Tag Archives: Greece

#6. Talk to the Hand

Last night I knocked out another item on my 30 Before 30 List by attending my first American Sign Language (ASL) class. That’s right. I said, “American.”

ASL Fun Fact #1 (Excuse me while I act like Ted Mosby at the Empire State Building): Every country uses different sign language. Except for Canada. They use ASL. Thank you, Canada, for making my life a little easier.


The first hour of class our instructor had an interpreter, but the last hour and a half, we were on our own to communicate.

I immediately started waving my hands around to act like I already knew some sign language.

Not really. I sat there afraid to move because I didn’t want anyone to think I knew what I was doing.

Ever since I remembered that my class was on Monday (I remembered on Sunday), I was scared. I took Latin in school, and I rocked it.

I rocked Latin because:

  • We also learned a lot about mythology and the culture from that time. I love that stuff. If my parents would have paid for me to major in Greek and Roman mythology, I would have.
  • I didn’t have to speak it. I was shy and preferred not talking.
  • The language was written and writing things repetitvely is one of the best ways I learn.

How was going to write ASL? I can’t even draw a stick figure! How am I supposed to draw hand signs and movements? I’m going to fail!

Calm down, I told myself. You have an English degree. Although the English language is a little weird, you ‘ll do fine because you know all the parts of a sentence and know the difference between passive and active voice.

And then I learned these fun facts about ASL:

  • Facial expressions relay the grammar of a sentence. For example, raising or lowering my eyebrows indicates the subject. Sometimes my eyebrows have a mind of their own. What if one goes up while the other goes down?
  • You determine the tense by how far away your hands are from your body. For future tense should my hands be 8 inches or 2 feet away from my body? What if I’m feeling lazy one day and don’t stretch my arms out far enough?
  • And the signs for bathroom and Tuesday are almost identical! I already see my future on this one. I’ll want to meet the teacher for tutoring on Tuesday and I say, “I’ll meet you in the bathroom.”

And then she’ll fail me.

I’ll Eat Anything…Except for That. And That.

Once upon a time, there lived an adorable young lady. But as adorable as she was, unfortunately this young lady was incredibly naive. Especially when it came to food.

One night a handsome man, let’s call him “Kiefer Sutherland,” asked her out on a date. The next day they both went to a Beer Festival. The adorable young lady didn’t like beer, but she still had an amazing time with Kiefer chatting and jumping in the moonbounce.

A few dates later…

Kiefer: Would you like to go out to dinner tonight, Adorable?

Adorable (batting eyelashes): Yes, I’d love to!

Kiefer: Well, what kind of food do you like?

Adorable blushed. She’d been so busy talking about desserts, she forgot to mention that she did indeed eat nondessert food.

Adorable: Oh, I’ll eat just about anything. I’m not picky.

So Kiefer decided to take Adorable to the Mediterranean Grill because she’d never been there. As Adorable perused the menu, panic set it.

  • What the hell kind of salad comes with pistachios, sunflower seeds, and green raisins? It would take her forever to pick all of that off.
  • Why does everything have eggplant in it?
  • Babaghannush? That’s a real food? She thought it was a gibberish word Bugs Bunny made up.
  • Cacik? Yogurt with cucumbers? Eww. She liked her yogurt with fruit.

She didn’t want anything on the menu. And although she ordered a salad and tried a stuffed grape leaf, she hated it. All of it.

Every day since, Kiefer has teased her. Finally Adorable realized that she really was a picky eater…extremely picky.

The End.

Consider this post the background information needed for #9 and #10 on the 30 Before 30 List. Posts are forthcoming.

PS: Please tell me they have more than eggplant and stuffed grape leaves to eat in the Mediterranean. If not, I’ll need to pack a lot of Pop-Tarts when I finally go there.

*Thank you Artichoke Hearts for the image. I’m sure people who actually like stuffed grape leaves would find these very tasty. If these contributed to the engagement you mention, let me know, and I’ll learn to love ’em.

Like Winning Your Own Money from the Lottery

The day has finally come that we (ask anyone who knows the history) all thought would never arrive. Any minute now a pig will fly by your window. I’m just giving you a heads up, so you don’t panic.

Mephistopheles has mailed the last check for the totaled truck, the check has cleared, and all contact can be officially cut off. And there was much rejoicing! (Does anyone ever get this Monty Python reference?)

It’s actually weird that I’m so excited about the money. Really, it was my money in the first place. If I had never put my name on that stupid truck loan with the ex, I wouldn’t have had to pay for part of it when he totaled the truck, and I’d have had this money all along. See Idiot and Idioms if you’re clueless as to what I’m talking about.

So now I have to decide what to do with my newly returned money. 

  • Saving it! I can’t help my thrifty and frugal nature.
  • Sailing away! I’m going on a cruise, ladies and gentlemen. Don’t know where yet, but I’m going. I’m thinking a Mediterranean cruise. Then I can go on a cruise and hit up Italy and Greece (all of which I’ve never done.)
  • Shopping! There may be a small shopping spree in my future. Arms full of books and clothes!
  • Something else! But it has to begin with “S.”

And the first thing I’m doing is more Alase. In fact, my first appointment is this afternoon.

Years ago, I had Alase (laser hair removal) on the lower half of my legs. I’m pretty pleased with the results. Most of the hair is gone completely, and I don’t have to shave the little bit that is left very often.

So what’s being zapped this afternoon? Lean in, lean in closer because I’m going to blog whisper. My bikini area. My face turned bright red just typing it.

That particular area is 50% off special this month, so I took that as a sign. And it means no more waxing. Woo-hoo!

What I’m not woo-hooing about is having a laser pointed down there…at my woo-hoo. (Isn’t that what some people call it?)

Kiefer Sutherland is in Africa…Stupid Africa

Why am I picking on Africa today? Because my boyfriend is there (for work) and not here.  He hasn’t been here for 2 weeks! Since I’ve yet to mention my boyfriend in the blog, let’s call him Kiefer Sutherland (I’ve been told they look alike).

In addition to Africa not being closer, it also has crappy cell phone service. On Saturday Kiefer Sutherland and I played phone tag because first I missed his call, and then my call wouldn’t go through, and then his call wouldn’t go through, then his call got dropped, and on and on.

I’m also blaming Africa for the pain my hand is in. Because Kiefer comes home Saturday, I’ve been grading essays like a madwoman, so I can devote as much time as possible this weekend to cuddling.

Why couldn’t Kiefer have been sent some place cool so I could go with him? Like Italy or Greece. Although an extremely drawn out “awwww” I made upon hearing the story of how he got to pet a cheetah (or some big cat, I can’t remember) escaped my lips, the cat is no match for the kick-ass and cool Colloseum or mighty Mount Vesuvius or dazzling Delphi. 

Italy or Greece? Where should I go? Discuss.