Tag Archives: crunchy

21 Jump Street

When we found out Boo watched 21 Jump Street with his cousin, we asked what he thought of the movie.

Boo’s Review of 21 Jump Street: “A guy’s penis gets shot off!”

Grrrrrreat.

And because the last time I saw Channing Tatum was in Magic Mike  witnessed a penis injury was in Piranha, I decided to watch 21 Jump Street. Here’s what I learned:

  • Inappropriate Frisbee throwing and duck feeding are police matters.
  • When you’re a cop, you deal more with homeless dudes than car chases and explosions.
  • 37 Jump Street just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
  • You have the right to be an attorney. That’s in the Miranda Rights.
  • Every good party needs a compost.
  • Glee made the cool kids uncool.

Ice Cube says never Two Strap it. Ever.

And because it’s back-to-school season, the most important thing I learned involves bookbag etiquette. Two strapping is uncool. One strap is alright. But no strap it if you can.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Right?! I will have some pumpkin-flavored creamer in my pumpkin-flavored coffee after I use the bathroom with my pumpkin-scented plug-in and wash my hands with my pumpkin-scented soap. While cooking pumpkin soup and sipping on a pumpkin-flavored mojito. Aaauuuggghhh.”—Joy2wrld


Is That Potpourri in Your Pocket?

…or are you just happy to see me?

Yes, I just went there. Somebody had to say it.

Summer. It’s the season when the temperature rises, and we suck on popsicles, strip down to our swimsuits, and jump in the nearest pool to cool off.

It’s also the season when I lose 5 pounds just by sweating oozing glistening.

To combat sweatiness and stinkiness, I wear deodorant/anti-perspirant. And I get my underarms waxed. It hasn’t been proven yet, but I swear waxing works…probably by ripping out the underarm* sweat glands.

Anyways, I’ve always wondered what crunchy, all-natural, nondeodrant-wearing hippies do to keep from smelling. Now I know the answer.

Potpourri.

While I was shopping, I found a shirt with a little pack of potpourri attached. My guess is you put in your pocket so it overpowers any body odor.

Mystery solved. Crunchy case closed.

*To Kiefer: Women call them “underarms,” not “armpits.”

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Of course Babe Ruth isn’t a girl. It’s a candy bar. I expected more from you, Thoughtsy.”—Go Guilty Pleasures

Sorry for slacking earlier this week on picking favorite comments. Tori and Linda, I added your comments to the last 2 posts. 


What’s a Gigawatt?

The other day when Kiefer, Boo, Radley, and I were at crunchy Cafe Nola for breakfast, a DeLorean pulled up outside the window.

Radley: Whoa…look at that car’s doors!

Kiefer: It’s a DeLorean.

Boo and Radley: ::blank stares::

Kiefer: The time traveling car. From Back to the Future? Great Scott!

Me: This is heavy.

And that’s how we learned Boo and Radley’s movie education was seriously lacking. So like any good parent, Kiefer sat the boys down one night to watch Back to the Future.

Here’s what I (and Boo and Radley) learned:

  • A DeLorean used to be stylish.
  • Ronald Reagan used to be an actor.
  • A flux capacitor makes time travel possible.
  • To time travel, you need a bolt of lightning that has 1.21 gigawatts…or plutonium, which you can steal from Libyans.
  • Cars have blind spots.

What other movies should Boo and Radley watch?


This Means War…Or Food Fight

So it’s been awhile since David Zincenko and I have had a spat.

But now he brought out the big guns. He dropped the mother of all bombs with his 7 Worst Supermarket Breakfasts.

Worst Breakfast Pastry: Chocolate Chip Pop-Tarts

Oh no he did-n’t.

His opening argument: Since when has it been acceptable to eat chocolate-frosted pastries at breakfast?

Since always, doo-doo head! How long have we been eating chocolate-covered donuts? Croissants drizzled with chocolate? All of that healthy eating has warped your fragile little mind, Dave!

Unseasoned Pop-Tart eater and hater….

Let’s take a moment to review Dave’s personal vendetta against my eating habits:

Davey did mention one two things on his list that brought a smile to my face. His dissed organic oatmeal and waffles. Organic! I can’t wait to tell crunchy Kiefer that some of his organic food is actually not as good as it’s cracked up to be.

Take that, crunchy hippies!


What Makes Me Happy: Pop-Tarts Cereal

Last Friday night Kiefer and I went to the grocery store, and I saw the most amazing thing ever.

I swear I did a little happy dance in the middle of the aisle. My happy dance is a cabbage patch-disco hybrid with some clapping and jumping up and down thrown in.

I love the flavored Frosted Mini Wheats. I have them almost every morning for breakfast.

These new mini wheats have frosting and fruit in the middle. Sounds like a Pop-Tart!

Sunday morning…I can’t believe I waited until Sunday to eat them either, but I promised Kiefer Saturday morning breakfast at Cafe Nola…aka Cafe Crunchiness.

So Sunday morning I popped open the cereal box and breathed in the sugary goodness, my mouth was already watering, and then this happened:

Kiefer: I’m out of milk.

Me: W-w-w-w-hat? ::lower lip quivering and eyes tearing up::

Kiefer: ::realizing the floodgates are about to open:: We’ll run to the store really quickly and get some.

Me: And doughnuts, too? ::wiping my nose on my sleeve::

Kiefer: And doughnuts, too.

Close call, Kiefer. Close call.

To hold him over, Kiefer popped a Frosted Mini-Wheat in his mouth.

Me: Don’t tell me what it tastes like! Don’t even look at me! Your face will give it away!

On the drive there….

Me: Sooooo…what did it taste like?

Kiefer: It was awful.

Me: Oh my god, that means it was delicious! Why did you tell me?

And it was delicious. Especially accompanied by a Boston Cream-filled doughnut with chocolate icing on top.