Tag Archives: drunken munchies

Buy Milk. Ring Mum. Dodge Zombies.

Halloween is tomorrow! To celebrate—and pick up pointers for my costume—I watched Shaun of the Dead. Plus it gave me tips to survive zombie attacks.

Let’s face it. If zombies are going to attack, Halloween is the perfect time because everyone will just assume the zombies are normal people in costume.

On second thought, that might be giving zombies too much credit.

Here’s what I learned:

  • To the untrained  eye, zombies look like drunks.
  • Think carefully, is that lady trying to kiss you or eat you?
  • Throwing a pillow at a zombie will not kill it.
  • When the zombie apocalypse happens, head to the bar.

    The best way to make it to the bar is to act like a zombie.

  • Wrecking your junky car gives you an excuse to drive a cooler car.
  • Jumping over a fence will mostly likely lead to it—and you—falling over.
  • There is no “i” in “Team,” but there is an “i” in “pie.”
  • If you help your exgirlfriend survive a zombie attack, you will win her back.

The most important thing I learned is to watch the news. The poor blokes in this movie didn’t watch the news, so they had no idea that zombies were running around.

I don’t watch the news. That means I’ll be the last one to know the zombie apocalypse has arrived.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “I say think big, and register for a year of college tuition.”—Bluzdude

The Best Worst Holiday Food

Did you see the new David Zinczenko article about the 7 Worst Holiday Foods? There’s a second author: Matt Goulding. I don’t know what to make of this new author.

Did the TPing of the Zincster’s house make him back off? Or did he just hire a scapegoat? Is this Matt Goulding sidekick going to be a good influence or a bad influence?

Let’s see…shall we?

  1. Starbucks Peppermint Mocha. Ewww. I don’t like coffee anyways.
  2. Eggnog. Ewww. I don’t like…nog.
  3. Dunkin’ Donuts Cinnamon Swirl Muffin. I’ve never had it, but it sounds good. They suggest getting Munchkins instead which seems like an ok compromise.
  4. Reese’s Peanut Butter Snowman. Get the mini Christmas tree instead? Good advice, but what about people who don’t celebrate Christmas? Is there a peanut butter dreidel?
  5. Denny’s Turkey Melt with Fries. Puh-lease. I haven’t been to a Denny’s since college for drunken munchie food.
  6. IHOP Eggnog Pancakes. Why get those when you can get the new cinnastack ones? It’s like a giant cinnamon bun pancake…with crack.

    Cinna-crack Pancakes

  7. Dairy Queen Reindeer Bites Blizzard. Ice cream? Caramel? Chocolate chunks? Pie crust?

I…uh…have to run out for a minute. Please discuss below. I’ll be right back.