Tag Archives: Chocolate

There’s Bacon in My Dessert

You know it’s going to be a good day when you wake up to see any of the following:

  • You haven’t overslept.
  • Your cat fed itself.
  • You’ve won the lottery.
  • Your roommates actually cleaned up the pizza box and half eaten slices instead of leaving them sit out all night. (I have a better chance of winning the lottery….)
  • Your blog is Freshly Pressed.
  • It’s not the zombie apocalypse…yet.
  • Yogi Castle, the greatest frozen yogurt place ever, is following you on Twitter.

That’s right: Yogi Castle is following ME on Twitter. Someone there knows all about the Yogi Castle Chronicles.

So every night for the rest of my life one night this week I’ll be celebrating with Yogi Castle’s new flavor:

Okay…so maybe I already celebrated.

Mounds Yogurt, Coconut, Cookie Dough, and Caramel and Vanilla Syrups

And for you weirdos freaks other people who like bacon in your dessert, there’s something for you, too.

Non-Fat Bay-con

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “What the hell are Peeps??? I’m Australian, so please use words like “beer” or “ale” and also “lager” to describe the treat.”—Captain Sweatpants

So many of the comments on the last post were hilarious. Also check out Ellie Ann’s, and Laurie’s, Queen Gen’s, and Vesta Vayne’s comment thread, which starts here.


Please Pass Smore Peeps Smores

Wanna know a secret? I don’t like Peeps. I think it’s the sugar on the outside.

I know: I’m the Sugar Queen. How can there be too much sugar? It perplexes me as well.

But it’s not my sweets reputation that I’m worried about. I’m keeping it a secret because Kiefer put some Peeps in my Easter basket. Bless his little heart: he didn’t know I don’t like Peeps. Heck, I didn’t even know. I’d never tasted Peeps before.

Kiefer: Do you like Peeps?

My Thoughts: I’ve never actually had one, but if I say that, he’s gonna tease me for being a picky eater and not trying new things. They’re just marshmallow and sugar, right? How can you go wrong with that?

What I Said: Sure. Nothing gives me more pleasure than biting the head off a marshmallow bird.

But I gave Peeps one last chance to redeem themselves.

I made a Peep smore.

Before

After

And it was delicious. And it was a-maz-ing to watch one blow up in the microwave. Toasting them over the fire worked, too, but I prefered to watch the Peep swell up to softball size.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “For your soccer game, you should most definitely be wearing lingerie. There will be an underwear runway for you to strut on. Make sure to have three glasses of wine to really make the undies pop.”—Blissful Britt


Chocolate + Coconut = Crack

Good morning, class! Would everyone please take their seats?

Readers, if you’ve learned anything here, I hope it’s these two things:

  1. Acceptable Chocolate-to-Fruit Ratio
  2. Yummy Food = Crack

The other day Miss Piece of the Piehole sent me a link to a blog with lots of delicious food.

Because of my recent coconut kick, I made The Domestic Rebel’s Almond Joy Blondie Bars. Except I used more chocolate…of course.

Even though the recipes don’t specifically list “crack” as an ingredient, I’m sure it’s in there. Why? Science.

Chemistry 101

I suspect that when certain foods come into contact with each other, a chemical reaction occurs and results in an addictive substance known as crack.

For those of you mathematically inclined, write this equation down. It’s even more important than E = MC².

Chocolate³ + Coconut = Crack

That’s just one example. Here’s another:

When the amount of Cake ≤ the amount of Icing = Crack

Physics 101

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Action: Eating food with crack in it.

Reaction: Eating even more food with crack in it.

Reaction to the Reaction: Expanding thighs.

Favorite Comment from Previous Post: “I vote turbo-slut, but with nerds! You’ll be doing a good deed while getting knocked up and staying disease free! And your kid will probably be a genius, there’s really no downside.”—Cocktails at Tiffanys


Taking Reese’s Out to the Ball Game

Someone (::cough, Ddot, cough::) sent me this awful, awful picture.

So many things are wrong with this picture, I don’t even know where to begin. ::head shaking::

Not only does the fruit outweigh the chocolate, peanut butter should never be paired with any fruit except apples and maybe bananas.

Ddot sent me the picture. He’s my coworker who…

When he found out about the Reese’s-WordPress takeover, he had his own Reese’s Cup outing. He took Reese’s Cups out to a baseball game.

And here's the wind up....

But every Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup eventually meets the same fate.

RIP Reeses. Your death wasn't in vain. You made Ddot's son very happy.


Better Living Through Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups

Remember that commercial that asked “How do you eat your Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup?” I ask a better question…

Where do you eat your Reese’s?

Princess and I went to Washington, DC, to find the perfect place to eat a Reese’s Cup.

First stop…the Washington Monument.

Little did I know “The Reeses” (I named him.) is afraid of heights. So we headed over to the Natural History Museum.

I was about to bite into The Reeses, but the little cup said his last dying wish was to see the dinosaurs. So we went inside.

Velociraptors are allergic to chocolate. That's how this guy died.

This dinosaur totally tried to swipe the Reeses…and so did this guy.

Leggo my Reese's, Neanderthal!

After that close call, The Reeses tried to run away. But he’s not very good at blending in.

After all that walking, I had quite an appetite, so The Reeses and I had to part ways in front of the Capitol Building. I miss that little guy already.

On this historic day, 19 of your favorite humor bloggers are staging a WordPress coup. We have banded together to address the important topic of Better Living Through Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

Yes, you read that right. We are all presenting the same topic, each from his or her particularly unique perspective. Check out the other blogs participating!