Tag Archives: crab

Is It Time?

Kiefer: If the baby comes on Valentine’s Day, I don’t ever have to buy you a Valentine’s Day gift again, right? We’re good?

Um…no.

One of my coworkers was convinced the baby was coming on Valentine’s Day. She didn’t.

But on Sunday, after Kiefer and I finished our crab-filled Valentine’s Day brunch, I started having contractions, and I wondered if a President’s Day baby was in our future.

We spent 12+ hours timing contractions and alternating between walking Ozzy (contractions every 3.5 minutes) and putting my feet up (contractions every 5-7 minutes), and just when I was about to admit defeat, they finally subsided.

Contractions are jerks.

Apparently, crab is not a food that induces labor effectively. Unless I find out at tomorrow’s appointment that I’m dilated.

My due date is February 26th. The specialist is guessing February 18th or 19th based on her size. Technically, I could go till March 12th, but anyone who mentions that gets a swift kick to the face. TO. THE. FACE.

What’s your prediction?

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “I can’t see Australia on this map so that must mean I have to buy 15 cases? Yes?”—Daile


It Feels Good to be a Gangsta

Whenever I see other bloggers, we tend to exchange gifts. Usually people give me Pop-Tarts, and I give…booze.

And I don’t do the classy thing and give a nice bottle of wine, I give flavored liquor…in tiny bottles…to carry in your purse and whip out in an emergency.

Why? Because you never know when you’ll need a shot of vodka…to sterilize a zombie bite. Obviously.

Are you following my logic here? Probably not. Just know that on this blog, everything comes down to 3 5 things:

  • Zombies
  • Pop-Tarts
  • Dessert
  • Key Lime Pie Martinis
  • Gifts for Me

Anyways…last weekend was all about Pop-Tarts and Gifts for Me.

pop-tarts

Misty made me homemade Fig and Bacon Pop-Tarts.

I was so impressed with the homemadeness I blocked out the bacon part. You see…

Confession #1: I don’t really like bacon.

GASP! There are only 2 exceptions.

  1. The first is the bacon that’s crumbled up on salads that’s covered in so much brown-sugary-maple goodness that all you taste is sugar.
  2. The second is this:

bacon1

Hesitant Bite #1

bacon2

Need-a-Bigger-Mouth Bite #2

That’s right, Misty. Your Pop-Tart was yummy. I mean that in a undirty, uncreepy way.

But wait…that’s not all. I got even more Pop-Tarts! Some from Misty and more from The Hipster. (Note: I did not give The Hipster booze. I gave her cookies.)

pop-tart1

The Hipster and I also had the 3 Cs this weekend: crab, chocolate, and ice cream. Life is good.

Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta Pop-Tartsta.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Honestly, if you’re being attacked by a shark, you’re pretty screwed no matter how many heads it has. (Except zero. If a zero headed shark attacks you, you’ll probably be OK.)”—The Cutter Rambles


Once You Pop…

Welcome to another installment of Taste Test Tuesdays! This might actually become a semi-regular thing. Maybe. Probably not.

This time I opted for salty food: potato chips.

Boo and Radley helped with the taste test.

Macaroni and Cheese Chips

Radley: (::a thumbs up on one hand with another hand in the bag and a mouth full of chips::)

Agreed, Radley. I was afraid they would taste like regular cheesy chips, but there’s definitely a cheesy noodle aftertaste.

Mozzarella Marinara Chips*

Boo: Not enough marinara.

A boy after my own heart…except I think he got a bad chip because I tasted a lot of marinara. And I have high standards because I’m a sauce hog girl.

If we (When are you taking me out for dinner and drinks?) ever share food with dip, you’ll need to eat fast stab me with the spoon order extra dip. The cracker, bread, whatever is just a vehicle for the dip.

Seriously. No one says this:

  • “One order of nachos, please. And hold the cheese and salsa. I just want the chips.”
  • “I’d like the pita bread and spinach dip only without the spinach dip.”
  • “Thoughtsy and I will split the crab dip.”

Only say this last one if by “split,” you mean you’ll be eating the bread while I shovel the crab dip directly into my mouth using my fingers a spoon.

Consider yourself warned.

*This flavor is Esme’s favorite.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “…You may want to consider some type of bathroom spray to continue the myth that women don’t poop.”—A White Unicorn


Why Women Will Survive Zombie Attacks

Know what TV show I miss? My Name Is Earl.

I had completely forgotten about that show until I started watching Zombie Apocalypse and saw Darnell (Hey, Crabman!) in the film.

Anyways…here’s what I learned from the movie:

  • The zombie outbreak will start in Europe but spread to the U.S. in just 3 weeks.
  • The arrival of the zombie apocalypse doesn’t mean you can’t clean up. If you don’t want that chainsaw, put it back on the shelf; don’t leave it on the floor.
  • Iceskates are also weapons.

    Here Kitty Kitty.

  • Avoid zoos. Zombie tigers are dangerous.

And most importantly, never go anywhere alone. Using the Buddy System is part of Zombie Safety 101.

That’s why women go to the bathroom in groups. We always want to be prepared for a zombie attack.

And the women shall inherit the earth….


Mr. Krabs’s Crabby Melt

A local restaurant is said to have some of the best grilled cheese sandwiches in the United States.

Since I usually only write about desserts on my blog, let me fill you in on my thoughts on grilled cheese:

Who cares?

I can’t even remember the last time I ate grilled cheese. It has been years.

So why bother with grilled cheese from Grilled Cheese and Co? Two reasons.

  1. This description from the article: “After you bite into it, the cheese should stretch out past your face as far as your arm will reach.” Mmmmm…cheese.
  2. The restaurant is famous for its Crabby Melt grilled cheese. Mmmm…crab.

Crab and cheese together makes crab dip. And that, my blogger friends, is my favorite nondessert food.

This sammich was pretty yum-my. I would definitely go back.

PS: After reading the title, is this SpongeBob Squarepants theme song stuck in your head? It should be.

PPS: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea….

PPPS: I’m off to New Orleans with Blarney, so have a lovely weekend!