Tag Archives: Colonoscopy

30 Before 30: New and Improved

After careful consideration, I’ve decided to change my 30 Before 30 List. ::Gasp!::

Here’s what I’m changing:

5. Learn to speak Italian.

I still want to do this, but I’m not going to learn Italian in the remaining 6 months because I’ll be busy learning American Sign Language. I don’t want to half-ass it, so I’ll postpone Italian for my 35 Before 35 list.

7. Go to Las Vegas or Atlantic City.

With my upcoming cruise and my recent Florida trip, I don’t think I have the money to go on another big trip. Which stinks because I was hoping I might get a chance to meet ThyPolarLife and Hacking Vegas.

I’m pretty sure that Las Vegas and Atlantic City will still be there when I’m 30. Of course, I said that about New Orleans a few years ago, and look how well that turned out.

11. No chocolate for 5 days.

Ha! I don’t know what I was thinking. Obviously I was hopped up on Pop-Tarts. Who needs chocolate when there’s Pop-Tarts? Me. I need chocolate, too.

Besides, I’m pretty sure I went for 5 days without chocolate before and after the colonoscopy. ::shudder:: I don’t really remember. I tried to block it out. Thinking about it makes me twitch. ::shudder-twitch::

27. Learn to dance.

I learned the Cupid Shuffle. Does that count? Due to finances (again), I’m going to postpone this one.

I bet you’re wondering what the replacement items are.

5. Meet a fellow blogger.

Why? Because you guys are cool. We need to hang out. I’m accepting applications.

Actually I started drafting this post awhile ago when I realized money didn’t grow on trees, and shortly after, the Hipster came to the zombie crawl. But I’d be up for meeting someone else if you think that’s cheating.

7. Pay for someone else at a drive-thru.

 The people behind me will probably end up being the Duggar family, and then I’ll be too broke to pay for my own meal, but I’m willing to take that risk.

11. Do something outdoorsy.

Kiefer thinks we should do the Via Ferrata to Nelson Rocks, but I was thinking some more along the lines of a picnic…at a park…where no climbing is involved.

27. Visit a fortune teller/palm reader/psychic.

I always like hearing about other people’s experiences, so I think it’s time I went.

C-Day Approaches

C-Day. If this wasn’t in the Ewww category, you might have thought I meant “Candy” or “Chocolate” or “Cupcake.” I wish every day was cupcake day.

Alas, C-Day stands for Colonoscopy day. And that day is rapidly approaching.

Everyone says the prep is the worst. Probably because you’re asleep for the procedures, so what does that leave really? Only the beginning and the end.

The Beginning:

  1. I have to go a whole day without chocolate. Accomplishing this will be a feat in itself. A year ago I went a day without chocolate. Ask Kiefer Sutherland. It was a horrible day…for both of us. Constant crankiness.
  2. I have to drink Gatorade mixed with something gross tasting. I don’t even like Gatorade.
  3. I get an IV. I hate needles.

The Middle:

  1. I won’t remember the procedure itself because I’ll be knocked out. The last time I had anesthesia was when I had my wisdom teeth pulled. I woke up in the middle of it. That had better not happen with my colonoscopy.

The End:

  1. After my wisdom teeth were pulled and I woke up, I puked. I’m hoping that doesn’t happen again.
  2. I was still pretty loopy when they released me. I sang “12 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed” and told my parents how I nearly missed a final exam due to oversleeping. Hopefully confessions won’t happen again either.

I think the beginning will definitely be worse.

Any tips would be appreciated. I’ve already been told to tell them I’m a bad stick, that I may pass out upon seeing the needle, that I tend to get sick after anesthesia, and…OH MY GOD I forgot the fourth thing….