Tag Archives: Fashion

You’ve Got to Bat Your Eyes…Like This

Growing up, I was a total tomboy. I couldn’t tell you exactly when I became girly, but I suspect it was around prom…because the dresses were pretty.

For a girl, I’m pretty low maintenance. I usually wear eye makeup, but I only use foundation on special occasions. Makeup takes time, and I have no patience. Plus, I never really figured out how to use blush correctly.

When I first heard about eyelash extensions, I thought:

Perfect! Now I won’t have to use mascara. Woo-hoo for 3.14 extra minutes of sleep! Sweet!

Extensions normally cost between $150-200. So I cheaped out, and let my nail salon do them for $60. They fell off the next day.

When I saw that a real salon had an eyelash extension special for $50, I tried one more time.

Now if I can just get rid of the nasty red vein....

Now if I can just get rid of the nasty red vein in my eye….

The picture was taken 2 weeks after my appointment…which means some fell out. You can imagine how awesome they looked when I first got them.

Apparently, I have more eyelashes than the average person, so it took almost 3 hours to put on a full set of lashes (because they put them on one-by-one).

As the technician handed me a mirror, she said, “They’ll be even more dramatic if you put mascara on!”

I could see spiders my lashes in the mirror across the room. No mascara needed.

Now I’m used to them, and I love them. But when I first saw them, I was shocked into girly overload…hence this text conversation:

Me: OMG…These eyelashes make me look like a hooker!

Friend: And you’re worth every penny.

 Kudos to the person who guesses what movie the post title is from.


Is That Potpourri in Your Pocket?

…or are you just happy to see me?

Yes, I just went there. Somebody had to say it.

Summer. It’s the season when the temperature rises, and we suck on popsicles, strip down to our swimsuits, and jump in the nearest pool to cool off.

It’s also the season when I lose 5 pounds just by sweating oozing glistening.

To combat sweatiness and stinkiness, I wear deodorant/anti-perspirant. And I get my underarms waxed. It hasn’t been proven yet, but I swear waxing works…probably by ripping out the underarm* sweat glands.

Anyways, I’ve always wondered what crunchy, all-natural, nondeodrant-wearing hippies do to keep from smelling. Now I know the answer.

Potpourri.

While I was shopping, I found a shirt with a little pack of potpourri attached. My guess is you put in your pocket so it overpowers any body odor.

Mystery solved. Crunchy case closed.

*To Kiefer: Women call them “underarms,” not “armpits.”

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Of course Babe Ruth isn’t a girl. It’s a candy bar. I expected more from you, Thoughtsy.”—Go Guilty Pleasures

Sorry for slacking earlier this week on picking favorite comments. Tori and Linda, I added your comments to the last 2 posts. 


Say Cheese and Wedgies!

Pop quiz, hot shot! You see someone dressed like the pic below. What do you do? What…do…you…do? (A gold star for anyone who gets the movie reference.)

For the love of God, pick your wedgie!

Hopefully, you answered in one of two ways:

  1. Whip out your camera and snap a picture.
  2. Stall, stall, stall the specimen while you call Misty to tell her you have an excellent specimen for Weekly Whacked.

I’m working on developing (BWAHAHAHA!) my camera skills, so I don’t have to bother Misty. In the past, when I’ve seen someone dressed funny, I whip out my camera, and then…I chicken out.

Luckily, I got some practice at the Warrior Dash, where people tend to run the obstacle-filled 5k in costumes.

I saw fairies:

Clap your hands so Tinkerbell doesn’t die in the fire!

Some ladies turned it into a formal occasion. Bad idea, ladies! Dresses will hold a lot of mud and weigh you down!

I missed the women running in their wedding dresses.

If you don’t want to run the Warrior Dash, you can “Jump On It” and dance the Tonto like Papa Smurf.

Papa Smurf doing the Tonto dance.

I also saw Ironic Mom’s babysitter.

Cat in the Hat…but I don’t see Thing 1 and Thing 2.

 Favorite Comment From Last Post: “I got the audio book and pretended we were hanging out in the car and Jenny was telling me a story. That’s kind of as weird as showing/not showing her your shirt, right?”—The Suniverse


You Remind Me of the Babe

You remind me of the babe. What babe? The babe with the power. What power? The power of voodoo. Who do? You do. Do what? Remind me of the babe.

Have you ever noticed that the movie Labyrinth is a lot like The Wizard of Oz?

Let’s do a comparison:

  • Munchkins = Goblins (avoids the issue of how PC the term “Munchkins” is)
  • Dorothy = Sarah (except brattier and more dramatic)
  • “There’s no place like home.” = “You have no power over me.” (more feminism)
  • Yellow Brick Road = Labyrinth (The road was too easy.)
  • Wicked Witch of the West = David Bowie (except more fashionable)

The similarities are amazing, aren’t they?

It’s a tale as old as time. Girl ends up in a strange land. She makes some new friends. They travel to the Emerald/Goblin City. Someone melts or turns into an owl. Happens all the time.

Rewatching this movie just proved how oblivious innocent I was as a child. As an adult, I kept staring at David Bowie’s…pants.

Dude...Stop looking at my...pants!

I did manage to take some notes about what I learned from the movie:

  • If you want goblins to take away your baby brother, just say, “I wish the goblins would come take you away.”
  • An oubliette is a place you put people…to forget about them.
  • Watch out for poison apples peaches.
  • Fairies bite; they don’t grant wishes.
  • The only person who grants wishes is Bowie in crotch-hugging pants.
  • Slapping babies will make them pee.

This movie should have included a tutorial on how to do that crystal ball spinning thing. But since it didn’t, the most important thing I learned is David Bowie may be Macaulay Culkin’s inspiration.

The Originator of the Home Alone Face


My Cat Is a Slave to Fashion

Don’t let my cat fool you. She loves fashion. So when some bloggers sent me some stuff, Esme was all over it. Literally.

This work of art is from Thy‘s daughter, 13. You may recall the bat and penguin 13 and her brother sent me last year.

In response to this Hello Kitty rendering, Esme says…

To 13: Hello 13! I love your drawing. Only next time could you send Chococat? Chococat looks more like me.

To Thoughtsy: Thoughtsy, why the heck haven’t you gotten me a hula skirt yet?

Esme also had something to say about the slap bracelet from GoGuiltyPleasures.

Jules is cool, and she’s a new blog crush, and most importantly, she shares my love of Glee. She made me Chief Chipmunk, and I’m not entirely sure what that entails, but I’m think it gives me license to shove tons of cookies in my cheeks.

Go check out more slap bracelet pics and Jules’s blog!

Esme: How the heck does this thing work?

It’s not your fault, Esme. Slap bracelets were before your time….