Tag Archives: Death by Chocolate

Does Strawberry Jelly Count as Fruit?

How many fruit servings should you eat per day? 2? 3? 5? Let’s consult the food pyramid.

But do we still use the pyramid? I thought we were using a circle because it looks like a plate. What if all my plates are triangle shaped? Does that mean I’m a nonconformist or behind-the-times because I’m using plates that look like pyramids?

Anyways, I think I eat enough fruit.

  • Fruit-filled Pop-Tarts
  • Blueberry muffins
  • Peanut butter and jelly (strawberry or raspberry) sandwiches
  • Strawberry Frosted MiniWheats
  • Orange or cherry popsicles
  • Oatmeal raisin granola bars
  • Fruit By the Foot.*

Recently, I found a new way to incorporate even more fruit into my diet.

Don't judge me.

Milk chocolate with cherries, dark chocolate with blueberries and lavendar,** dark chocolate and blueberries, and white chocolate and strawberries.***

Chocolate and fruit. Together. Living in harmony. And living in my tummy.

Also, you’ll notice that I don’t discriminate against chocolate. White, milk, and dark—I love it all.

*For those of you going into shock, every day I eat at least 3 real fruits.

**I’m worried that the dark chocolate, blueberry, and lavendar bar may be a horrible, horrible mistake. But does lavendar count as a vegetable serving?

***This weekend I made a smore with the white chocolate and strawberries. Let’s just say I’ll definitely be having smore.


I Love You…But Not More Than Chocolate

I finally realize why Valentine’s Day is so stressful for men. Look at this chocolate bar I bought for my boyfriend Kiefer.

I just set myself up for failure.

When I bought the chocolate bar, my initial thoughts were…

Awwww…. A chocolate bar that says, I love you very much! I’ll get that for Kiefer for Valentine’s Day…and when he eats it, I’ll get a piece.

But now I see that this chocolate bar may mean the end of our relationship. Why?

  • How many Very boxes do I check?
  • Do I leave one box unchecked until we’re engaged? I mean, why buy the cow if you get all the Verys for free?
  • What if all the ink from the checks seeps into the chocolate bar, and Kiefer and I die from ink poisoning? Sounds like a Romeo-Juliet-esque death by chocolate. I like it.

Of course, the even bigger question is Do I love Kiefer more than chocolate? Chocolate and I have known each other my entire life. Kiefer and I have only known each other 3.5 years.

  • If I check the Not More Than Chocolate box, Kiefer’s feelings will be hurt.
  • If I check the More Than Chocolate box, Kiefer will know I’m lying.

Help! How many Very boxes do I check? And what do I do about the Chocolate checkboxes?

You hold the future of my relationship in your hands. Choose wisely.

Happy Valentine’s Day!