which caused my cupped hands to open. And she flew away. I shouted an apology after her.

But on my hands, she left me some fairy dust, which I used to do this:

skydiving

I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to jump out of a plane. I’d be that person whose hands have to be pried off the seat…and then again off the door of the plane…and probably again from the instructor’s neck.

But indoor skydiving…that was awesome!

The instructor said I was a natural: I had perfect posture, he said. Which is why he flung me 20 feet up in the air and spun me around in circles on my first flight.

When I came back down, I may have checked the crotch of my flight suit…it was dry. Phew!

#10 on my 35 Before 35 accomplished!

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Oh come on, Thoughtsy. Admit it…you’ve been walking around LA in see through panties. You can’t fool us! I’ve done posts on my weird ones. Might be time to revisit them. Thanks for the idea. Have fun on the West Sahhhdddd.”—Misty’s Laws