Are You Trying to Kill Me?

Right before I left for Greece, my coworker Ddot relayed a crazy pregnancy story about his wife.

When she was pregnant, she spent a lot of time on bedrest. One time while she was upstairs, she called downstairs to Ddot because she was hungry.

Ddot: I just finished up the dishes. Want me to bring up some of the ham we had yesterday?

Ddot’s Wife: Are you trying to kill me? ::begins crying::

Hormones are crazy things. While he comforted his wife, he asked her what she wanted instead. Her answer: a Whopper…with cheese.

I found the story hilarious and relayed it to Kiefer…and it became the tagline for our entire Greece trip.

• We ordered shrimp…which came with the heads on them. ::shudder:: I said, “Are you trying to kill me?”
• We ate frozen yogurt. Greek frozen yogurt does not taste like American frozen yogurt. Kiefer said, “Are you trying to kill me?”
• An hour later, I wanted a popsicle. Kiefer said,  “Are you trying to kill me?” Amateur….
• The day after I arrived I slept from 8 AM to 1 PM when Kiefer finally made me get up to go to the Acroplis. I said, “Are you trying to kill me?”
• The stones at the Acropolis are very slippery. Kiefer was definitely trying to kill me.

• Kiefer made plans to stay on the island of Milos…which meant a 4-hour ferry ride. I get motion sickness, so I said, “Are you trying to kill me?” Death by puking.
• When a little girl hounded us to buy a fan from her and my polite declines didn’t deter her, Kiefer scolded her in Russian. The look in her eyes said, “Are you trying to kill me?”

We spent our time in Athens and on the island of Milos. And I learned a lot, such as…

• The correct pronunciation of Greek for “please” and “thank you.”
• You can’t take pictures in the Acropolis Museum. Oops.

A photo Misty-style.

• Baklava has nuts in it; therefore, it counts as a protein. I ate a lot of protein.

#25 on my 35 Before 35 List completed!

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “I saw Home Alone as an in-flight movie once. When it was over, a kid got up and very carefully arranged a bunch of little toy cars in the plane aisle.”—Laura

This Is Why I Blog

The other day I read a new blog. It was funny, so I left a comment. When I returned the next day, I saw this.

Here my initial thoughts when I read that post.

• Oooo…it says “stalkers” in the title. Stalkers are fun. They’re like ninjas.
• Oooo…she met a celebrity. I hope it was someone hot.
• Oooo…it was Thoughtsy of Thoughts Appear. I hear she’s hot.
• Waaaait…what? That’s me!

Miss Four Eyes dedicated a post to mwah. Although she’s only recently started her own blog, she’s been reading my blog for awhile.

Here’s part of her post that may or may not have brought tears to my eyes. I’m breaking it up into bullets, so I can add in my commentary.

• You taught me exactly what the appropriate chocolate to fruit ratio is. Thank goodness somebody got this! I’m still beating Ddot over the head with this one.
• You showed me that even though you might meet really sucky guys there are always good ones waiting for you somewhere. I truly believe the good guys outnumber the bad ones.
• You taught me not to settle for something if I’m not okay with it.
• I should go for what I want in life. Especially if what you want is dessert.
• You’ve shown me that learning is a constant process, and that it never really stops. You taught me that the most obvious things in life might be the funniest ones. I laugh at everything. Especially myself.  Except when I trip and fall. That’s not funny.

Miss Four Eyes said, “You are the reason I started blogging.”

Well, Miss Four Eyes, I’m looking forward to learning about you through your blog. And today I’m blog crushing on you. Because you are the reason I started blogging.

• I blog because I want to bring a little laughter to someone who’s having a bad day.
• I blog because when I’m having a bad day I want someone to tell me tomorrow will be better.
• I blog because somewhere someone is going through the same thing as me. Readers, you’re not alone.
• I blog to give my thoughts a voice.
• I blog because that’s the only way I can justify eating as much dessert as I do.

Why do you blog?

R-E-S-P-E-C-T…That’s What Chocolate Means to Me

Yogi Castle Visit #33

Ddot and I went to Yogi Castle the other day. Which frozen yogurt do you think is mine, and which do you think is Ddot’s?

Frozen Yogurt A

Fruit Flavored Yogurt, Mango, Pineapple, Strawberry

Frozen Yogurt B

Cake Batter and Chocolate Frozen Yogurts, Heath Bar, Caramel and Chocolate Syrups

If you think A is mine, you’re stupid obviously, you’re new here. You should probably read this post on acceptable chocolate to fruit ratios.

Basically, it says you should always have more chocolate than fruit. Or, if you’re like me, always have only chocolate and no fruit.

Moving on to the next order of business…Frozen Yogurt for Breakfast: For or Against?

Yogi Castle now has Fruity Pebbles and Captain Crunch as toppings. Who knows how long they’ve been there. I usually only notice chocolate stuff.

It seems misleading to have cereal as toppings. I can’t go there for breakfast anyway because Yogi Castle doesn’t open until 11. I know this because I spent Sunday morning pressed up against the glass drooling and clawing until my fingers bleeded bled. 

What’s your favorite topping? Why doesn’t Yogi Castle have broken Pop-Tarts as a topping? How much longer should I put up with Ddot’s chocolate vs. fruit disrespect?

I’m in Your Fridge…Stealing Your Fruit

Remember Ddot? He’s the fruit-but-no-chocolate-on-frozen-yogurt offender.*

Did you see what he did? He taunted all of us in the comments. Are you gonna let him get away with that?

And now he’s sending me evidence of each fruit infraction. He sent me this the other night:

Exhibit A: Note the lack of chocolate and the abundance of fruit on his ice cream.

He’s rubbing my nose in his fruity ice cream…. Let’s get him.

I can think of only one solution: Stealing all the fruit from his fridge and leaving this ransom note:

I used cut outs because I don't want this note to be traced back to me....

Obviously,  the note will be more intimidating when it’s not laying on my heart blanket.

*The Yogi Castle incident was actually his second offense. Ddot did the same thing when we got ice cream in San Antonio.