Remember how I’m supposed to be dating myself?
Last weekend I checked off Take a long walk.
Only I changed it to Take a long, sweat-inducing hike because that allows for more dessert consumption.
Since I went hiking the same weekend as the Via Ferrata, I started out slow. First, I hiked the 1-mile moderate level trail, and then I hiked a 2-mile moderate trail.
How was it? Let’s just say I didn’t feel guilty about drinking a hot chocolate and eating 2 smores later that night.
Basically, my thought process during the hike went like this:
- Why am I starting out walking all downhill?
- ::slipping on leaves:: Stupid leaves.
- I can’t believe I’m still walking down hill.
- ::slipping on more leaves:: Stupid leaves. Maybe I shouldn’t have gone hiking by myself. I’m gonna slip and fall and die of exposure…and lack of Pop-Tarts. OMG I CAN’T BELIEVE I FORGOT POP-TARTS!
- Finally…an incline.
- Still going up.
- Still up? Seriously?
- Can’t…stop…. If I stop, I’ll never start again.
- Soooooo hot. Can I strip down and continue the hike nekkid?
I did stop once briefly to ponder wandering into this:
But I decided against it. Monsters live in places like that. And if not monsters, definitely something that bites.
I cried for all the things I had given, only to have them stolen; for all the things I asked for that had yet to show up.
Recently, I put aside my current reads (The 19th Wife and The Help) to read The Breakup Book by Diane Mastromarino.
The book had an equation to figure out how long it takes to get over your ex. When I plugged in all the numbers, it said 384.8 months. So…
A. I did the math wrong.
B. The author wants me to get depressed and become a crazy old cat lady.
C. It was a mistake to break up with Kiefer.
D. The author wants me to feel good about myself when I get over Kiefer in less than 384.8 months.
E. There is no equation for how long it takes to get an over an ex.
The book said to date yourself, fall in love with you. And I’m going to do just that:
- Buy a new outfit.
- Buy yourself flowers.
- Take a long walk.
- Have a cocktail.
“Buy yourself ice cream” wasn’t on the list, but I added it.
Vanilla Ice Cream with Snickers Topping
If you’re going through a breakup, maybe this will help you. Here’s a list of Don’ts.
- Don’t call, email, text, etc. Don’t play the role he expects you to play. And give him a chance to miss you.
- You can be sad, but not when your ex is around.
- When you start dating again, don’t rush. Start slow.
Here’s a list of To Dos.
- Do whatever you need to do at this moment to make your heart feel better…as long as it’s not one of those things listed above.
- Be busy.
- Dwell a little on his flaws.
- Look good. It’ll make you feel better.
- Lean on your friends.