Tag Archives: Fairy

I Believe I Can Fly

After years and years of searching for Tinkerbell, I finally found her…in LA. She has a vacation home there for when she needs a break from Neverland.

As soon as I saw her, instead of politely introducing myself, I reverted to my 29 4-year-old fairy-loving self, and I snatched her up between my hands.

What can I say? I panicked.

Then she bit me…which caused my cupped hands to open. And she flew away. I shouted an apology after her.

But on my hands, she left me some fairy dust, which I used to do this:

skydiving

I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to jump out of a plane. I’d be that person whose hands have to be pried off the seat…and then again off the door of the plane…and probably again from the instructor’s neck.

But indoor skydiving…that was awesome!

The instructor said I was a natural: I had perfect posture, he said. Which is why he flung me 20 feet up in the air and spun me around in circles on my first flight.

When I came back down, I may have checked the crotch of my flight suit…it was dry. Phew!

#10 on my 35 Before 35 accomplished!

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Oh come on, Thoughtsy. Admit it…you’ve been walking around LA in see through panties. You can’t fool us! I’ve done posts on my weird ones. Might be time to revisit them. Thanks for the idea. Have fun on the West Sahhhdddd.”—Misty’s Laws


Say Cheese and Wedgies!

Pop quiz, hot shot! You see someone dressed like the pic below. What do you do? What…do…you…do? (A gold star for anyone who gets the movie reference.)

For the love of God, pick your wedgie!

Hopefully, you answered in one of two ways:

  1. Whip out your camera and snap a picture.
  2. Stall, stall, stall the specimen while you call Misty to tell her you have an excellent specimen for Weekly Whacked.

I’m working on developing (BWAHAHAHA!) my camera skills, so I don’t have to bother Misty. In the past, when I’ve seen someone dressed funny, I whip out my camera, and then…I chicken out.

Luckily, I got some practice at the Warrior Dash, where people tend to run the obstacle-filled 5k in costumes.

I saw fairies:

Clap your hands so Tinkerbell doesn’t die in the fire!

Some ladies turned it into a formal occasion. Bad idea, ladies! Dresses will hold a lot of mud and weigh you down!

I missed the women running in their wedding dresses.

If you don’t want to run the Warrior Dash, you can “Jump On It” and dance the Tonto like Papa Smurf.

Papa Smurf doing the Tonto dance.

I also saw Ironic Mom’s babysitter.

Cat in the Hat…but I don’t see Thing 1 and Thing 2.

 Favorite Comment From Last Post: “I got the audio book and pretended we were hanging out in the car and Jenny was telling me a story. That’s kind of as weird as showing/not showing her your shirt, right?”—The Suniverse


#27. Gaze Into My Crystal Ball and Tell Me What You See

On Sunday the Hipster and I visited Ellicott City where I accomplished #27 on my 30 Before 30 List…twice.

First, I visited Merlin at the Forget Me Not Factory. I figured if anyone could tell me my future, it would be him.

He said, “You’ve been trying to figure out the best time to travel. You’re wondering if a business trip or vacation would be good. You may be wondering if to travel is a better thing than to arrive….”

There’s a lot more about traveling, and then he gave me a card with my lucky numbers: 39, 34, 28, 8, 2, 32.

I’m also happy to report that I didn’t change into a child, like Tom Hanks in Big.

If you’re ever in Ellicott City, go to the historic part of town and visit the Forget Me Not Factory. The stores has tons of fairy stuff, fun toys, and lots of Christmas and Halloween displays.

Next up, the Hipster accompanied me while a psychic read my palm.

She said….

  • I will live to be 85 or 90.
  • I’ll marry my soulmate.
  • I’ll have 2 children.
  • Although there will be some obstacles over the next few months at work and in my relationship, everything will work itself out.
  • My lucky number is 7. Merlin didn’t list 7. Who should I believe?

Hipster, did I forget anything?

The psychic also said that although I listen to people and help them through their problems, very few people listen to me.

Are you listening? Anyone out there? Hello? Hello?! Can you hear me now?


I Am Not a Crook, Er…Slut

I’ve been a little hesitant to discuss my Halloween costume. Why? Because I don’t want you to be disappointed in me.

Don’t you hate it when people say you “disappointed” them? Ugh. It’s awful. Why can’t they be mad at you instead? Then you can yell back and say why you’re mad at them.

Anyways, I’m just going to blurt out my Halloween costume and get it over with.

 

You'll notice I've put down my wand so I can eat a cupcake.

 

Tinkerbell? Uh, Thoughtsy, how old are you? 5?

SHUT UP!

I mean, please allow me to explain.

  1. In reality, I’m Absinthe aka The Green Fairy. But everyone assumed I’m Tinkerbell. Like you just did…ass-u-mer.
  2. I’m obsessed with fairies. My fairy obsession rivals my Pop-Tart and chocolate obsessions. Yeah, it’s that bad.
  3. Next year, I’ll be 30. And I’ll have to put away childish things. Once I turn 30, I’m not sure I’m allowed to dress up as Tinkerbell/Absinthe or any cutesy fairy.
  4. I know what some of you are thinking. Look at how short that dress is! But that’s what Tinkerbell/Absinthe really wears (Didn’t you see Moulin Rouge?). Besides the costume comes with a variety of safety features.
  5. The wings light up. I’m be highly visible to cars, so they don’t run me over.
  6. The costume comes with a wand, which I can use as a weapon to beat off obnoxious people  candy stealers stalkers.
  7. The costume comes with a purse. I have asthma. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a costume with a pocket or purse to hold an inhaler? Filling the purse with candy allows it to double as a sock-full-of-quarters type weapon. (If you get the sock/quarters reference, you rock.)

Happy Halloween!