Buy Milk. Ring Mum. Dodge Zombies.

Halloween is tomorrow! To celebrate—and pick up pointers for my costume—I watched Shaun of the Dead. Plus it gave me tips to survive zombie attacks.

Let’s face it. If zombies are going to attack, Halloween is the perfect time because everyone will just assume the zombies are normal people in costume.

On second thought, that might be giving zombies too much credit.

Here’s what I learned:

• To the untrained  eye, zombies look like drunks.
• Think carefully, is that lady trying to kiss you or eat you?
• Throwing a pillow at a zombie will not kill it.
• When the zombie apocalypse happens, head to the bar.
  

  The best way to make it to the bar is to act like a zombie.

• Wrecking your junky car gives you an excuse to drive a cooler car.
• Jumping over a fence will mostly likely lead to it—and you—falling over.
• There is no “i” in “Team,” but there is an “i” in “pie.”
• If you help your exgirlfriend survive a zombie attack, you will win her back.

The most important thing I learned is to watch the news. The poor blokes in this movie didn’t watch the news, so they had no idea that zombies were running around.

I don’t watch the news. That means I’ll be the last one to know the zombie apocalypse has arrived.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “I say think big, and register for a year of college tuition.”—Bluzdude

Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Clown?

Some people are afraid of clowns. What is it about clowns that are scary? Is it the big noses? The face paint? The giant shoes?

Gosh, I hope it’s not the shoes. Because my feet are kind of big. I hope I’m not scaring people.

In an attempt to understand coulrophobia, I watched Killer Klowns From Outer Space. Because alien clowns are probably extra scary.

Just in case alien clowns ever attack, here’s what you need to know to survive:

• Clowns wrap their victims in pink cotton candy cocoons or giant balloons.
• Never break a clown’s bike. He’ll decapitate you.
• Shadow puppets from clowns can eat you.

As dangerous as Jurassic Park.

• Circus tents are alien spaceships.
• To kill a clown, just destroy his nose.

This is your worst nightmare.

The most important thing you need to know is some clowns throw pies made of acid that will melt you. To be safe, never eat pie.

Wait…that’s an extreme overreaction. I can’t believe I just said that. I blame jet lag.

A big thank you to all the guest bloggers from last week! You rock!

You’ve Got to Bat Your Eyes…Like This

Growing up, I was a total tomboy. I couldn’t tell you exactly when I became girly, but I suspect it was around prom…because the dresses were pretty.

For a girl, I’m pretty low maintenance. I usually wear eye makeup, but I only use foundation on special occasions. Makeup takes time, and I have no patience. Plus, I never really figured out how to use blush correctly.

When I first heard about eyelash extensions, I thought:

Perfect! Now I won’t have to use mascara. Woo-hoo for 3.14 extra minutes of sleep! Sweet!

Extensions normally cost between $150-200. So I cheaped out, and let my nail salon do them for $60. They fell off the next day.

When I saw that a real salon had an eyelash extension special for $50, I tried one more time.

Now if I can just get rid of the nasty red vein in my eye….

The picture was taken 2 weeks after my appointment…which means some fell out. You can imagine how awesome they looked when I first got them.

Apparently, I have more eyelashes than the average person, so it took almost 3 hours to put on a full set of lashes (because they put them on one-by-one).

As the technician handed me a mirror, she said, “They’ll be even more dramatic if you put mascara on!”

I could see spiders my lashes in the mirror across the room. No mascara needed.

Now I’m used to them, and I love them. But when I first saw them, I was shocked into girly overload…hence this text conversation:

Me: OMG…These eyelashes make me look like a hooker!

Friend: And you’re worth every penny.

 Kudos to the person who guesses what movie the post title is from.

#15. Dangerously Delicious Pies

Saturday I went to the Baltimore Roller Derby with Misty, which we’ll be posting about soon, but while in Baltimore, we also went to Dangerously Delicious Pies.

Mmmmm…pie.

Thoughtsy: Hello. I’m here for your pie.

I always color coordinate my shirt with my pie filling.

Except before I could have pie, I needed to pregame. Here’s how I prepped during the day:

• A handful of peanut M&Ms for protein.
• Two Girl Scout cookie Samoas for…because I’m addicted to them because they’re in season.
• A cupcake because Misty gave it to me.

All of that prepping for this:

Dean from Supernatural would be proud....

 Misty with the the Baltimore Bomb; I opted for the Mixed Berry Pie, and because the guy (who had incredibly long eyelashes that I would kill for) thought my slice was lacking strawberries, he gave us an extra slice of a different type of berry pie for free. Free pie!

And it was delicious. I usually leave behind the crust not saturated with juicy fruit filling, but there was so much yummy filling that I ate the crust, too.

Look at all that fruit filling....

I can’t wait to go back and try another flavor.

My only recommendation: fruit-filled pies should have an ice cream option. I luuuuuve ice cream on fruit pie.

Also, in case you’re wondering, pie is the only exception to the chocolate-to-fruit ratio.

#15 on my 35 Before 35 is complete! However, I may need to repeat it every time I’m in Baltimore.